Broken Road Home Chapter 5
(See Masterpost for summary, warnings, etc.)
Chapter 5
Dean shut the door of the Impala and stood to straighten his tie. He was at the 17th (or was it 27th?) school on his list. So far all he’d been able to accomplish was crossing places off his list, and that wasn’t a bad thing, but he felt like the clock was ticking; he just had to get to Sam. He cursed himself under his breath one more time as he walked towards the admissions office.
A pretty brunette sat at a large mahogany desk just inside the front door, her petite frame completely dwarfed by the immensity of the furniture around her. Dean flashed his most charming grin at her and watched her cheeks tint pink.
“Hey there, sweetheart. I’m looking for someone, and I’m hoping you might be able to help me,” he drawled.
The girl blinked behind her glasses and ducked her head with a tiny giggle. “I hope so too. What can I do?”
He grinned again, and pulled his fake badge from his pocket, flashing it quickly before tucking it away again. “I’m Officer Young, I’m investigating a missing person. I’ll need a list of your students, and pictures would be good.”
“Of course, Officer, whatever you need” she said leaning forward slightly to give Dean a peek at her cleavage. “I can get you a list. Gonna take a couple hours though.”
“Couple hours?”
“Yeah, sorry. We don’t have anything like that in the system, I’d have to cross reference some things.”
“Oh,” he said with a slight note of disappointment.
“Or, you could go over to the library, grab a copy of the yearbook. It just came out, won’t have the newest students, but everyone here longer than 3 months would be in there. Picture and all.” She smiled at him, and he grinned back.
“Thanks, uh…”
“Elizabeth. Liz.”
“Thanks, Liz. So, could you point me in the direction of the library?” he asked leaning in slightly.
“Sure thing. Just head back out that door, take a left down the path and it’s the third building on your right. Big fountain in front, you can’t miss it,” she said with a smile.
He thanked her again and gave her a wink as he left. He found the library easily enough and pushed through the front door. Images of Sam, behind piles of books either doing schoolwork or helping research a case flashed through his mind and a sad smile spread across his face.
The library was filled with kids immersed in stacks of papers, an occasional book in the piles. Dean walked down the stairs to the main floor hoping to find a librarian that was at least a little hot. Hey, he loved Sam, but he could still appreciate some nice curves. What he found was a very harried woman who looked to be in her late forties. Graying brown hair pulled into a bun that was coming undone as quickly as she was, glasses perched on her nose, pencil tucked behind her ear and a stain on her skirt.
Dean approached her carefully, gently tapping her on the shoulder. She jumped and glared at him. He held his hands up in surrender, “Sorry, Miss…”
She narrowed her eyes, “Ms. Aronson. I’m very busy, is there something you need?” She gathered up a stack of books and started walking toward the front desk.
“I can see that, Ms. Aronson,” Dean said smoothly, “and I’m real sorry to bother you. Here let me get that for you,” he reached to open the latch on the gate that closed off the desk area.
She dropped the books on the desk and Dean put his charming smile back on. Ms. Aronson sighed, “What can I do for you?”
“I’m just looking for the yearbooks, the most current one specifically.”
She raised an eyebrow at him, “What for?”
He pulled his badge out to show her, “I’m looking for a missing young man.”
“Okay,” she said, “they’re over this way.”
Dean followed her back out and they passed back by several of those stressed-out looking students hidden in an avalanche of papers. “What’s going on with all of them? Exams or something?”
She huffed, “No, midterms are a few weeks off still. They’re applying to colleges. The schools are competitive and the students are under a lot of pressure. Most of them are also looking for scholarships. Here you go.” They had stopped in a corner and she pointed him to the shelf of yearbooks.
“Thanks,” he said, but she had already turned to leave him. He watched as she walked back towards one of the students. His head tilted to one side as a memory floated to the front of his brain.
Dean was on Baby’s hood, leaning back against the windshield. Sam rested against his chest, sitting in the V of Dean’s legs. Both were shirtless; the flavor of Sam’s come still sat in Dean’s mouth and the sparks from his own orgasm still danced in his nerves. The sky over the pond was clear enough to see the sparkle of every single star and both boys stared up as they talked. Dean’s hand rubbed absently over Sam’s heart, and Sam’s fingers reached back to tease at the short hair on the back of Dean’s neck.
Sam leaned up to meet Dean’s lips for another kiss. “ ‘s beautiful out here, De.”
“Mm,” Dean agreed.
“All those stars. Just you and me.”
“And Baby.”
Sam laughed, “And Baby. Makes me think.”
“’Bout what?”
“About the future. About what you and me could do.”
Dean leaned down and placed a kiss to Sam’s temple, “You can do anything you put that giant brain to, Sammy.”
“You can too, Dean. I think I might wanna go to school,” Sam looked down.
“You go to school every day,” Dean kidded.
Sam smacked Dean’s knee gently, “I mean college, jerk.”
“I know, bitch,” Dean’s smile turned serious. He didn’t like the idea of anything that took Sammy away from him, but he’d never hold Sam back from doing something he wanted. “If that’s what you want, Sammy, you should do it. God knows you’re smart enough.” Sam blushed and tried to hide his face in Dean’s chest. “What do you think you’ll do?” Dean asked.
“I thought maybe law school…could be a lawyer. Might come in handy.”
Dean smiled, “Way you argue, bet you’d be a great lawyer. Got a school in mind yet?”
Sam ducked his head again, “Stanford,” he said softly, “Maybe. Could try for a scholarship.”
“Bet you get two, brainiac,” Dean’s thumb traced Sam’s jaw and they leaned back together for another kiss.
“Come with me, De?”
Instead of an answer, Dean had turned Sam fully around to face him and kissed him until the question was forgotten by both as Dean rolled his brother under him and rocked their hips together.
Dean smiled, cheeks flushing as he let the rest of the memory play through his head for a moment. He did a quick check of the yearbook before he went, but as he’d thought, this was just another school he could cross of the list. His steps still felt lighter as he left the library and headed for the Impala.
Stanford. He had a good lead, a really good lead, and Sammy felt closer than he had since he’d first been taken away from Dean.
* * * * *
Sam sighed as he closed the door to his empty mailbox. He knew it was probably still too early, but he’d really been hoping to hear from Stanford anyway. At least about admission, scholarship applications would take longer of course. He threw his backpack back over his shoulder and headed back toward the dorm.
Jason was waiting for him in their room; they planned to go to the dining hall for dinner together. A smile took over Sam’s face at the thought of his roommate. There had been more attempts at studying that ended with more touching and less exchanging of knowledge. Sam still struggled with the feeling that he was betraying Dean, but as his feelings for Jason grew it got less and less difficult to ignore that gnawing in the pit of his stomach when he thought about Dean. And sometimes Sam would surprise himself by going nearly an entire day without even thinking about his brother.
He opened the door to find Jason damp and wearing only a towel around his waist. He swallowed; this might be one of those times when they never actually got around to doing what it was they had originally planned.
“Dude, you’re staring,” Jason said with a slight flush to his cheeks.
“Sorry,” Sam stammered out, dropping his bag on his bed.
Jason crossed the room and pulled Sam into a kiss. “No need to be.” What would have been another kiss was interrupted by a rather loud grumble from Sam’s stomach. Jason laughed, “Alright, just let me get some clothes on and we’ll go eat.”
“Sounds good,” Sam said with a laugh.
“Uh, can you just,” Jason made a twirling motion with his hand, “maybe turn around for a sec?”
Sam blushed, “Oh, yeah. Right. Sure.” Sometimes sharing a room with the person he was dating got a little awkward, but Sam was still a gentleman and he didn’t peek. Well, not more than once anyway.
“Ok,” Jason said and Sam turned to find the towel replaced with jeans, but Jason still bare from the waist up. He walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his bare torso, bending to drop a kiss to the back of his neck.
“Alright, if you start with that, we’ll never get to the food, Sammy.”
Sam tensed. He only liked that name coming out of one person’s mouth. And that person wasn’t who he wanted to think about when his lips were on another man’s neck. He let go of Jason and stepped back. “Yeah, we, uh, we should get going. You know, before we miss the um, food.” Although, suddenly Sam wasn’t the least bit hungry.
Jason’s brow creased with concern, “You okay, Sam?”
Sam nodded, “Yeah. Fine.” Jason raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. “I’m good, really. Just…just, don’t call me Sammy again, ok?”
“Yeah, sure. No problem. Sorry, Sam.”
Sam smiled thinly, “It’s ok, Jay. Really. Let’s go eat, huh?”
Jason pulled his shirt on over his head and grabbed his jacket, “Yeah man, let’s go.”
* * * * *
Dean grinned as he pulled away from the Stanford campus. He had an address, Sam’s address! It was a couple days drive if he really pushed it, but at long last he knew Sam was gonna be there at the end of it.
It had taken him a bit of time to shuffle through the giant pile of applications, and it wasn’t Sam Winchester’s name he found. Of course his father had given Sammy a false identity, but Dean knew his father well enough to figure out which names could fit his usual pattern for choosing pseudonyms. That knowledge coupled with how well he knew his little brother and what sort of essay he’d write had really narrowed down the pile.
Thank goodness, all applicants had to put a photo on file, and once Dean had narrowed it down to less than 40 guys, he’d flipped through all their photos. When Sammy’s bright dimpled grin appeared before him his heart had lifted. He started scribbling down the address with shaking hands, thought better of it and had the secretary make him a copy of the application instead.
* * * * *
It took Dean three days to get to the town where Sam’s school was located. He’d run out of money halfway through day two and had to stop to do a quick hustle. Now that he had arrived his excitement was overwhelmed by his fear. He hadn’t even been able to talk to Sam in over a year and though he never doubted Sam’s love, he wasn’t sure how angry or hurt his brother would be.
He pulled the Impala into the parking lot of the motel closest to Sam’s school. He threw his duffel on the bed and went to the bathroom. When he caught sight of himself in the mirror he decided it would be best to clean up before going to see Sammy. His brother might be more willing to accept his apology if he was begging forgiveness with a fresh shave and clothes that didn’t reek of three days worth of road grime.
An hour later Dean was dressed in his cleanest jeans and t-shirt under his ever-present leather jacket and he stood outside Sam’s door. He took a deep breath and knocked.
* * * * *
Sam and Jason were sitting at their desks, they had decided the best way to actually get their studying done was to work separately. At the sound of someone knocking on their door both their heads popped up. Sam’s desk was closer to the door so he got up to answer it. Nothing could have prepared him for what was on the other side.
“Dean?” Sam couldn’t believe his eyes. There in front of him was the sight he’d wanted to see every day since he’d been dumped here by John. Leather jacket, freckles, bowed legs, lush lips. His brother smiled at him, a storm of emotions swirling in his green eyes, the foremost that all-encompassing love that Sam had begun to doubt.
“Heya, Sammy,” Dean said, unable to keep the waver out of his voice.
Sam didn’t even have to think; his heart and body acted for him. He lunged forward and pulled his brother into a hug and laughed out a broken sob when he felt Dean’s arms close around him and squeeze.
“You came,” Sam whispered, “I knew it. Knew you’d keep your promise.”
“I missed you, baby boy,” Dean said, then pulled back enough to look into Sam’s watery hazel eyes. He cupped his hand around Sam’s jaw, “I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner, Sammy. So sorry.”
“Don’t care,” Sam said. No longer able to resist the pull of those lips, Sam wrapped a hand around Dean’s neck and drew him into a kiss.
Dean let out a sound he would later swear was a moan, but Sam knew was a whimper. He tightened his arms around Sam and kissed him back with everything in him.
Across the room the sound of a chair scraping across the floor and then a just slightly louder than necessary throat clearing registered with the brothers. Sam broke from the kiss and pulled back at the reminder that Jason was witnessing this entire exchange.
“Oh, God,” Sam uttered. He put the smallest amount of space between himself and his brother. “Dean this is Jason, Jason this is -“
“So, this is Dean?” Jason interrupted.
Dean frowned and looked at Sam. Sam flashed a quick look at Dean, hoping he’d understand and follow Sam’s lead. “Yeah, this is Dean.”
“The ex, right?” Jason asked, intonation clearly questioning the status of Sam’s feelings more than the identity of the man at their door.
Dean’s eyebrow shot up and he watched Sam’s face waiting to see what his answer would be as he tried to decipher what it meant that Sam had referred to him as an ex-boyfriend instead of brother…or current boyfriend whose return he was expecting.
Sam froze. He was completely lost and just stood there unable to make his brain form words. He was looking from one man to the other; his brother who he had always adored, loved with his entire being, and the guy who had been there for Sam through some of the worst months in his whole life. Neither one of them deserved to be hurt, and Sam…well Sam just had no idea where to even begin trying to untie this tangled mess.
“Sammy?” Dean asked. This time Jason’s eyebrows shot up, as he figured out that Dean was somehow at the base of why Sam couldn’t bear that nickname.
Sam turned tear-filled eyes to his brother, “De, I…I’m sorry,” Sam’s voice trembled.
Dean shook his head. No, this wasn’t happening. He finally had Sam in front of him and Sam was choosing someone else? “What do you mean, sorry? Sammy, what’s going on? Who is this?”
Sam looked at the floor and shook his own head as a rueful laugh escaped him. Jason stepped toward him and Sam looked up to see the hurt fresh in those soft, warm brown eyes. The last thing Sam wanted was to hurt either of these men, but he was about to break both their hearts, no matter what he said.
“Jason is my roommate. My friend. He’s been here for me…w-we…we, um,” God this was just too hard. Sam couldn’t even make his mouth shape the words to explain. And Dean already looked so broken. A tear escaped Jason’s eye and rolled down his cheek. Sam hauled a deep breath into his constricted lungs. Better to rip the band aid off. “Dean, Jason and I have been-“ Jason stepped forward and slipped his hand into Sam’s. Sam was both grateful for the action and irritated that he might be just trying to assert a claim on Sam.
Dean felt it, the exact moment when his heart was crushed. He couldn’t even speak. There had never been anyone else in his mind or heart that could ever come close to competing with Sammy. And Dean had always been so sure that Sam felt the same way. But now, here Sam was, in front of Dean, holding someone else’s hand.
“Oh,” Dean croaked, “I-I see. I, I’m just gonna go then,” Dean turned to leave before he made an even bigger ass of himself.
Sam’s hand dropped Jason’s to wrap around Dean’s wrist. “Dean, wait. Let me exp-“
Dean shook his wrist free of Sam’s hold, “No, Sammy. I understand. I gotta go.”
“Dean,” Sam tried again. His brother’s shoulders tensed for just a second before he walked out the door.
Jason caught Sam as he collapsed into sobs.
* * * * *
Dean was still reeling when he made it back to the motel. Of all the possible scenes he’d played through in his head of how it would go when he found Sam, his brother having a boyfriend had never occurred to him. Dean swiped the back of his hand across his eyes and then swiped his palm down his face.
When he opened the door to his room, his mind was still working so hard on the puzzle of what had happened with Sam that he had no way to process his second shock of the day. He blinked twice trying to comprehend the figure sitting in the chair in his room.
John Winchester pushed up from his seat and walked toward his son.
Chapter 6