officially over.
my heart is .s.k.i.p.p.i.n.g. beats.
i don't know what to feel right now.
i have butterflies fighting each other in my stomach.
i'm sad, but trying to forget about it all at the same time.
what the heck...i'm ♥broken.
he's moved onto another girl who likes him, too.
who was i kidding? i'm one ((ugly ass girl)):
- my face might as well just be an oil mine
- my body, a source for lard (whatever that's used for).
here's how it goes: i almost had him and am jealous that i almost had him, but lost him; jealous that he likes another girl and not me. but wtf would he like me? just because i'm a hopeless romantic does not make me anymore attractive. and now it just hurts to see him liking another girl because she likes him, too.
WHY CAN'T I JUST SKIP THE WHOLE FREAKING GAY DATING SCENE AND GET MARRIED ALREADY! FOR THE ♥ OF GOD HIMSELF!
i'm pretty sure he's just a big flirt as well; i don't understand how he would like me in the first place but if he still did, it's only because he's always talking to me and smiling and making jokes with me. he doesn't really do that with other people...? so he's either a big flirt and lead me on...or really liked me. but how the hell would he ever like me? i don't understand that part foremost. and if he did like me, then how was i supposed to know? he obviously had to have an attraction for only about week.
but then again, i'm a :H:O:P:E:L:E:S:S: :R:O:M:A:N:T:I:C:.
and all i do is hope; hope for the innevitable, that is.
it just hurts because he was almost mine. almost. i was that close.
i've been thinking . . . i don't want to be fat anymore.
i wish i could stick to a regiman; lots of water everyday, no sweets, no fats, low calories.
and tonight i felt the need to cut. i don't remember why. but i made a breakthrough...
i don't feel worthy to feel; i feel like i shouldn't have emotions. i don't feel like i deserve to feel things. i don't understand this. someone please get me some help and a shrink.
cutting helps me feel though. which is why i do it - partly why. sometimes i just get so excited to do it.
good gosh almighty i am one messed up girl.
good thing he's mormon or else i'd have a real big problem. he'd be too perfect. oh yeah, and he actually got into an arguement with me the other day about religion. about baptism and stuff. too bad you are wrong and i am right! (no offense to anyone who is mormon, but he was just, like, "oh yeah, i made all that stuff up." so i don't know actually what is real)
anyway. i don't know. it just kind of hurts to see a guy who you liked so so so much and could have quite possibly really liked you and then seemed to move on so quickly. whatever. he's mormon. it would have NEVER worked out anyway.
and college will be good to me.
dear GOD i hope it will be good to me.
i don't know what to feel right now.
i have butterflies fighting each other in my stomach.
i'm sad, but trying to forget about it all at the same time.
what the heck...i'm ♥broken.
he's moved onto another girl who likes him, too.
who was i kidding? i'm one ((ugly ass girl)):
- my face might as well just be an oil mine
- my body, a source for lard (whatever that's used for).
here's how it goes: i almost had him and am jealous that i almost had him, but lost him; jealous that he likes another girl and not me. but wtf would he like me? just because i'm a hopeless romantic does not make me anymore attractive. and now it just hurts to see him liking another girl because she likes him, too.
WHY CAN'T I JUST SKIP THE WHOLE FREAKING GAY DATING SCENE AND GET MARRIED ALREADY! FOR THE ♥ OF GOD HIMSELF!
i'm pretty sure he's just a big flirt as well; i don't understand how he would like me in the first place but if he still did, it's only because he's always talking to me and smiling and making jokes with me. he doesn't really do that with other people...? so he's either a big flirt and lead me on...or really liked me. but how the hell would he ever like me? i don't understand that part foremost. and if he did like me, then how was i supposed to know? he obviously had to have an attraction for only about week.
but then again, i'm a :H:O:P:E:L:E:S:S: :R:O:M:A:N:T:I:C:.
and all i do is hope; hope for the innevitable, that is.
it just hurts because he was almost mine. almost. i was that close.
i've been thinking . . . i don't want to be fat anymore.
i wish i could stick to a regiman; lots of water everyday, no sweets, no fats, low calories.
and tonight i felt the need to cut. i don't remember why. but i made a breakthrough...
i don't feel worthy to feel; i feel like i shouldn't have emotions. i don't feel like i deserve to feel things. i don't understand this. someone please get me some help and a shrink.
cutting helps me feel though. which is why i do it - partly why. sometimes i just get so excited to do it.
good gosh almighty i am one messed up girl.
good thing he's mormon or else i'd have a real big problem. he'd be too perfect. oh yeah, and he actually got into an arguement with me the other day about religion. about baptism and stuff. too bad you are wrong and i am right! (no offense to anyone who is mormon, but he was just, like, "oh yeah, i made all that stuff up." so i don't know actually what is real)
anyway. i don't know. it just kind of hurts to see a guy who you liked so so so much and could have quite possibly really liked you and then seemed to move on so quickly. whatever. he's mormon. it would have NEVER worked out anyway.
and college will be good to me.
dear GOD i hope it will be good to me.