Weird Night
.
So it's a weird night.
I am in the temple, lying in bed nude, trying to go to sleep. It feels like a spring morning where you just wake up hot and groggy and don't know if you can go back to dreaming or if you might as well drag your ass out of bed and be productive. Weird thing is, it's a fall night. I was ready to curl up into my sheets and doze off into a deep sleep, but then... I am as wide awake as I can be. I don't know if I should get dressed and start looking into my new career via online searches, or if I should just give up trying anything even going back to bed and see what happens.
Things have slightly shifted in my mentality in the last hour. I knew what I was going to be doing short and long term:
Tomorrow I was going to get all sexyfied and go to a Rock Horror Picture Show presentation for halloween.
The next day I would enjoy time at a cafe looking into joining the Muppet crew.
I thought I knew that if I couldn't get into the Muppets, I would stay here and rent from a friend while working in a cafe for temporary.
Now I don't know when I should move out of the temple.
I also don't know where to live then... a friend's place or back home.
I don't know if I should take time to meditate tomorrow and drop getting all made up for the show.
I was thinking about dressing up for halloween, but I don't know what to be... or how much money I should spend...
I am starting to get into this weird almost depressed "How come things aren't how I want them to be" mood. These things are never a good time. I guess I could just ignore imposing thoughts by enjoying some Ventriloquist fan art and then sleeping off any left over thoughts. :) Yeah that's a great plan!!
I should really keep in mind (aleast for later times when this happens) what was said in Pleasantville. Things aren't supposed to be anything. Don't settle for pleasant when things can be better like silly, sexy, or dangerous.
So it's a weird night.
I am in the temple, lying in bed nude, trying to go to sleep. It feels like a spring morning where you just wake up hot and groggy and don't know if you can go back to dreaming or if you might as well drag your ass out of bed and be productive. Weird thing is, it's a fall night. I was ready to curl up into my sheets and doze off into a deep sleep, but then... I am as wide awake as I can be. I don't know if I should get dressed and start looking into my new career via online searches, or if I should just give up trying anything even going back to bed and see what happens.
Things have slightly shifted in my mentality in the last hour. I knew what I was going to be doing short and long term:
Tomorrow I was going to get all sexyfied and go to a Rock Horror Picture Show presentation for halloween.
The next day I would enjoy time at a cafe looking into joining the Muppet crew.
I thought I knew that if I couldn't get into the Muppets, I would stay here and rent from a friend while working in a cafe for temporary.
Now I don't know when I should move out of the temple.
I also don't know where to live then... a friend's place or back home.
I don't know if I should take time to meditate tomorrow and drop getting all made up for the show.
I was thinking about dressing up for halloween, but I don't know what to be... or how much money I should spend...
I am starting to get into this weird almost depressed "How come things aren't how I want them to be" mood. These things are never a good time. I guess I could just ignore imposing thoughts by enjoying some Ventriloquist fan art and then sleeping off any left over thoughts. :) Yeah that's a great plan!!
I should really keep in mind (aleast for later times when this happens) what was said in Pleasantville. Things aren't supposed to be anything. Don't settle for pleasant when things can be better like silly, sexy, or dangerous.