(no subject)
A convo with eesia about the lameass terms used for cocks in romance books reminded me that I haven't written any badfic for ages.
So while I drank my coffee, I wrote this. And I tried to use the worst possible names for a cock that I could think of...
Title: The Adventures Of The Love Muscle Of Joy.
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating NC-17 I s'pose
A/N: This is utter crap. Seriously. lol. And it's actually pretty hard NOT to use the word 'cock'.
*is gigantic dork*
"Hey, Sam. Guess what??" said Dean.
"What?" Said Sam, inspecting his left testicle for fleas.
"My member is throbbing and hard. And I'd like to put it in the warmth of your butthole of love." Dean grabbed at the hard tube of lovemeat in his pants, pulled it out, and gave it a shake.
"Dude! You're gross. You're my brother. Put it away." Sam grimaced, and threw up a little in his mouth. Tasted like chicken.
"But you want it. Admit it. You want my big hard love monkey where the sun don't shine, don't you? You want to feel it throbbing against your inner muscular muscles of muscly bumlove." said Dean, moving closer and whacking Sam across the ear with it.
Sam moaned, and said "Well when you put it like that... gimme gimme!" and he made grabby hands in the direction of Dean's meat whistle.
Sam was getting a stiffy the size of godzilla, and was about to jizz in his pants.
"Tell me how much you want it, Sam! Doooo it." demanded Dean, stroking his love pole of joy, and throwing in a blue-steel look for good measure.
"I want it! Oh Lordy, I want it. I can has? I want your pumping pole of peen power to splooge all over my bum. Like, for serious." said Sam, jumping out of his chair and pushing Dean to the ground.
"Yippee! That's what I wanted to hear. Now put your bum on my love truncheon and let's go to town!!"
Sam jumped on top of Dean and bounced up and down till Dean's peenie slipped into his bum and they had sex.
Lots of sex.
Then they fell asleep.
Then they woke up.
Then they pretended their one-eyed wonder weasels were light sabers, and they giggled till the crack of dawn.
It was fun.
So while I drank my coffee, I wrote this. And I tried to use the worst possible names for a cock that I could think of...
Title: The Adventures Of The Love Muscle Of Joy.
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating NC-17 I s'pose
A/N: This is utter crap. Seriously. lol. And it's actually pretty hard NOT to use the word 'cock'.
*is gigantic dork*
"Hey, Sam. Guess what??" said Dean.
"What?" Said Sam, inspecting his left testicle for fleas.
"My member is throbbing and hard. And I'd like to put it in the warmth of your butthole of love." Dean grabbed at the hard tube of lovemeat in his pants, pulled it out, and gave it a shake.
"Dude! You're gross. You're my brother. Put it away." Sam grimaced, and threw up a little in his mouth. Tasted like chicken.
"But you want it. Admit it. You want my big hard love monkey where the sun don't shine, don't you? You want to feel it throbbing against your inner muscular muscles of muscly bumlove." said Dean, moving closer and whacking Sam across the ear with it.
Sam moaned, and said "Well when you put it like that... gimme gimme!" and he made grabby hands in the direction of Dean's meat whistle.
Sam was getting a stiffy the size of godzilla, and was about to jizz in his pants.
"Tell me how much you want it, Sam! Doooo it." demanded Dean, stroking his love pole of joy, and throwing in a blue-steel look for good measure.
"I want it! Oh Lordy, I want it. I can has? I want your pumping pole of peen power to splooge all over my bum. Like, for serious." said Sam, jumping out of his chair and pushing Dean to the ground.
"Yippee! That's what I wanted to hear. Now put your bum on my love truncheon and let's go to town!!"
Sam jumped on top of Dean and bounced up and down till Dean's peenie slipped into his bum and they had sex.
Lots of sex.
Then they fell asleep.
Then they woke up.
Then they pretended their one-eyed wonder weasels were light sabers, and they giggled till the crack of dawn.
It was fun.