"No, Lord Helmet, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again."archon_menthaOctober 6 2009, 22:38:40 UTC
Dean waited, restless, at the diner for Sam. This particular diner was a pathetic specimen of the breed. It was perfectly clean, the shiny olive green vinyl booths were brand new but aggressively retro, and the food had all of the grease but none of the taste. Even the coffee was terrible.
He wasn't about to try the pie. God only knew what horrors could be inflicted upon a perfectly decent pie.
Which left him with nothing to do except force down more swallows of the blackened sludge-like coffee for twenty more minutes until Sam showed up. Hopefully, he would have figured out how to change Cas back.
Dean pulled the small action figure from his pocket. It was of the highest quality; every detail was perfect, down to his loosened tie and the tiny angel sword gripped tightly in his hand.
Grinning at it, he stood it up on the table. It fell over.
A few swift, if indelicate, adjustments to Cas' legs later, it was standing on the table, sword raised high over his head for balance.
He grabbed the tiny, disposable bottle of ketchup from the table and marched it up to the figure.
"Well, don't you look all badass," Ketchup said to Cas, "but it won't do you any good, because I'm a really, really powerful demon." Ketchup cackled, sounding kind of stupid and pretentious.
"You should show me some respect," Cas said in a low, rough voice. Carefully, Dean inched him closer to the infernal condiment, which quailed ever so slightly.
Just then, the salt shaker came strolling in, oozing style and awesomeness with every step across the table. "Anything I can help out with here, Cas?"
"Dean!" Cas exclaimed to the salt shaker. "I was hoping you should show up. Let's kill this demon together!"
"Okay," Salt said. Dean pushed the salt cellar into Ketchup, which slid across the table surface. Before it could recover and attack, Dean lifted Cas up and placed him behind the unsuspecting mini-jar.
"Stupid demon, you forgot I can teleport," Cas said, striking Ketchup with his knife. Ketchup fell over on its side, the lid coming off and red goo smearing across the table.
"That was awesome!" Salt!Dean said to Cas, who flew back across the table to stand in front of him.
"You're a great hunter, Dean," Cas said. Carefully, Dean lowered Cas' arms so they were held out in front of him. "It is just one of your many attractive qualities."
"I know," Salt!Dean said, smoothly edging closer to Cas. "You're not so bad yourself."
"You find me attractive?" Cas said, his tiny, painted blue eyes intense. Little by little, Dean pushed Cas closer to the salt shaker. The salt shaker did not back down.
"Yeah," Salt!Dean started to say, but was interrupted by the press of high-quality plastic lips against his metal rim.
A flicker of motion caught the corner of Dean's eye. Quickly, he swept the salt shaker and the Castiel figure up in an attempt to hide them with his arms.
"I think those two need to get a room," Sam said.
"Shut up."
"I mean, seriously. This place isn't exactly romantic." Sam frowned. "Or maybe they can't? Is he like a Ken doll down there? That would be tragic."
"If you say one more word, I'm gonna kill you." Sam had a point, though. Who knew whether Cas the Action Figure was anatomically correct?
Re: "No, Lord Helmet, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again."tracyOctober 7 2009, 00:00:34 UTC
fdksljfskdlfjdsklfjdsk oh my god dying dying dying. DEAN. PLAYING WITH CAS. THE SALT SHAKER! MAKING OUT WITH CAS! Oh my god I need to know what Castiel thinks of all this.
He wasn't about to try the pie. God only knew what horrors could be inflicted upon a perfectly decent pie.
Which left him with nothing to do except force down more swallows of the blackened sludge-like coffee for twenty more minutes until Sam showed up. Hopefully, he would have figured out how to change Cas back.
Dean pulled the small action figure from his pocket. It was of the highest quality; every detail was perfect, down to his loosened tie and the tiny angel sword gripped tightly in his hand.
Grinning at it, he stood it up on the table. It fell over.
A few swift, if indelicate, adjustments to Cas' legs later, it was standing on the table, sword raised high over his head for balance.
He grabbed the tiny, disposable bottle of ketchup from the table and marched it up to the figure.
"Well, don't you look all badass," Ketchup said to Cas, "but it won't do you any good, because I'm a really, really powerful demon." Ketchup cackled, sounding kind of stupid and pretentious.
"You should show me some respect," Cas said in a low, rough voice. Carefully, Dean inched him closer to the infernal condiment, which quailed ever so slightly.
Just then, the salt shaker came strolling in, oozing style and awesomeness with every step across the table. "Anything I can help out with here, Cas?"
"Dean!" Cas exclaimed to the salt shaker. "I was hoping you should show up. Let's kill this demon together!"
"Okay," Salt said. Dean pushed the salt cellar into Ketchup, which slid across the table surface. Before it could recover and attack, Dean lifted Cas up and placed him behind the unsuspecting mini-jar.
"Stupid demon, you forgot I can teleport," Cas said, striking Ketchup with his knife. Ketchup fell over on its side, the lid coming off and red goo smearing across the table.
"That was awesome!" Salt!Dean said to Cas, who flew back across the table to stand in front of him.
"You're a great hunter, Dean," Cas said. Carefully, Dean lowered Cas' arms so they were held out in front of him. "It is just one of your many attractive qualities."
"I know," Salt!Dean said, smoothly edging closer to Cas. "You're not so bad yourself."
"You find me attractive?" Cas said, his tiny, painted blue eyes intense. Little by little, Dean pushed Cas closer to the salt shaker. The salt shaker did not back down.
"Yeah," Salt!Dean started to say, but was interrupted by the press of high-quality plastic lips against his metal rim.
A flicker of motion caught the corner of Dean's eye. Quickly, he swept the salt shaker and the Castiel figure up in an attempt to hide them with his arms.
"I think those two need to get a room," Sam said.
"Shut up."
"I mean, seriously. This place isn't exactly romantic." Sam frowned. "Or maybe they can't? Is he like a Ken doll down there? That would be tragic."
"If you say one more word, I'm gonna kill you." Sam had a point, though. Who knew whether Cas the Action Figure was anatomically correct?
It was worth investigating. Later.
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Instead, I'll just say that was some high-quality plastic crack fic!
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:D Thanks!
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And now I will be disappointed if nothing similar happens in the actual ep. X.x
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Me too, definitely. :D
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Sam is ♥.
Oh my god, Dean, what a perv.
I HAVE SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.
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RIGHT BACK AT YOU!
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and +eleventy billion for the Spaceballs reference!
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Mel Brooks is my own personal hero. ♥
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