So New Years Eve sucked ass
I don't usually use my LJs for personal life rants. I keep that to IMing with close friends but I feel like shit today and can't help it. New Years Eve started out okay but I knew it was doomed to fail as soon as my husband and I started drinking. I quit drinking in 1985 and since have had a few random drinks here or there but always know when to stop and it is like a once a year thing with me if that. He, on the other hand, drinks everyday but only gets truly drunk maybe once - max twice a week.
I stopped drinking to get drunk for health reasons and because I'm the nastiest drunk you've ever seen. He needs to quit drinking because I firmly believe he has a chemical imbalance associated with alcohol that makes his manic depression turn to the violent schizophrenic side.
As the night wore on, he began to do his usual 'blame me for everything wrong in the world' gig. By the end of the ordeal, I ended up with a sprained left wrist, a limp in my never-healed completely right knee, bruises on my neck where he actually choked me, a bruise under my left eye where he fell and accidentally headbutted me, and a sprained left ankle when I kicked him in the chest to launch his ass across the room when he put a knife to my throat. Out of all of that, I think I am more pissed that he beat and kicked my 20 year old dog that can barely move as it is.
Out of the 5 years that we've been together, he has always bitched and ranted about the stupidest shit when he drinks but never put his hands on me once. After I kicked him off the bed and into the bookcase, he banged his head up real good and didn't touch me again. So, I'm not much in talking mood or hearing 'you should leave his ass'. I've been in an abusive relationship before that was worse than you could possibly imagine. Even went through that bullshit way of thinking that maybe it was me that was bringing it on myself. I don't think that way anymore.
I just needed to get this off my chest and I really can't type anymore because of my wrist. So...
Love and hugs to my flist. I'm gonna use my speak and type to keep working on my fic to absorb my mind in something else for a while. He went to work today and I finally have space to think and nurse my wounds both mental and physical while he's gone.
I stopped drinking to get drunk for health reasons and because I'm the nastiest drunk you've ever seen. He needs to quit drinking because I firmly believe he has a chemical imbalance associated with alcohol that makes his manic depression turn to the violent schizophrenic side.
As the night wore on, he began to do his usual 'blame me for everything wrong in the world' gig. By the end of the ordeal, I ended up with a sprained left wrist, a limp in my never-healed completely right knee, bruises on my neck where he actually choked me, a bruise under my left eye where he fell and accidentally headbutted me, and a sprained left ankle when I kicked him in the chest to launch his ass across the room when he put a knife to my throat. Out of all of that, I think I am more pissed that he beat and kicked my 20 year old dog that can barely move as it is.
Out of the 5 years that we've been together, he has always bitched and ranted about the stupidest shit when he drinks but never put his hands on me once. After I kicked him off the bed and into the bookcase, he banged his head up real good and didn't touch me again. So, I'm not much in talking mood or hearing 'you should leave his ass'. I've been in an abusive relationship before that was worse than you could possibly imagine. Even went through that bullshit way of thinking that maybe it was me that was bringing it on myself. I don't think that way anymore.
I just needed to get this off my chest and I really can't type anymore because of my wrist. So...
Love and hugs to my flist. I'm gonna use my speak and type to keep working on my fic to absorb my mind in something else for a while. He went to work today and I finally have space to think and nurse my wounds both mental and physical while he's gone.