Two for the price of one.
Dear Sam and Dean,
All people are the same in that we all put our pants on one leg at a time. But it is rumored that one can tell a lot about a man by which pants leg he starts with. So, which leg does each of you start with? If either or both cannot remember off the top of your head, I can just observe for myself, no biggie.
Signed,
Leftie First
Dear Leftie,
Do most people put their pants on one leg at a time? Huh.
LOVE Dean
Dear Dean,
I just found out that the laptop that you and Sam use belongs to you. To which I have only one thing to ask: Dude, what's up with the girly stickers??
Sincerely (bewildered),
hrlo
Dear Hrlo,
I'm not sure where you're seeing these "girly stickers." You mean the rugged and manly skull? Or the extremely masculine protection symbols at either end? It's not like I've got fuckin' Hello Kitty on there. Jesus.
Anyway, it was Sam's idea. He got those stickers off the internet before he left for college, and I just never got around to taking them off. If I peel them off now there'll be one of those gross sticky residue things. Man, I hate that shit.
Funny story: I tried to shoot one of the little fuckers off with rock salt once but now the damn thing is just lumpy.
Most importantly, though, these stickers pick up rogue wireless signals all over the country. (Well, them, and the psychic implant in Sam's head, which also picks up radio wavelengths out of state. But don't try to tune his ear, 'cause he'll get seriously pissed.) So basically, no matter where we go we can always have instant access to google and ebay, which together can solve 99.95% of all supernatural-related problems.
Whatever. In conclusion: stickers are useful, manly and stylish. Also, they're kinda like reading Proust in a coffee shop--even if you're reading that shit upside down, chicks are gonna come over and talk to you. And, if you're not completely retarded like my brother here, you'll actually put the book down.
LOVE Dean