(no subject)
its 913, i just got finished reading alyssas away message.. says shes at evans. sounds like they have a good relationship. jesus, i miss being in a relationship so bad its pathetic. yeah, gabe and i are still together.. if you could call it that.. i mean.. hes in jail. i never see nor hear from him except for once a night for a sec. to say goodnight.. and that costs me 3.50 a pop.. so thats gonna stop soon. i had told tj that i liked him.. and later on in that day.. it seemed like he liked me too.. but i guess not. tracie says he doesnt. oh well.. theres a rumor that the cj from produce wants me. but its not like any of this matters cause im still with gabe. but at the same time.. its like killing me that i dont have someone physically there for me. see if gabe wasnt so stupid. and didnt hang out with that loser.. then everything would be perfect now. and this entry would be more of a oh everythings great with gabe and i.. oh i love him so much! well i do love him. he is very important to me. and of course.. the parents have no sympothy for what im going thru. i mean they are talking to me about whats going on with gabe.. and they care about him..and hows he doing and things like that... but this is my time to be selfish.. what about me. ive been listening to Incubus for the past three weeks straight. and its still not getting old. my new favorite song is here in my room. good song.
anyways.im going nuts cause i cant touch or be touched by someone and i cant stand it.
gabe doesnt want me to hang out with johnny.. cause of what happened when i stayed over his house till like 3 or whenever.. but it hasnt stopped me. i like hanging out with him.. its fun. it gets me out of the house and doing things other than work.
ive come to the realization that im not happy with my life right now. nor am i happy with my social life. it seems like the only friends i have right now to rely on are seany, tracie, colleen, arleen, and johnny. i basically have told them everything.. including how i got my skittles and m&ms.. idn.. ive been talking to agiliti in sculpture a lot. it seems like i like it better talking and hanging out with her and her friends rather then to hang out with seany derek and kevin on the bus. seany is cool.. kevin just makes slut jokes at me.. and then the whole bridge situation with derek just throws me for a loop. i dong hang out with colleen at all after school.. and tracie and i only have hung out a few times. and johnny is my nite time friend. agiliti tries to include me in things.. but they just seem to not work out. and i dont want to feel like some kind of nutso stalker when i ask if i can hang out with her. i feel like a total loser.
ive been wearing a lot of black.. no doesnt mean shit people.. no gothic wanna be here.. idn.. it seems like thats all my clothes are.. i wish i had money so i can go out and just redo my wardrobe. just drop in that hollister store. i really like the clothes there. im sick of looking like a hottopic reject. i guess im just going thru another phase. i feel like my whole life needs a make over. my life is slowly falling apart. again. well... atleast my cat loves me.
well im gonna get going.
anyways.im going nuts cause i cant touch or be touched by someone and i cant stand it.
gabe doesnt want me to hang out with johnny.. cause of what happened when i stayed over his house till like 3 or whenever.. but it hasnt stopped me. i like hanging out with him.. its fun. it gets me out of the house and doing things other than work.
ive come to the realization that im not happy with my life right now. nor am i happy with my social life. it seems like the only friends i have right now to rely on are seany, tracie, colleen, arleen, and johnny. i basically have told them everything.. including how i got my skittles and m&ms.. idn.. ive been talking to agiliti in sculpture a lot. it seems like i like it better talking and hanging out with her and her friends rather then to hang out with seany derek and kevin on the bus. seany is cool.. kevin just makes slut jokes at me.. and then the whole bridge situation with derek just throws me for a loop. i dong hang out with colleen at all after school.. and tracie and i only have hung out a few times. and johnny is my nite time friend. agiliti tries to include me in things.. but they just seem to not work out. and i dont want to feel like some kind of nutso stalker when i ask if i can hang out with her. i feel like a total loser.
ive been wearing a lot of black.. no doesnt mean shit people.. no gothic wanna be here.. idn.. it seems like thats all my clothes are.. i wish i had money so i can go out and just redo my wardrobe. just drop in that hollister store. i really like the clothes there. im sick of looking like a hottopic reject. i guess im just going thru another phase. i feel like my whole life needs a make over. my life is slowly falling apart. again. well... atleast my cat loves me.
well im gonna get going.