(no subject)
Dear Dean,
My roommate is driving me crazy! All she does is sit around with her friends and watch episodes of Supernatural over and over again. She makes all sorts of screechy noises, and frequently cries out, "DEAN, DEAN, DEAN!!" I honestly think it would be less annoying if she were to have loud sex while I was doing my homework. What do I do?!
-Frazzled
Dear Frazzled,
What's this girl's name, and how can I get in touch with her? I'm always eager to meet chicks who are willing to scream my name loudly.
As far as your "problem" goes, the clear solution is to start watching this TV show. I've never heard of it, but if it's got a character named Dean, it can't be all bad. Or maybe you should encourage your roommate to have loud sex while you're doing your homework. Hell, I sure wouldn't object to that. Maybe I could be the one she's having loud sex with. Get back to me with her phone number, yeah?
LOVE Dean