Summer of Regrets 4 of 6
“I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Then you should have stopped before you made me feel like a slut and a whore you knocked up.”
“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that or imply it.” He left Jensen alone, but he really didn’t know how to feel about it; Being a father at eighteen. He loved Jensen, and this kid was part of him and part of Jensen; But he wasn’t ready. With them both in college, it wasn’t going to help raising a kid. He could do the math; he knew Jensen was due in March. Instead of heading to class, Jared just walked around the campus until it was dark out. He picked up some food for them. He walked into the apartment to find it dark. He placed the food in the kitchen and headed into the bedroom; Praying Jensen was in there. Jensen was lying in the dark room on the bed when he heard the door slowly open up. “Jensen, I brought some food home if you’re hungry.”
“No, thanks.” He slowly sat up in bed and turned the light on.
Jared couldn’t help but gasp when he saw how pale his boyfriend looked. “Are you okay for right now?”
“Yes, why?”
“I’m going to pick up some things, and I’ll be right back.” Jensen nodded and watched him rush out of the apartment.
He drove to the nearest store and bought some ginger ale and crackers for Jensen, and he grabbed a home pregnancy test and rushed back home. He fixed Jensen some ginger ale and took some crackers into the bedroom. “Here.”
Jensen couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. “Thanks.”
“I also got a pregnancy test for you to take when you feel up to it.” Jensen nodded and took a drink and a few bites of the crackers. “I won’t lie to you. I really don’t know what to think if the test comes back positive. I mean…I know there’s really no denying it you’re pregnant but I’m really not sure if I want to be a father. I’m so young, I never thought about being a father until this day. I just want you to know I will be with you the whole time. I love you.” That was when Jensen broke down. Jared just pulled him into him and held him as his boyfriend released all his fears.
~3am~
Jensen walked out of the bathroom with his fifth potsticker in his mouth with the pregnancy test in his hand as Jared slept in the bed.
Jared stirred when Jensen sat down on the bed next to him. He opened his eyes to see Jensen holding the test with one hand and the other feeding himself the Chinese food Jared had brought him home. He placed his hand on Jensen’s bare stomach. “Are we?”
“Yes.” He placed the test down.
“I’m sorry, Jensen. Any potstickers left?” That was when tears came to Jensen’s eyes. “Oh, god.” He sat up in the bed. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“You didn’t. I just never saw my life like this; Being a father some day but not at twenty-two.”
“Hey, we’ve got seven months to decide what we want to do, and we have lots of choices.” Jensen nodded. “Now, about the potstickers.”
“If you want an egg roll better claim it now--can’t tell what will be left.”
Jared chuckled and kissed Jensen on the cheek and grabbed two egg rolls. “Eat what you want, and I’ll have what you don’t want, but thanks for the egg rolls.” Jensen nodded.
~Five Months~
Jared sat up in bed, reading his text book as Jensen entered the room wearing a hoodie. “Why are you wearing that?”
“It’s comfortable.” He tugged on the leg of his boxers which were tight on him.
“I think you need bigger underwear.” The past few weeks, he had watched them get tighter over his butt as it filled out.
“Take the hoodie off.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Jensen, I know you’re showing, so stop hiding.” He grabbed the hoodie and pulled it off him. Then he gasped when saw Jensen was bigger than he had expected, and that told him that Jensen had been hiding it longer than he thought he was. He didn’t realize that his hand seemed to be drawn to the curve of the belly. He felt the warmth and the soft skin under his hand. “You know we are going to have to decide what we want to do soon.”
“I know.” He pushed the hand off when his stomach growled. He reached into his nightstand and pulled out a Twinkie.
Jared had caught on about a month ago that any time he brought up the baby and what they should do, Jensen turned to food. This kid was more junk food these days. “I know I haven’t asked, but I think I should have asked this before. Have you made up your mind?”
“I want it, Jared; But I also don’t want to force you into anything you don’t want to do.”
“Thanks; But I’m still not ready.” Jensen nodded and went for another Twinkie.
Jared sighed and went back to his book, knowing he couldn’t press it any more for right now.
http://deanlives.livejournal.com/54603.html