Stay With Me
Title: Stay with Me
Author: deansdirtybb
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Words: 5664
Warnings: Sad fic with no happy ending, oral, fingering, anal, bareback, infidelity
Disclaimer: This is not real, the names used belong to real people, but I mean them no disrespect with this work of fiction. None of the events written here have ever really happened, and I hope that no tragedy like this ever comes to any of them.
Summary: When Jensen comes home to an empty house, he calls on his best friend to help him deal with the pain.
AN #1: I’ve been obsessed with Sam Smith’s latest song “Stay With Me” and the other day when I was listening I was hit with this plot bunny. This is the first J2 fic I’ve ever written (though I’ve been reading J2 for years, longer than Wincest actually), and also the first time I’ve written a fic from a song. I’ve borrowed the lyrics, twisted them a little and you’ll find some of them scattered throughout the fic. I highly recommend listening to it as you read. Link to Song.
AN#2: Thanks to katstark for the beta, you’re amazing and I shudder to think what my writing would look like without your help. Also hugs and thanks to sleepypercy for the cheer-leading as I pieced this one together.
Feel free to leave me comments...I love when you love me ;)
Stay with Me
Jensen immediately knew something was wrong when he opened his front door to silence. He stepped into the foyer and the house felt empty. Slowly and carefully he set his duffel on the floor as gingerly as if he was trying to avoid a landmine. He looked into the kitchen and living room; he couldn’t place it but the icy panic of something missing crawled up his spine and across his skin.
“Danni?” he called out tentatively as he crossed the kitchen. “Danneel?” And then his eyes caught on the cream-color of paper against the dark granite of the counter. It was covered in writing and the only thing he could make out from here was that it was his wife’s loopy cursive. “Danni?” his voice wavered this time and he knew she wouldn’t answer even before his shaky legs carried him to the letter.
Jensen’s mouth went dry as he skimmed through the short letter, his brain catching on phrases along the way but still not really processing the message. “…sorry…” “…not working anymore…” “…both knew this was coming…” The last sentence to catch his eye was “I’ve taken JJ with me.” The page slipped from his numb fingers, floating to the floor calm as an autumn leaf while Jensen hyperventilated above.
He collapsed into one of the barstools by the counter. He scrubbed his hands up his face, into his hair and then back down, bringing them together in a prayer-like pose in front of his lips as the tears started to slip from his eyes. He didn’t understand. His wife and baby were gone, and he didn’t understand. Maybe things weren’t perfect, but he loved Danneel, and adored his daughter. And now they were gone? The last word brought a hiccupping sob from his throat as the real terror and agony set in.
Almost without volition, his hand plunged into his pocket. Drawing out his phone, he flicked his thumb across the screen a few times. Dialing this number when he was hurt and scared was so automatic he didn’t need his malfunctioning brain to make the decision. As the line began ringing he brought the phone to his ear.
* * * * *
Jared’s phone vibrated in his pocket and when he saw the name on the display he smiled as he answered. “Hey J, I was just about-“ Jared cut himself off when the only sound he could hear coming across the line was crying, sobbing actually.
“J-jared,” Jensen managed to choke out between sobs. If Jared didn’t know his best friend so well he wouldn’t believe the broken person behind that voice was Jensen.
Jared sat ramrod straight in his chair. “Jensen? What’s wrong? What happened?”
There was more crying, then a gasping breath before Jensen attempted to speak again. “Sh-shh-she….a-and…JJ-“ his daughter’s name on his lips reduced Jensen to another round of wrenching sobs broken only by gasps for air.
“Jensen? J?” No answer but the repeating sounds of his best friend crying. “J, try to breathe, buddy. I’m coming over. Right now. Be there in a few minutes. Ok? Just, don’t move. Hang on, man. I’m coming.”
Jensen nodded into the phone even though Jared couldn’t see him, then managed to breathe out a simple “’Kay,” before hanging up.
Jared jumped in his truck and prayed there would be no cops along the way as he sped across town, immediately glad he hadn’t left L.A. yet. He reached Jensen’s house in less than half the time it should have taken. He punched the code into the front gate and pulled his truck up to the front door, practically leaping from his vehicle to the stoop.
He threw the door open and called out for his friend as he made his way through the house. He found Jensen perched on the bed in the master bedroom. The older man was no longer crying, but his eyes were red, his fair skin even paler and his hair mussed from the habit of rubbing over his face and scalp that Jared always saw when Jensen was upset or frustrated.
Jared carefully crossed the room, movements quick but gentle as he approached his friend. He lowered his tall frame to sit on the bed next to Jensen, and even when the mattress dipped beside him Jensen didn’t move or speak. Jared took a deep breath, not sure where to start. He still had no idea what had happened to Jensen, but was afraid asking would spark a new round of tears and in all their years as friends Jared had never heard Jensen in that state, not even as Dean. Jared wrapped an arm around his friend and drew him closer.
Jensen collapsed against Jared’s side, quiet tears streamed down his cheeks as the heat from his friend’s body warmed him. Just having Jared here gave him comfort. He raised his hand, pushing a crumpled sheet of paper into Jared’s hand. Jared accepted it and smoothed it open to read it. His hazel eyes widened as he worked his way through the letter and by the end Jensen could see tears in his friend’s eyes.
“Jensen, I…I’m so sorry, man. I had no idea…” Jared looked down into Jensen’s eyes. Something in the familiar mossy depths startled him, an intensity in the gaze that he didn’t dare name. Jared swallowed. “I thought things were fine.”
Jensen shook his head, unable to explain Danneel’s actions to Jared any more than he’d been able to make sense of them for himself. He looked down at the floor as he felt his emotions begin to swell and overwhelm him again. He felt the heat of Jared’s big hand rubbing over his back as he just let Jensen weep.
The crying and uneven breathing smoothed out again, and Jensen raised his head slowly until he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror over the dresser. He huffed at himself, “This is not a good look.” He smiled weakly at Jared, “I need to get control of myself.” He attempted a deep breath which only ended in a ragged sigh.
Jared pulled Jensen into a one-armed hug. “It’s ok. You’re wife took off with your kid. You’re allowed to be emotional, J.”
“Not like I’ll never see them again.” Jensen’s face grimaced in a clear tell that he was once-again fighting not to cry. Jared squeezed his shoulder and Jensen let his head fall forward again, mumbling something that Jared couldn’t quite make out from behind his hands.
Jared sighed and pulled Jensen against in him in a real hug, wrapping his long arms around his best friend and squeezing tight. “Jensen, of course you’ll see them again. But right now it hurts. That’s ok.” Jared felt Jensen’s body shake and heard sniffling in the crook of his neck as Jensen buried his face for a new round of sobs. Jared let it happen, leaving Jensen’s head resting against him even as the tears soaked through his t-shirt. His hands gently rubbed up and down Jensen’s back until the sobbing slowed to tears and then tapered off completely.
Jared’s heart broke for his friend; he couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he came home to find the house empty, Genevieve gone with his boys and very little explanation. Without thinking about it, he placed a soft kiss to the crown of Jensen’s head. He felt Jensen’s arm snake around his waist and he was pulled tighter against the other man as Jensen’s breathing evened out once more.
Jensen focused on the comfort of his friend; Jared’s body was warm pressed against his, strong arms encircled him and he felt protected. He was sure the pain would still be there in the morning, but for now he was done feeling it. He breathed in deep and Jared’s familiar scent invaded his senses. Jensen was used to the smell and it always felt like home; no matter what city they were in for filming or conventions, Jared was a constant. In a moment where everything about his life that had made sense was suddenly turned on its head, Jared was the same. Jensen pushed his nose further into the crook of Jared’s neck wanting to drown in the relief and security of that scent.
Jared felt Jensen’s head burrow deeper into him and he squeezed him in another hug, letting Jensen pull whatever meager comfort he could from the simple embrace. If he couldn’t fix this for his friend, at least he could give him this one thing.
As Jensen allowed his nose to forage further in search of the soothing effect of Jared’s smell, his lips bumped against the warm skin of Jared’s throat and a hot spark shot through him, registering low in his belly. He flashed back to that first convention in Rome, both he and Jared a little too drunk, a little too tired, and so far away from everything they knew. Hot kisses that never got a chance to get carried away before they guiltily pulled back from each other. And suddenly some of Danneel’s words made sense. He pushed the realization and the accompanying tangle of uncomfortable feelings down, and let his lips purse against Jared’s skin to leave a kiss just above the mole that always peeked from Jared’s collar.
Jared felt Jensen’s lips press against his skin, knew his best friend had just kissed his neck, knew how he should react, but he was frozen. He could not make his muscles obey any command to work and his brain was stuck on a loop replaying the sensation of Jensen’s soft lips against his neck with the long-suppressed memory of drunken kisses on another continent. He felt a hot puff of breath against the skin Jensen had just kissed and Jensen’s hand bunched the material of the front of his shirt as he leaned the slightest bit back, tipping his head up toward Jared’s face.
Their eyes locked as the scant inches between their parted lips disappeared and they connected. Both closed their eyes as their lips slowly moved together, Jensen capturing Jared’s upper lip and Jared gently sucking Jensen’s full bottom lip into his mouth. Jensen felt Jared’s heart pounding beneath his hand and knew the organ in his own chest beat out a similar rhythm. Wrong or not, he needed this, needed Jared, right now, and the imminent rejection petrified him as they pulled back.
“Jensen.” The name punched from Jared’s lips, jagged and pained.
“I know, Jared.” Jensen swallowed against the tears and the dread and he looked into Jared’s tilted, soft eyes. “I know this never works…but…you could…lay with me? So it doesn’t hurt. I just-just don’t want to hurt for now. Just for now?”
Jared closed his eyes against the sting that threatened to spill over into crying. All the things they’d never acknowledged long enough to reject now swirled between them. Jared could no more deny his attraction to Jensen than he could stop his heart from beating in his chest. He opened his eyes to find bright green-gold irises caught between pain and hope as Jensen waited for his answer.
“Jensen…I’m-I’m no good at one-night stands.”
Jensen leaned his forehead against Jared’s. “I…I just need….” Jensen dragged in a breath. “I’m just a man, Jay.” He closed his eyes as he whispered, “Please?”
Though every single part of Jared’s brain told him every single thing about this was a bad idea, his lips slid against Jensen’s as he replied, “Just tonight.” Jared felt Jensen nod and he took a deep breath as he surrendered to every unspoken desire that churned between them.
Jensen’s hand traced up Jared’s chest around his neck and up into the unruly locks of his hair as he claimed Jared’s pink lips in the first of a string of ever-increasingly eager kisses. Their lips parted and tongues met, Jensen’s hand tightened in Jared’s hair, and Jared’s hands cupped Jensen’s stubbled jaw.
Jensen couldn’t tear his lips from Jared’s. It was like every kiss healed him for the barest fraction of a second before tearing him into pieces all over again and he clung to Jared taking kiss after kiss. Tentative hands found their way down Jared’s chest, resting on his waist as Jensen let his fingers trace over the skin beneath. Jared placed his hands over Jensen’s, rubbing over them for a moment before breaking the kiss to lean back and pull his shirt off over his head.
It wasn’t that Jensen had never seen Jared without a shirt before, but something about his friend’s naked skin on display before him now drove home the reality of what they were about to do. His hand had the slightest hint at a tremor as he reached out to place it over Jared’s heart. Jared leaned forward and kissed him again as he grasped the hem of Jensen’s shirt and tugged it up until Jensen pulled away from the kiss to let him remove it. He dropped it on the floor with his own shirt and looked up to take in the sight of Jensen shirtless waiting for his touch.
Jared traced a finger over Jensen’s freckled collarbone, smiling at Jensen’s sharp intake of breath. Jensen never took credit for just how gorgeous his body was; strong arms, rippling shoulders and a gently muscled torso, all covered in tiny brown flecks. Jared lowered his head, laying a line of kisses over the path his finger had just taken and when his mouth finally made it to the junction between Jensen’s neck and shoulder, he sucked the flesh into his mouth.
Jensen moaned, hands pushing into Jared’s hair until his fists clutched at the chestnut strands desperately. Jared’s hands smoothed up Jensen’s flanks and his lips found Jensen’s ear again, shushed him gently. “ ‘Sokay, J. I got ya. Shhh.” Jared placed his lips over Jensen’s in a tenderly heated kiss as he lowered him gently onto the bed. He balanced on his arms over Jensen, kissing him as he brought his own long legs into the bed.
Propped on all fours, he leaned into kiss after kiss until he felt Jensen’s strong hands sliding down his back; there was the briefest moment of hesitation at his waist and then thick fingers grasped the globes of Jared’s ass and he moaned into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen arched up as he urged Jared down until their groins met, sending a rush of blood to cocks that were already more than half hard. A curse tumbled out of the kiss and Jared wasn’t sure if it had come from him or Jensen.
Bending his knee to get his foot underneath him, Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared’s back and rolled until he had 6’4” of hard, tanned muscle spread beneath him. His tongue unconsciously snuck across his plumped, kiss-ruddy lips as he took in the sight Jared presented spread over his comforter. His hand ran up the bulge of Jared’s bicep, over his shoulder, down the firm mound of his pectoral. Jensen’s mouth quirked for a second when he paused to tease Jared with a tight pinch to the peaked tawny nipple and Jared hissed.
Jensen dipped his head to take the bud into his mouth, watching Jared’s face through his long lashes. A throaty sound of pleasure rumbled from the man beneath him and the thought that he could easily become addicted to Jared’s noises flicked through his mind dragging a sharp pang through his chest as he realized he would never have the chance. Closing his eyes against the pain, Jensen smoothed his hand over Jared’s ribs and he teased his fingertips over the well-defined ridges of Jared’s abdomen. His mouth followed, tongue rising and dipping with the contours until he reached Jared’s bellybutton. His tongue swirled around the indentation, then he let it lightly tickle into the hair just below, following the trail to Jared’s waistband.
The muscles beneath Jensen’s tongue twitched and contracted, he looked up into Jared’s lust-blown hazel eyes and Jared nodded his permission to the unspoken question. Jensen’s fingers trembled minutely as they fell on the button of Jared’s fly. He could see the hard outline of his friend’s erection and though his mouth watered for it, baring Jared’s cock was the point from which there could be no turning back. His hands retreated.
“Jen, please,” Jared whispered. That nickname Jensen only allowed from Jared, and even then it was rarely loosed without some argument. Jensen swallowed and took a breath and then let his hand creep over Jared’s knee, traveling the long length of Jared’s thigh before pressing over the line of his hard cock. Jared moaned, hips punching forward into Jensen’s touch and the spell that had held Jensen back shattered. Hot, burning need seared away his nervous fear and he squeezed Jared through his jeans just to hear that sound again.
Blunt fingers worked buttons through eyelets confidently and Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes again as he pulled back the fabric of Jared’s jeans into a wide “v”. “Shit,” Jensen cursed when he saw the wet spot at the head of Jared’s dick, which had crept dangerously close to the waistband of his underwear. Jensen smirked to himself at the “Saxx” logo printed on the band, fully aware of all the rumors about Jared’s endowment. He leaned down, placing his full lips over the head and breathed out a sultry, thick-wet breath into the fabric. Jared whimpered above him and he took a few moments to tease his friend’s cock through the increasingly damp cloth.
Jensen curled his fingers into the waistband of Jared’s jeans and urged the taller man’s hips off the bed. His thumbs tracked around the inside of the band until they met at his spine, then back around toward his hips as he tugged the heavy material down. Once the denim cleared his ass, Jared dropped back down to the bed and his hands joined Jensen’s in removing his jeans that were then tossed to the floor. Jared lay back, wrapping his hands around Jensen’s neck, drawing him into a kiss and pulling him down against Jared’s broad chest. Jensen’s fair skin slid over Jared’s sweat-glistened torso and they both moaned at the contact.
Jensen worked a hand between them, reaching into Jared’s underwear to wrap around his cock. Once he held the weight of it in his hand, Jensen needed to lay eyes on it so he tore himself away from the kiss and sat back on his heels between Jared’s spread legs. His eyes trailed over Jared’s body one more time before he pulled the boxer-briefs down in one swift but careful motion. He tossed them to the floor with the jeans and turned his attention back to the now completely naked form of his best friend. His eyes traveled the miles up Jared’s muscled legs to devour the site of his hard, leaking cock, now laying against the ridges of his perfectly toned abdomen.
“Shit,” Jensen repeated in awe. It wasn’t like he had no idea Jared would be packing, but no rumor or brief locker-room glance could have prepared him for the reality.
A wide smile spread across Jared’s pink lips as he snickered at Jensen’s reaction. “You said that already.”
Jensen’s surprised gaze found Jared’s smile and he shook his head. “Damn, Jared.” Jensen wrapped a hand around the shaft just below the head and he lifted it away from Jared’s stomach, letting his thumb sweep over the head. His friend’s smile faltered as Jensen slowly lowered his mouth towards Jared’s prick. Knowing exactly the effect his plush lips had, Jensen gently rubbed the leaking head of Jared’s dick over his lips until they were shiny with precome.
“Shit,” Jared breathed out as he took in the visual of Jensen’s kiss-swollen lips glistening with his own fluid less than an inch from his aching cock. His head fell back and eyes rolled into his skull when Jensen sucked the mushroom-crown into the heat of his mouth. Jensen made a pleased sound as he slid Jared’s cock deep into his mouth.
Jared lifted his head to look down the length of his body. “Oh, fuck,” he swore at the sight that greeted him. Jensen’s gorgeous mouth was stretched wide around the hard shaft of his cock and his darkened green eyes were watching Jared through hooded lids. Jensen began jacking the hand around the base of Jared’s dick as his mouth worked as much of the length as he could fit into his mouth. Jared fisted his hands in the comforter as he fought the need to fuck into his best friend’s glorious mouth.
When he felt the crest of an impending orgasm, Jared pushed at Jensen’s shoulder. “Stop, ‘m gonna-fuck! Jen, stop!” Jensen pulled off Jared’s dick with an obscene sound made downright filthy by the accompanying sight of a thick string of saliva and precome stretching from Jared’s cockhead to Jensen’s swollen, slick lips. Jared squeezed his own hand around the base of his prick to keep from coming as a fresh string of curses fell from his lips.
Jared growled and used Jensen’s surprise to flip their positions. Once Jensen lay beneath him, Jared attacked his button and zipper, quickly pulling both jeans and boxers down Jensen’s beautifully bowed legs. He threw the offending articles across the room and turned back to Jensen. The throbbing of his cock took a momentary backseat while Jared’s breath was drawn ragged by the vision Jensen presented naked and waiting for him.
Jared’s eyes traveled up the gently outwardly curving lines of Jensen’s strong legs, he let his hands tickle over the blonde hair for a second before his long fingers wrapped around Jensen’s ankles, thumbs caressing his instep. Freckles dotted the entire length of Jensen’s body and Jared followed their patchy trail to the rise and fall of his friend’s gently toned stomach. He slid his hands up Jensen’s legs, over his ribs up the strongly muscled arms and shoulders and then over his pecs. A mischievous glint lit up his swirling hazel irises as he pinched Jensen’s nipples.
Jensen twisted away from the teasing pressure as he grasped Jared’s wrists in his hands. Jared took the signal; he gently pulled his hands free to pet down Jensen’s sides as he allowed his eyes to take in the last part of his friend’s anatomy that had remained a mystery. Jensen’s fat cock stood out from a nest of rusty blonde curls, flushed red and leaking. Jared gripped it in his hand, sliding his hand up over the head first to gather enough precome to ease the glide.
He watched Jensen’s face as he stroked his cock, breath punched from his lungs as he watched the trust and love he’d always seen in those emerald depths transform, deepen. Jared’s hand stilled, suddenly unsure about what this night would do to Jensen. “J, I-I don’t know if….” Jared took a shaky breath at the worried crease in Jensen’s brow. “These nights…they never seem to go to plan. I don’t want to hurt you more if-“ Jensen sat up, smashing his lips into Jared’s.
“Don’t care, Jay. I know….I know what this is…and what it isn’t.” Jensen slotted his lips over Jared’s again, sliding mellow and soft. “Please?’ he whispered. A tear rolled down Jensen’s cheek, the saline tickling Jared’s tongue when it slid into the space between their lips. Jared squeezed his eyes shut, wrapped a hand around Jensen’s head and pulled him into a deeper kiss. It was all the answer Jensen needed as he eased back onto the comforter, guiding Jared’s hand back to his prick.
A few twisting strokes of Jared’s huge hand had Jensen bucking into his grip and whimpering out, “More.” Jared bent his head, taking the red, leaking tip into his mouth. Jensen cursed and moaned at the wet heat of Jared’s mouth and between the broken words and breathy noises Jared made out a single word. “Fingers.” Jared paused, drawing Jensen’s dick out of his mouth and looking at Jensen in question.
“Please, Jay.” Jensen’s face was flushed red and it seemed to take every bit of courage he had left to make the request clearer. “Wa-want your fingers…in me.” Jared’s cock pulsed out a fresh clear bead of fluid at just the thought.
“Fuck, Jen. You sure?” Jensen nodded emphatically. “I’m gonna need some lu-“
“Top drawer,” Jensen said nodding toward the nightstand. Jared opened the drawer and looked in to find a bottle of lube next to a blue silicone cock and a harness. He turned back to Jensen arching an eyebrow in question. Jensen shrugged and tried to hide his blushing face as he mumbled out, “Danneel likes to…” He trailed off unable to finish as a spike of pain accompanied the flash of embarrassment.
Jared saw the flare of pain flicker through Jensen’s green eyes and immediately wanted it gone. He shrugged, flashing his dimples at Jensen as he grabbed the small bottle. “Never knew you were so kinky, Ackles.” He teased with a wink.
“Fuck you, dude,” Jensen said with a smack to Jared’s shoulder.
Jared teased a slick finger over Jensen’s hole wrenching a gasp from the older man. “Thought you wanted me to fuck you.” Jared’s voice dropped an octave and his arched eyebrow matched the lascivious curl to his lip. Jensen groaned and nodded, pushing his hips back into the pressure of Jared’s finger.
Jared nibbled his way down Jensen’s neck, then sucked and bit his way back up the other side as his finger continued to trace maddening circles around Jensen’s hole. Occasionally he teased the very tip of the digit into the center, only to bring it right back out.
“Jared,” Jensen’s tone was a whine, but the word came out mid-moan and the combined effect wrecked Jared. He slowly pushed his long middle finger all the way into Jensen.
“Ohfuckyes,” Jensen breathed out. Jared fucked his finger all the way in and out of Jensen’s gripping heat before sinking it in as deeply as he could and wriggling the digit around as Jensen cried out a series of almost-words. Jared crooked his finger forward until he felt the pad brush over the walnut shape he was searching out. He pressed into it and Jensen arched off the bed calling Jared’s name. On the next press in, Jared added his index finger and was rewarded with a very satisfied sound from deep in Jensen’s throat. He twisted and stretched his fingers as they thrust in and out of Jensen’s ass.
“More, please, fuck, Jared. ‘Mready, c’mon.” Jared took the tip of Jensen’s leaking cock into his mouth, tongue teasing around the flared edge as he pressed three fingers into Jensen’s tight channel. Jensen’s hands flew into Jared’s hair tugging and twisting the locks in his fists as he writhed under Jared’s lips a steady stream of broken curses and breathy grunts falling from his lips.
Jared felt Jensen’s fingers tighten in his hair, pulling at his scalp almost painfully as he tried to bring Jared’s mouth off his cock. “Stop, stop…gonna come.” Jensen pulled Jared’s pink puffy lips up to his and kissed him deeply, moaning at the taste of his own cock on his friend’s tongue. He pulled back and looked into Jared’s eyes. “I’m ready, Jare.”
Jared found a condom in the same drawer that held the lube and he tore open the package getting ready to roll it on when Jensen’s hands on his stilled his movement. “I-I’m clean…only been with…” he swallowed a lump, not able to say her name in this moment. “You?” he asked.
Jared nodded. “You sure, Jensen?”
“I’m sure. If…if we only get this night,” Jensen took a deep steadying breath. “I want everything…all of you, Jay.”
Jared searched Jensen’s deep warm-jade gaze and then nodded slowly and tossed the condom into the garbage still inside the wrapper. He poured a few more drops of lube onto his fingers and slicked his cock. Jensen’s pupils widened even further as he watched Jared stroke over his long cock and he laid back against the pillows.
Holding Jared’s stare, Jensen let his legs slowly fall open again, exposing his stretched hole to the younger man’s hungry eyes.
“Fuck, Jen. Beautiful like this.” Jensen blushed deeper red but didn’t look away as Jared knelt up between his bowed legs.
“Just need to be clear….you sure you want this?” Jensen nodded slowly, lust-dark gaze burning into Jared. “Ev…even if it’s just…just this-“
“I’m sure Jared.” Jensen’s voice was steady but Jared didn’t miss the passing twinge of pain in the olivine irises. “Even if I only get this once, I need you tonight.” Jared bent to place the barest caress of a kiss to Jensen’s lips.
With a single nod of his head, Jared rested on his knees and one hand as the other hand guided his cock to Jensen’s entrance. He pushed the head inside the first ring of muscle, then balanced his weight over Jensen on both hands as he brought his lips to Jensen’s for another kiss.
Their lips slid lazy over each other as Jared slowly, so very slowly, pushed every inch of his aching cock into Jensen’s needy hole. When he bottomed out and his balls brushed against Jensen’s ass, they both moaned into the kiss as it turned heated again.
Jared drew back, pulling out all but the flared head of his cock before thrusting back in, faster than the first time, but still slow and easy. Jensen’s hands gripped Jared’s back as Jared’s hips rocked into his in a deliciously unhurried pace. Jared began to grind in a pattern and Jensen cried out when his cock dragged over the pleasure-sweet spot deep inside him.
Large hands wrapped around Jensen’s hips, as Jared balanced and adjusted his thrusts to a steady unrelenting assault on Jensen’s prostate.
“Oh god, Jared. Yes! Oh fuck.” Jensen’s short nails dug into the skin of his back, leaving bloody half-moons, and Jensen knew he shouldn’t, but he delighted in marking the man that was his, if only in this moment.
“Fuck, Jen…so tight.” Jared hummed as his hips began to pick up speed.
Jensen grunted out a disagreement. “You’re just fucking huge.”
Jared chuckled and then whispered into Jensen’s ear darkly, “You complaining?”
Jensen nipped at Jared’s shoulder. “No.” Jensen rolled his hips into Jared’s thrusts punching a deep groan from Jared. “Fuck, Jay. Harder. Wanna feel it. ‘M not gonna break.”
Jared reached under Jensen, grabbing his shoulders to hold him in place as he fucked into him hard and fast. Each snap of Jared’s hips jolted Jensen’s prostate forcing him closer and closer to coming. He started to reach a hand between them when Jared once again adjusted his angle until his cock slid over his sweet spot on every movement in and out. He felt the heavy heat building in his spine, drawing his balls up and knew he was about to come on Jared’s cock alone without a single touch to his own aching prick.
“God, Jensen….fuck! Hope you’re…you close?”
“Fuck yes. So close, Jay, so fucking close.”
Jared covered Jensen’s mouth with his and on his next thrust he drove right into Jensen’s prostate. The kiss and that final stroke sent Jensen into an orgasm so strong his back bowed off the bed and he screamed Jared’s name. Jared held on tight as Jensen’s body bucked beneath him and his hole fluttered and clenched around Jared’s cock. With Jensen’s name on his lips, Jared thrust deep into his best friend and came, wave after wave of pleasure shooting through every nerve in his body.
Jensen reached up, sinking his hands into Jared’s long hair and pulling him into a kiss. He whispered something just before their mouths connected. It sounded like two maybe three words that Jared missed with the buzz of pleasure thrumming through his body. Jared collapsed onto Jensen’s welcoming body, still kissing his beautiful mouth.
They lay entangled for several minutes, Jensen running his hands up and down the muscled contours of Jared’s back as they traded lazy, sweet kisses, until they were just lying in the circle of each other’s arms. Jared moved over, taking his weight off Jensen, even though the other man wasn’t complaining. He rested there, tracing patterns over Jensen’s chest until the weight of the air grew heavy around them again.
Jared rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed, and almost immediately felt Jensen’s hand on his wrist. “I don’t want you to leave.” A simple statement, a request delivered in a voice stripped of any strength. Jared nodded and laid back down next to his best friend, hand resting on his own belly as he faced Jensen’s bleary, still-red eyes. “Will….will you hold my hand?” Jared’s heart cracked open all over again at the way Jensen’s normally strong timber had been reduced to a tiny pleading tone.
He turned onto his side to face Jensen and his hand slid across the sheets to find Jensen’s, threading their fingers together and bringing their clasped hands to his lips to kiss Jensen’s knuckles.
Jensen’s lips curled in solemn smile. “I’m not crazy, Jar, it’s clear this ain’t ….but…stay with me?”
“ ‘Course, J. Not going anywhere.”
They fell asleep hands clasped between their bodies, facing each other.
* * * * *
When Jensen woke the next morning, the bed was empty. The house was still empty and his heart was still broken. He rolled over to bury his face in the pillow Jared had rested on and he breathed in. Engulfed by Jared’s smell, Jensen realized who it was he missed deep into his soul. It crashed over him in waves until he whispered the words against a tear-soaked, Jared-scented pillowcase. “All I need.”
.
Author: deansdirtybb
Pairing: J2
Rating: NC-17
Words: 5664
Warnings: Sad fic with no happy ending, oral, fingering, anal, bareback, infidelity
Disclaimer: This is not real, the names used belong to real people, but I mean them no disrespect with this work of fiction. None of the events written here have ever really happened, and I hope that no tragedy like this ever comes to any of them.
Summary: When Jensen comes home to an empty house, he calls on his best friend to help him deal with the pain.
AN #1: I’ve been obsessed with Sam Smith’s latest song “Stay With Me” and the other day when I was listening I was hit with this plot bunny. This is the first J2 fic I’ve ever written (though I’ve been reading J2 for years, longer than Wincest actually), and also the first time I’ve written a fic from a song. I’ve borrowed the lyrics, twisted them a little and you’ll find some of them scattered throughout the fic. I highly recommend listening to it as you read. Link to Song.
AN#2: Thanks to katstark for the beta, you’re amazing and I shudder to think what my writing would look like without your help. Also hugs and thanks to sleepypercy for the cheer-leading as I pieced this one together.
Feel free to leave me comments...I love when you love me ;)
Stay with Me
Jensen immediately knew something was wrong when he opened his front door to silence. He stepped into the foyer and the house felt empty. Slowly and carefully he set his duffel on the floor as gingerly as if he was trying to avoid a landmine. He looked into the kitchen and living room; he couldn’t place it but the icy panic of something missing crawled up his spine and across his skin.
“Danni?” he called out tentatively as he crossed the kitchen. “Danneel?” And then his eyes caught on the cream-color of paper against the dark granite of the counter. It was covered in writing and the only thing he could make out from here was that it was his wife’s loopy cursive. “Danni?” his voice wavered this time and he knew she wouldn’t answer even before his shaky legs carried him to the letter.
Jensen’s mouth went dry as he skimmed through the short letter, his brain catching on phrases along the way but still not really processing the message. “…sorry…” “…not working anymore…” “…both knew this was coming…” The last sentence to catch his eye was “I’ve taken JJ with me.” The page slipped from his numb fingers, floating to the floor calm as an autumn leaf while Jensen hyperventilated above.
He collapsed into one of the barstools by the counter. He scrubbed his hands up his face, into his hair and then back down, bringing them together in a prayer-like pose in front of his lips as the tears started to slip from his eyes. He didn’t understand. His wife and baby were gone, and he didn’t understand. Maybe things weren’t perfect, but he loved Danneel, and adored his daughter. And now they were gone? The last word brought a hiccupping sob from his throat as the real terror and agony set in.
Almost without volition, his hand plunged into his pocket. Drawing out his phone, he flicked his thumb across the screen a few times. Dialing this number when he was hurt and scared was so automatic he didn’t need his malfunctioning brain to make the decision. As the line began ringing he brought the phone to his ear.
* * * * *
Jared’s phone vibrated in his pocket and when he saw the name on the display he smiled as he answered. “Hey J, I was just about-“ Jared cut himself off when the only sound he could hear coming across the line was crying, sobbing actually.
“J-jared,” Jensen managed to choke out between sobs. If Jared didn’t know his best friend so well he wouldn’t believe the broken person behind that voice was Jensen.
Jared sat ramrod straight in his chair. “Jensen? What’s wrong? What happened?”
There was more crying, then a gasping breath before Jensen attempted to speak again. “Sh-shh-she….a-and…JJ-“ his daughter’s name on his lips reduced Jensen to another round of wrenching sobs broken only by gasps for air.
“Jensen? J?” No answer but the repeating sounds of his best friend crying. “J, try to breathe, buddy. I’m coming over. Right now. Be there in a few minutes. Ok? Just, don’t move. Hang on, man. I’m coming.”
Jensen nodded into the phone even though Jared couldn’t see him, then managed to breathe out a simple “’Kay,” before hanging up.
Jared jumped in his truck and prayed there would be no cops along the way as he sped across town, immediately glad he hadn’t left L.A. yet. He reached Jensen’s house in less than half the time it should have taken. He punched the code into the front gate and pulled his truck up to the front door, practically leaping from his vehicle to the stoop.
He threw the door open and called out for his friend as he made his way through the house. He found Jensen perched on the bed in the master bedroom. The older man was no longer crying, but his eyes were red, his fair skin even paler and his hair mussed from the habit of rubbing over his face and scalp that Jared always saw when Jensen was upset or frustrated.
Jared carefully crossed the room, movements quick but gentle as he approached his friend. He lowered his tall frame to sit on the bed next to Jensen, and even when the mattress dipped beside him Jensen didn’t move or speak. Jared took a deep breath, not sure where to start. He still had no idea what had happened to Jensen, but was afraid asking would spark a new round of tears and in all their years as friends Jared had never heard Jensen in that state, not even as Dean. Jared wrapped an arm around his friend and drew him closer.
Jensen collapsed against Jared’s side, quiet tears streamed down his cheeks as the heat from his friend’s body warmed him. Just having Jared here gave him comfort. He raised his hand, pushing a crumpled sheet of paper into Jared’s hand. Jared accepted it and smoothed it open to read it. His hazel eyes widened as he worked his way through the letter and by the end Jensen could see tears in his friend’s eyes.
“Jensen, I…I’m so sorry, man. I had no idea…” Jared looked down into Jensen’s eyes. Something in the familiar mossy depths startled him, an intensity in the gaze that he didn’t dare name. Jared swallowed. “I thought things were fine.”
Jensen shook his head, unable to explain Danneel’s actions to Jared any more than he’d been able to make sense of them for himself. He looked down at the floor as he felt his emotions begin to swell and overwhelm him again. He felt the heat of Jared’s big hand rubbing over his back as he just let Jensen weep.
The crying and uneven breathing smoothed out again, and Jensen raised his head slowly until he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror over the dresser. He huffed at himself, “This is not a good look.” He smiled weakly at Jared, “I need to get control of myself.” He attempted a deep breath which only ended in a ragged sigh.
Jared pulled Jensen into a one-armed hug. “It’s ok. You’re wife took off with your kid. You’re allowed to be emotional, J.”
“Not like I’ll never see them again.” Jensen’s face grimaced in a clear tell that he was once-again fighting not to cry. Jared squeezed his shoulder and Jensen let his head fall forward again, mumbling something that Jared couldn’t quite make out from behind his hands.
Jared sighed and pulled Jensen against in him in a real hug, wrapping his long arms around his best friend and squeezing tight. “Jensen, of course you’ll see them again. But right now it hurts. That’s ok.” Jared felt Jensen’s body shake and heard sniffling in the crook of his neck as Jensen buried his face for a new round of sobs. Jared let it happen, leaving Jensen’s head resting against him even as the tears soaked through his t-shirt. His hands gently rubbed up and down Jensen’s back until the sobbing slowed to tears and then tapered off completely.
Jared’s heart broke for his friend; he couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he came home to find the house empty, Genevieve gone with his boys and very little explanation. Without thinking about it, he placed a soft kiss to the crown of Jensen’s head. He felt Jensen’s arm snake around his waist and he was pulled tighter against the other man as Jensen’s breathing evened out once more.
Jensen focused on the comfort of his friend; Jared’s body was warm pressed against his, strong arms encircled him and he felt protected. He was sure the pain would still be there in the morning, but for now he was done feeling it. He breathed in deep and Jared’s familiar scent invaded his senses. Jensen was used to the smell and it always felt like home; no matter what city they were in for filming or conventions, Jared was a constant. In a moment where everything about his life that had made sense was suddenly turned on its head, Jared was the same. Jensen pushed his nose further into the crook of Jared’s neck wanting to drown in the relief and security of that scent.
Jared felt Jensen’s head burrow deeper into him and he squeezed him in another hug, letting Jensen pull whatever meager comfort he could from the simple embrace. If he couldn’t fix this for his friend, at least he could give him this one thing.
As Jensen allowed his nose to forage further in search of the soothing effect of Jared’s smell, his lips bumped against the warm skin of Jared’s throat and a hot spark shot through him, registering low in his belly. He flashed back to that first convention in Rome, both he and Jared a little too drunk, a little too tired, and so far away from everything they knew. Hot kisses that never got a chance to get carried away before they guiltily pulled back from each other. And suddenly some of Danneel’s words made sense. He pushed the realization and the accompanying tangle of uncomfortable feelings down, and let his lips purse against Jared’s skin to leave a kiss just above the mole that always peeked from Jared’s collar.
Jared felt Jensen’s lips press against his skin, knew his best friend had just kissed his neck, knew how he should react, but he was frozen. He could not make his muscles obey any command to work and his brain was stuck on a loop replaying the sensation of Jensen’s soft lips against his neck with the long-suppressed memory of drunken kisses on another continent. He felt a hot puff of breath against the skin Jensen had just kissed and Jensen’s hand bunched the material of the front of his shirt as he leaned the slightest bit back, tipping his head up toward Jared’s face.
Their eyes locked as the scant inches between their parted lips disappeared and they connected. Both closed their eyes as their lips slowly moved together, Jensen capturing Jared’s upper lip and Jared gently sucking Jensen’s full bottom lip into his mouth. Jensen felt Jared’s heart pounding beneath his hand and knew the organ in his own chest beat out a similar rhythm. Wrong or not, he needed this, needed Jared, right now, and the imminent rejection petrified him as they pulled back.
“Jensen.” The name punched from Jared’s lips, jagged and pained.
“I know, Jared.” Jensen swallowed against the tears and the dread and he looked into Jared’s tilted, soft eyes. “I know this never works…but…you could…lay with me? So it doesn’t hurt. I just-just don’t want to hurt for now. Just for now?”
Jared closed his eyes against the sting that threatened to spill over into crying. All the things they’d never acknowledged long enough to reject now swirled between them. Jared could no more deny his attraction to Jensen than he could stop his heart from beating in his chest. He opened his eyes to find bright green-gold irises caught between pain and hope as Jensen waited for his answer.
“Jensen…I’m-I’m no good at one-night stands.”
Jensen leaned his forehead against Jared’s. “I…I just need….” Jensen dragged in a breath. “I’m just a man, Jay.” He closed his eyes as he whispered, “Please?”
Though every single part of Jared’s brain told him every single thing about this was a bad idea, his lips slid against Jensen’s as he replied, “Just tonight.” Jared felt Jensen nod and he took a deep breath as he surrendered to every unspoken desire that churned between them.
Jensen’s hand traced up Jared’s chest around his neck and up into the unruly locks of his hair as he claimed Jared’s pink lips in the first of a string of ever-increasingly eager kisses. Their lips parted and tongues met, Jensen’s hand tightened in Jared’s hair, and Jared’s hands cupped Jensen’s stubbled jaw.
Jensen couldn’t tear his lips from Jared’s. It was like every kiss healed him for the barest fraction of a second before tearing him into pieces all over again and he clung to Jared taking kiss after kiss. Tentative hands found their way down Jared’s chest, resting on his waist as Jensen let his fingers trace over the skin beneath. Jared placed his hands over Jensen’s, rubbing over them for a moment before breaking the kiss to lean back and pull his shirt off over his head.
It wasn’t that Jensen had never seen Jared without a shirt before, but something about his friend’s naked skin on display before him now drove home the reality of what they were about to do. His hand had the slightest hint at a tremor as he reached out to place it over Jared’s heart. Jared leaned forward and kissed him again as he grasped the hem of Jensen’s shirt and tugged it up until Jensen pulled away from the kiss to let him remove it. He dropped it on the floor with his own shirt and looked up to take in the sight of Jensen shirtless waiting for his touch.
Jared traced a finger over Jensen’s freckled collarbone, smiling at Jensen’s sharp intake of breath. Jensen never took credit for just how gorgeous his body was; strong arms, rippling shoulders and a gently muscled torso, all covered in tiny brown flecks. Jared lowered his head, laying a line of kisses over the path his finger had just taken and when his mouth finally made it to the junction between Jensen’s neck and shoulder, he sucked the flesh into his mouth.
Jensen moaned, hands pushing into Jared’s hair until his fists clutched at the chestnut strands desperately. Jared’s hands smoothed up Jensen’s flanks and his lips found Jensen’s ear again, shushed him gently. “ ‘Sokay, J. I got ya. Shhh.” Jared placed his lips over Jensen’s in a tenderly heated kiss as he lowered him gently onto the bed. He balanced on his arms over Jensen, kissing him as he brought his own long legs into the bed.
Propped on all fours, he leaned into kiss after kiss until he felt Jensen’s strong hands sliding down his back; there was the briefest moment of hesitation at his waist and then thick fingers grasped the globes of Jared’s ass and he moaned into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen arched up as he urged Jared down until their groins met, sending a rush of blood to cocks that were already more than half hard. A curse tumbled out of the kiss and Jared wasn’t sure if it had come from him or Jensen.
Bending his knee to get his foot underneath him, Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared’s back and rolled until he had 6’4” of hard, tanned muscle spread beneath him. His tongue unconsciously snuck across his plumped, kiss-ruddy lips as he took in the sight Jared presented spread over his comforter. His hand ran up the bulge of Jared’s bicep, over his shoulder, down the firm mound of his pectoral. Jensen’s mouth quirked for a second when he paused to tease Jared with a tight pinch to the peaked tawny nipple and Jared hissed.
Jensen dipped his head to take the bud into his mouth, watching Jared’s face through his long lashes. A throaty sound of pleasure rumbled from the man beneath him and the thought that he could easily become addicted to Jared’s noises flicked through his mind dragging a sharp pang through his chest as he realized he would never have the chance. Closing his eyes against the pain, Jensen smoothed his hand over Jared’s ribs and he teased his fingertips over the well-defined ridges of Jared’s abdomen. His mouth followed, tongue rising and dipping with the contours until he reached Jared’s bellybutton. His tongue swirled around the indentation, then he let it lightly tickle into the hair just below, following the trail to Jared’s waistband.
The muscles beneath Jensen’s tongue twitched and contracted, he looked up into Jared’s lust-blown hazel eyes and Jared nodded his permission to the unspoken question. Jensen’s fingers trembled minutely as they fell on the button of Jared’s fly. He could see the hard outline of his friend’s erection and though his mouth watered for it, baring Jared’s cock was the point from which there could be no turning back. His hands retreated.
“Jen, please,” Jared whispered. That nickname Jensen only allowed from Jared, and even then it was rarely loosed without some argument. Jensen swallowed and took a breath and then let his hand creep over Jared’s knee, traveling the long length of Jared’s thigh before pressing over the line of his hard cock. Jared moaned, hips punching forward into Jensen’s touch and the spell that had held Jensen back shattered. Hot, burning need seared away his nervous fear and he squeezed Jared through his jeans just to hear that sound again.
Blunt fingers worked buttons through eyelets confidently and Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes again as he pulled back the fabric of Jared’s jeans into a wide “v”. “Shit,” Jensen cursed when he saw the wet spot at the head of Jared’s dick, which had crept dangerously close to the waistband of his underwear. Jensen smirked to himself at the “Saxx” logo printed on the band, fully aware of all the rumors about Jared’s endowment. He leaned down, placing his full lips over the head and breathed out a sultry, thick-wet breath into the fabric. Jared whimpered above him and he took a few moments to tease his friend’s cock through the increasingly damp cloth.
Jensen curled his fingers into the waistband of Jared’s jeans and urged the taller man’s hips off the bed. His thumbs tracked around the inside of the band until they met at his spine, then back around toward his hips as he tugged the heavy material down. Once the denim cleared his ass, Jared dropped back down to the bed and his hands joined Jensen’s in removing his jeans that were then tossed to the floor. Jared lay back, wrapping his hands around Jensen’s neck, drawing him into a kiss and pulling him down against Jared’s broad chest. Jensen’s fair skin slid over Jared’s sweat-glistened torso and they both moaned at the contact.
Jensen worked a hand between them, reaching into Jared’s underwear to wrap around his cock. Once he held the weight of it in his hand, Jensen needed to lay eyes on it so he tore himself away from the kiss and sat back on his heels between Jared’s spread legs. His eyes trailed over Jared’s body one more time before he pulled the boxer-briefs down in one swift but careful motion. He tossed them to the floor with the jeans and turned his attention back to the now completely naked form of his best friend. His eyes traveled the miles up Jared’s muscled legs to devour the site of his hard, leaking cock, now laying against the ridges of his perfectly toned abdomen.
“Shit,” Jensen repeated in awe. It wasn’t like he had no idea Jared would be packing, but no rumor or brief locker-room glance could have prepared him for the reality.
A wide smile spread across Jared’s pink lips as he snickered at Jensen’s reaction. “You said that already.”
Jensen’s surprised gaze found Jared’s smile and he shook his head. “Damn, Jared.” Jensen wrapped a hand around the shaft just below the head and he lifted it away from Jared’s stomach, letting his thumb sweep over the head. His friend’s smile faltered as Jensen slowly lowered his mouth towards Jared’s prick. Knowing exactly the effect his plush lips had, Jensen gently rubbed the leaking head of Jared’s dick over his lips until they were shiny with precome.
“Shit,” Jared breathed out as he took in the visual of Jensen’s kiss-swollen lips glistening with his own fluid less than an inch from his aching cock. His head fell back and eyes rolled into his skull when Jensen sucked the mushroom-crown into the heat of his mouth. Jensen made a pleased sound as he slid Jared’s cock deep into his mouth.
Jared lifted his head to look down the length of his body. “Oh, fuck,” he swore at the sight that greeted him. Jensen’s gorgeous mouth was stretched wide around the hard shaft of his cock and his darkened green eyes were watching Jared through hooded lids. Jensen began jacking the hand around the base of Jared’s dick as his mouth worked as much of the length as he could fit into his mouth. Jared fisted his hands in the comforter as he fought the need to fuck into his best friend’s glorious mouth.
When he felt the crest of an impending orgasm, Jared pushed at Jensen’s shoulder. “Stop, ‘m gonna-fuck! Jen, stop!” Jensen pulled off Jared’s dick with an obscene sound made downright filthy by the accompanying sight of a thick string of saliva and precome stretching from Jared’s cockhead to Jensen’s swollen, slick lips. Jared squeezed his own hand around the base of his prick to keep from coming as a fresh string of curses fell from his lips.
Jared growled and used Jensen’s surprise to flip their positions. Once Jensen lay beneath him, Jared attacked his button and zipper, quickly pulling both jeans and boxers down Jensen’s beautifully bowed legs. He threw the offending articles across the room and turned back to Jensen. The throbbing of his cock took a momentary backseat while Jared’s breath was drawn ragged by the vision Jensen presented naked and waiting for him.
Jared’s eyes traveled up the gently outwardly curving lines of Jensen’s strong legs, he let his hands tickle over the blonde hair for a second before his long fingers wrapped around Jensen’s ankles, thumbs caressing his instep. Freckles dotted the entire length of Jensen’s body and Jared followed their patchy trail to the rise and fall of his friend’s gently toned stomach. He slid his hands up Jensen’s legs, over his ribs up the strongly muscled arms and shoulders and then over his pecs. A mischievous glint lit up his swirling hazel irises as he pinched Jensen’s nipples.
Jensen twisted away from the teasing pressure as he grasped Jared’s wrists in his hands. Jared took the signal; he gently pulled his hands free to pet down Jensen’s sides as he allowed his eyes to take in the last part of his friend’s anatomy that had remained a mystery. Jensen’s fat cock stood out from a nest of rusty blonde curls, flushed red and leaking. Jared gripped it in his hand, sliding his hand up over the head first to gather enough precome to ease the glide.
He watched Jensen’s face as he stroked his cock, breath punched from his lungs as he watched the trust and love he’d always seen in those emerald depths transform, deepen. Jared’s hand stilled, suddenly unsure about what this night would do to Jensen. “J, I-I don’t know if….” Jared took a shaky breath at the worried crease in Jensen’s brow. “These nights…they never seem to go to plan. I don’t want to hurt you more if-“ Jensen sat up, smashing his lips into Jared’s.
“Don’t care, Jay. I know….I know what this is…and what it isn’t.” Jensen slotted his lips over Jared’s again, sliding mellow and soft. “Please?’ he whispered. A tear rolled down Jensen’s cheek, the saline tickling Jared’s tongue when it slid into the space between their lips. Jared squeezed his eyes shut, wrapped a hand around Jensen’s head and pulled him into a deeper kiss. It was all the answer Jensen needed as he eased back onto the comforter, guiding Jared’s hand back to his prick.
A few twisting strokes of Jared’s huge hand had Jensen bucking into his grip and whimpering out, “More.” Jared bent his head, taking the red, leaking tip into his mouth. Jensen cursed and moaned at the wet heat of Jared’s mouth and between the broken words and breathy noises Jared made out a single word. “Fingers.” Jared paused, drawing Jensen’s dick out of his mouth and looking at Jensen in question.
“Please, Jay.” Jensen’s face was flushed red and it seemed to take every bit of courage he had left to make the request clearer. “Wa-want your fingers…in me.” Jared’s cock pulsed out a fresh clear bead of fluid at just the thought.
“Fuck, Jen. You sure?” Jensen nodded emphatically. “I’m gonna need some lu-“
“Top drawer,” Jensen said nodding toward the nightstand. Jared opened the drawer and looked in to find a bottle of lube next to a blue silicone cock and a harness. He turned back to Jensen arching an eyebrow in question. Jensen shrugged and tried to hide his blushing face as he mumbled out, “Danneel likes to…” He trailed off unable to finish as a spike of pain accompanied the flash of embarrassment.
Jared saw the flare of pain flicker through Jensen’s green eyes and immediately wanted it gone. He shrugged, flashing his dimples at Jensen as he grabbed the small bottle. “Never knew you were so kinky, Ackles.” He teased with a wink.
“Fuck you, dude,” Jensen said with a smack to Jared’s shoulder.
Jared teased a slick finger over Jensen’s hole wrenching a gasp from the older man. “Thought you wanted me to fuck you.” Jared’s voice dropped an octave and his arched eyebrow matched the lascivious curl to his lip. Jensen groaned and nodded, pushing his hips back into the pressure of Jared’s finger.
Jared nibbled his way down Jensen’s neck, then sucked and bit his way back up the other side as his finger continued to trace maddening circles around Jensen’s hole. Occasionally he teased the very tip of the digit into the center, only to bring it right back out.
“Jared,” Jensen’s tone was a whine, but the word came out mid-moan and the combined effect wrecked Jared. He slowly pushed his long middle finger all the way into Jensen.
“Ohfuckyes,” Jensen breathed out. Jared fucked his finger all the way in and out of Jensen’s gripping heat before sinking it in as deeply as he could and wriggling the digit around as Jensen cried out a series of almost-words. Jared crooked his finger forward until he felt the pad brush over the walnut shape he was searching out. He pressed into it and Jensen arched off the bed calling Jared’s name. On the next press in, Jared added his index finger and was rewarded with a very satisfied sound from deep in Jensen’s throat. He twisted and stretched his fingers as they thrust in and out of Jensen’s ass.
“More, please, fuck, Jared. ‘Mready, c’mon.” Jared took the tip of Jensen’s leaking cock into his mouth, tongue teasing around the flared edge as he pressed three fingers into Jensen’s tight channel. Jensen’s hands flew into Jared’s hair tugging and twisting the locks in his fists as he writhed under Jared’s lips a steady stream of broken curses and breathy grunts falling from his lips.
Jared felt Jensen’s fingers tighten in his hair, pulling at his scalp almost painfully as he tried to bring Jared’s mouth off his cock. “Stop, stop…gonna come.” Jensen pulled Jared’s pink puffy lips up to his and kissed him deeply, moaning at the taste of his own cock on his friend’s tongue. He pulled back and looked into Jared’s eyes. “I’m ready, Jare.”
Jared found a condom in the same drawer that held the lube and he tore open the package getting ready to roll it on when Jensen’s hands on his stilled his movement. “I-I’m clean…only been with…” he swallowed a lump, not able to say her name in this moment. “You?” he asked.
Jared nodded. “You sure, Jensen?”
“I’m sure. If…if we only get this night,” Jensen took a deep steadying breath. “I want everything…all of you, Jay.”
Jared searched Jensen’s deep warm-jade gaze and then nodded slowly and tossed the condom into the garbage still inside the wrapper. He poured a few more drops of lube onto his fingers and slicked his cock. Jensen’s pupils widened even further as he watched Jared stroke over his long cock and he laid back against the pillows.
Holding Jared’s stare, Jensen let his legs slowly fall open again, exposing his stretched hole to the younger man’s hungry eyes.
“Fuck, Jen. Beautiful like this.” Jensen blushed deeper red but didn’t look away as Jared knelt up between his bowed legs.
“Just need to be clear….you sure you want this?” Jensen nodded slowly, lust-dark gaze burning into Jared. “Ev…even if it’s just…just this-“
“I’m sure Jared.” Jensen’s voice was steady but Jared didn’t miss the passing twinge of pain in the olivine irises. “Even if I only get this once, I need you tonight.” Jared bent to place the barest caress of a kiss to Jensen’s lips.
With a single nod of his head, Jared rested on his knees and one hand as the other hand guided his cock to Jensen’s entrance. He pushed the head inside the first ring of muscle, then balanced his weight over Jensen on both hands as he brought his lips to Jensen’s for another kiss.
Their lips slid lazy over each other as Jared slowly, so very slowly, pushed every inch of his aching cock into Jensen’s needy hole. When he bottomed out and his balls brushed against Jensen’s ass, they both moaned into the kiss as it turned heated again.
Jared drew back, pulling out all but the flared head of his cock before thrusting back in, faster than the first time, but still slow and easy. Jensen’s hands gripped Jared’s back as Jared’s hips rocked into his in a deliciously unhurried pace. Jared began to grind in a pattern and Jensen cried out when his cock dragged over the pleasure-sweet spot deep inside him.
Large hands wrapped around Jensen’s hips, as Jared balanced and adjusted his thrusts to a steady unrelenting assault on Jensen’s prostate.
“Oh god, Jared. Yes! Oh fuck.” Jensen’s short nails dug into the skin of his back, leaving bloody half-moons, and Jensen knew he shouldn’t, but he delighted in marking the man that was his, if only in this moment.
“Fuck, Jen…so tight.” Jared hummed as his hips began to pick up speed.
Jensen grunted out a disagreement. “You’re just fucking huge.”
Jared chuckled and then whispered into Jensen’s ear darkly, “You complaining?”
Jensen nipped at Jared’s shoulder. “No.” Jensen rolled his hips into Jared’s thrusts punching a deep groan from Jared. “Fuck, Jay. Harder. Wanna feel it. ‘M not gonna break.”
Jared reached under Jensen, grabbing his shoulders to hold him in place as he fucked into him hard and fast. Each snap of Jared’s hips jolted Jensen’s prostate forcing him closer and closer to coming. He started to reach a hand between them when Jared once again adjusted his angle until his cock slid over his sweet spot on every movement in and out. He felt the heavy heat building in his spine, drawing his balls up and knew he was about to come on Jared’s cock alone without a single touch to his own aching prick.
“God, Jensen….fuck! Hope you’re…you close?”
“Fuck yes. So close, Jay, so fucking close.”
Jared covered Jensen’s mouth with his and on his next thrust he drove right into Jensen’s prostate. The kiss and that final stroke sent Jensen into an orgasm so strong his back bowed off the bed and he screamed Jared’s name. Jared held on tight as Jensen’s body bucked beneath him and his hole fluttered and clenched around Jared’s cock. With Jensen’s name on his lips, Jared thrust deep into his best friend and came, wave after wave of pleasure shooting through every nerve in his body.
Jensen reached up, sinking his hands into Jared’s long hair and pulling him into a kiss. He whispered something just before their mouths connected. It sounded like two maybe three words that Jared missed with the buzz of pleasure thrumming through his body. Jared collapsed onto Jensen’s welcoming body, still kissing his beautiful mouth.
They lay entangled for several minutes, Jensen running his hands up and down the muscled contours of Jared’s back as they traded lazy, sweet kisses, until they were just lying in the circle of each other’s arms. Jared moved over, taking his weight off Jensen, even though the other man wasn’t complaining. He rested there, tracing patterns over Jensen’s chest until the weight of the air grew heavy around them again.
Jared rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed, and almost immediately felt Jensen’s hand on his wrist. “I don’t want you to leave.” A simple statement, a request delivered in a voice stripped of any strength. Jared nodded and laid back down next to his best friend, hand resting on his own belly as he faced Jensen’s bleary, still-red eyes. “Will….will you hold my hand?” Jared’s heart cracked open all over again at the way Jensen’s normally strong timber had been reduced to a tiny pleading tone.
He turned onto his side to face Jensen and his hand slid across the sheets to find Jensen’s, threading their fingers together and bringing their clasped hands to his lips to kiss Jensen’s knuckles.
Jensen’s lips curled in solemn smile. “I’m not crazy, Jar, it’s clear this ain’t ….but…stay with me?”
“ ‘Course, J. Not going anywhere.”
They fell asleep hands clasped between their bodies, facing each other.
* * * * *
When Jensen woke the next morning, the bed was empty. The house was still empty and his heart was still broken. He rolled over to bury his face in the pillow Jared had rested on and he breathed in. Engulfed by Jared’s smell, Jensen realized who it was he missed deep into his soul. It crashed over him in waves until he whispered the words against a tear-soaked, Jared-scented pillowcase. “All I need.”
.