(no subject)
for the most part, i hate snow. i hate winter. but i like not going to school.
i thought id be fine to talk to him. for some reason i thought id be over it in two days. but i was soo wrong. when he talks to me i feel my stomach turn. but i dont cry. i dont think i can anymore. i cant go everyday feeling like this. the last time i was truely happy without no worries of any kind was last november. yeah, not even kidding. i cant go a day without feeling depressed or not good enough. and if u know me, ive never been the jealous type, but anymore no matter who i see or where i am i know that they are better than me and that makes me mad at myself. i believe myself to be nothing. and everyday i put a smile on my face to make it seem like i have it all, but i dont. i have nothing, no one. i have officially given up on myself.
i thought id be fine to talk to him. for some reason i thought id be over it in two days. but i was soo wrong. when he talks to me i feel my stomach turn. but i dont cry. i dont think i can anymore. i cant go everyday feeling like this. the last time i was truely happy without no worries of any kind was last november. yeah, not even kidding. i cant go a day without feeling depressed or not good enough. and if u know me, ive never been the jealous type, but anymore no matter who i see or where i am i know that they are better than me and that makes me mad at myself. i believe myself to be nothing. and everyday i put a smile on my face to make it seem like i have it all, but i dont. i have nothing, no one. i have officially given up on myself.