[FIC] Masala Chai (NC-17) for Alkalph
Gift type: Fanfic
Title: Masala Chai
Recipient: alkalph
Author: kaylynnkie
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Changing Channels
Summary: Dean comes down with Swine Flu. This was meant as a crack fic, but it came out as a twisty turny foray into the flu and time. A flu of epic proportions. Good times all around.
Author notes: Hope you enjoy, Alkaph!
It all started with a sneeze. Dean remembered that much, but then it had mutated into a fever complete with chills and night sweats, vomiting and diarrhea. Sam hadn't been around. He was helping out Ellen and Jo with something, he couldn't really remember. That was sometime just after Thanksgiving, which the two had spent at a Denny's. If Dean figured right, then Sam had been gone just under a month. He had spent the last half hour trying to convince his lungs that the inside of his chest was a nice place to be and trying to stem the flow of various body fluids as they leaked out of every orifice in his head. As of yet, he was failing spectacularly. NyQuil and an empty shot glass sat on the dresser next to a big box of tissues and his keys.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew there was a ghost in this hotel he was supposed to be hunting. In his current state though, he'd be lucky to even catch a glimpse of the thing. As if on cue, he launched into a coughing fit and wiped away the chunks of phlegm with a tissue. The apocalypse just wasn't fucking enough for these bastards, was it? He had to defeat hell and the devil while fighting the flu, too? If you asked him, he'd just ask to take the devil on. He was no match for the flu.
“Hey, Dean! Guess what? Dean?” Sam was back. Fan-fucking-tastic. “DEAN!”
“Dude, keep it down.” He had tried to sound menacing, but his voice came out raspy and pathetic.
“Hey, man. What happened?” Sam was down on his knee, running the back of his hand over Dean's forehead, and his eyebrows soared. “You're burning up. When was the last time you ate something?”
“I don't know. That burger I think.”
“At the gas station? That was four days ago!”
“Oh.” He rolled over and curled up into the pillow. “Tired, Sammy. Leave me alone.”
Sam pulled his hand away and watched his brother with concern. Being sick was one thing, but Dean looked awful. There were big bags under his eyes and the sheets were stiff with stale dried sweat.
“I'll order some soup.”
The thought of food made Dean want to retch, which he would have done if he had had any of the energy to retch. Instead, he coughed weakly.
“Please don't.”
For a minute, Sam looked like he was going to argue the point, but when he looked at Dean, his mouth twisted into a grimace. “Okay. No soup. But, Dean,” he knelt down. “you have to eat something or you won't get any better.”
“Don't care,” he declared before rolling over and wrapping the blankets around himself.
Sam left him before he said something that he would regret and headed towards the drug store around the corner, his cell phone in hand, whistling cheerfully.
~
“Yes, Sam?” Cas tilted his head thoughtfully at the youngest of the Winchester brothers.
Sam shifted nervously and bit at his nails. “Dean's sick.”
In a very carefully neutral move, one eyebrow went up on the angel's face. “Sick?”
“Yeah. But it's not normal,” he hastened to add. “He's got this fever and he won't take anything or eat. I'm just worried about him. You can use your angel mojo to take a look at him? Make sure he's okay?”
Cas was slightly disturbed that he hadn't felt the shift in Dean's aura. An illness should have been a blip on his radar as Dean would say. Not wanting to alarm the younger Winchester, he opted not to say anything.
Instead, he shook his head. “I don't know if I can heal him. He's not truly injured. Do you know that? If his body is...” he drifted off and shook his head. “An illness of the body influences the mind and the soul. I don't know if my grace is strong enough to heal him right now. His body will just...” He was looking at Sam with mild frustration, as if this would be so much easier if he were a child who would just know regardless of whether or not he could grasp what he was trying to say. “He is a strong man. He should be able to heal himself without my aid. Although, it will certainly take longer.” He added thoughtfully.
Sam chose not to be insulted at Cas's exasperation with him. “But you'll look?” His eyes were wide, and a small smile of desperation was threatening to break through.
“Of course I will.”
When they returned to the hotel room, Dean was tossing and turning on the mattress. The angel immediately touched his arm, and Dean went still. He made a soft noise and curled around the pillow.
“Dean?” Sam spoke softly, but his older brother didn't seem to hear him. “Hey, De-”
“It's alright, Sam. I'll talk to him. I need you to get me cold water, sugar, salt, lemons and this spice . The store in the other end of town should have it.” He removed a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Sam. It had the name of what looked like an Indian spice.
“Is this...”
Cas smiled, a slight upturn of his lips. “It's perfectly safe. Just come back with these things when you find them all.”
“ 'Kay.” He looked over his shoulder as he was leaving, fear and doubt evident in his face, but nonetheless, he walked out and left Dean in Cas's capable hands.
~
“What the hell are you doing here, Cas?” Dean tried to sit up, but Cas's hand was on his chest, holding him down. He most definitely did not like that.
He shook his head and then tilted it at an angle. “You're ill.”
“Yeah. No shit, for real?”
Cas shook his head and looked up at the nightstand. “What is this?” He was holding up the bottle of NyQuil.
“Helps with the cough. It's for us poor weak humans when we get sick.”
Apparently, being sick made Dean introspective.
“Do you even know what it's like to get sick?” He fell back against the sheets in defeat. Cas noticed he was breathing hard and trembling.
“I have seen this before.” Cas touched Dean's forehead. “This is all over Asia and the Americas. You call it a virus I believe.”
Dean raised one eyebrow, trying to look annoyed but succeeding only in looking exhausted. “Aren't viruses incurable?”
For a long moment, Cas said nothing. If he were Sammy, Dean would have said that he was impressed, but with Cas, he was probably just contemplating what Dean meant in that mild manner of his.
“That's what humans say,” he replied with a shrug. “Merely because you haven't found the cure does not mean that there isn't a cure.”
“Whatever.” He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, coughing up phlegm and mucus.
Cas frowned. This was a disease that was killing people all over the world. He touched Dean's hand and found it to be cold and clammy, but he was sweating through the sheets. To his horror, he could see Dean's aura dimming. Death was lingering around him, and it made him fearful. The young man was strong, but the sickness was spreading through him with ferocity. It made Cas worry.
“Dean, you need to go to the doctor.”
“No, thanks.” He rolled over and shifted again. “I'm tired. What the hell can you do for me?” he added wearily.
The tone of his voice terrified Cas. Dead men spoke like Dean had.
Furious, Cas gripped his shoulder and forced him on his back facing him. “You will listen to me, Dean Winchester. This is what I can give to you .” He pressed his fingertips against the man's forehead and watched him slump into unconsciousness. Desperate, he lifted the knife Dean was keeping in the nightstand and gripped it tightly before pressing the tip into his arm. The blood flowed and he hissed at the sting of pain. It was still such a new sensation and one he was not prone to. Almost as terrifying as the palpable need he was feeling to take care of Dean.
There was no way he could allow Dean to die and continue to exist without him. He crouched on the floor and painted the small life force symbol. It was a web in a circle, similar to the shape of a dream catcher. Whatever life energy was draining out of Dean would become trapped in it, and when the ritual was complete, it would return to its rightful owner. Bowing his head, he focused his energy on Dean's aura, sensing his soul with his own and directed all of his grace into Dean's being. “I give to you life because it is rightly yours.”
~
“You are aware that he just had the flu? Granted, it was the swine flu, but still, Castiel.”
Cas glared at Gabriel. “His aura was bleeding.”
“It was flickering. Human souls do that when the body gets sick. It's why they have that out of body thing they always talk about so much.” Gabriel turned his head and was surprised by the slight smile on the other angel's lips. “Oh, Castiel. You dog, you. Get him when he can't fight back, eh?”
“I did no such thing. I healed him.”
He grinned. “You just forgot to tell him that his soul can fuel your grace because of your bond?”
“It may have slipped my mind,” he replied with a shrug. In all fairness, Cas had panicked after seeing Dean's aura bleed out. In his opinion, none of such a strong aura should have been allowed to leave its rightful soul.
Suddenly serious, Gabriel nodded. “A good man, a beautiful soul. I can see why you love him so deeply. Just be careful. Even angels forget themselves in the face of love.”
Cas would have turned to say something, but he knew the archangel was gone.
~
Dean was sleeping off the explosion of energy from the soul trap. Cas had been told that getting back residual soul energy was like having sexual intercourse. The initial experience is pleasant, but it requires a great deal of energy and can be exhausting. He pressed his cheek against Dean's body kneeling on the floor and still panting from the exertion of healing his charge.
Sam walked into the room with a plastic bag in hand. He looked furious.
“Cas, what the hell? Cardamom, man? You should have seen the look I got from the guy at the store. My brother is sick as hell and you sent me to buy tea?” But his fury melted away when he saw Cas on his knees, his blood dripping onto the floor and Dean unconscious on the bed. When he spoke next, his voice was small and shook. “Cas, what happened?”
“Perhaps, I should wake Dean.”
Mute, Sam nodded.
~
“You're saying he had swine flu?”
Dean was still swaying slightly from exhaustion, but he still managed to look furious. “You used your grace to do this?”
Cas turned to Sam, pointedly ignoring Dean. “He was dying. I won't let him come to harm now. Not when I can protect him.”
Across from him, Sam sat down heavily. He could see the emotions battling in his eyes. He wanted to scream and push Cas away, but Cas could see the gratefulness in the young man's eyes, too.
“You healed him?”
Cas nodded. “And his body will still generate the antibodies. He is safe for now.”
Sitting back, Sam shook his head. This was...beyond insane to say the least, but the earnest look in Cas's eyes stopped him. Somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that Dean would never come to harm if Cas were near. He though, a long time ago, that Cas was only following orders, but somewhere along the line it became more than that. At some point, Cas wasn't just following orders, he was on a mission. Dean was his mission, Sam realized suddenly. It wasn't because God told him to or the other angels threatened him with harm if he refused. Castiel was in love with his brother. The Angel of Thursday's heart and soul burned for Dean Winchester: celebrated womanizer and one night stand man.
“Cas-”
But the angel seemed to be even better than Dean at avoiding things he didn't want to talk about. “Did you buy the ingredients?”
“Yeah. They're here.”
Cas picked up the bag and Sam followed him into the kitchenette. Behind them Dean was fuming. He didn't follow.
“This will help.” He said as he removed the loose tea leaves.
Sam snorted. “Tea?”
The angel didn't seem bothered in the least. “Why do you think so many cultures celebrate the healing properties of tea leaves? It is truly a shame Americans appreciate coffee. It isn't good for them.”
“This is for him, isn't it?”
Cas looked perplexed. “Of course. Why-”
“No. I mean all of this. The healing, the desertion, all these angels coming after us. It's all because of Dean?”
Cas was quiet. “Angels can choose to see the entirety of time if our Father offers it to us.”
Talk about changing the subject. “Have you seen it?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
The smile Cas gave to him was bitter and remorseful as if he wanted to go back and start this conversation over. “I am very glad I knew you as you are now, Sam Winchester. ”
The implication was like a blow to the chest. Swallowing, he carried on, “And Dean? What about him?”
“I will know him.”
Sam breathed a sigh of relief and he didn't know why, but the next words Cas spoke chilled him.
“Before I am no longer able to.”
~
Dean was glaring out the window. The sun was going down and it was starting to snow. On any other day the snow alone would be enough to calm him, but it was going to take a lot more than that to soothe him. He turned slowly on Cas.
“What were you thinking?” When the angel didn't reply, he took a step forward. “Cas, don't you dare give me the silent treatment. You could have-” He stopped short, breathing hard. “Hell, I don't even know what you could have done to yourself. Your grace?” he whispered.
Slowly, Cas shook his head. “This is your life, Dean”
“Exactly! my life. I fail to see how that affects you. ”
Cas shot him a hurt look. “Of course it impacts me. It impacts you.”
Suddenly, the anger flared up and raged through him. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Dean hissed. “You can't waste your grace on me!”
Sam had gone out after he and Cas had talked, offering Dean some excuse.
He shook his head. “We're bonded. I can't let you die.”
“I would have been fine.” He insisted pushing Cas into the wall hard. His hands were shaking, adrenaline was pumping through him, probably another side effect of the soul trap.
Blue eyes flashed with something dark and dangerous before Dean was the one pinned against the wall, struggling against Cas's strength.
“You were dying. Your spirit was bleeding.” He snarled, something wrecked and broken in his voice. “Humans cannot heal the spirit once it begins to bleed. No matter...” he trailed off, looking away. “You cannot die. You have work to do here on Earth.” He didn't entirely trust what Gabriel had said. It still worried him that he had seen Dean's essence bleed out.
“I-”
Cas leaned in and stopped just short of Dean's lips. “I would not have you die, Dean Winchester.” And he kissed the mortal in his charge, nothing more than a soft brush of lips, but the touch was like fire. It rolled through Dean and the feeling warmed him like glowing embers. “You're soul is one of the most beautiful I have seen.
“You not secretly a chick under all that are you?”
“Angels have no sex.” He cocked his head and his voice rumbled with amusement.
Dean's mouth curved up into a slight smile. “But you can have it, right?”
He dragged Cas to him and captured his lips in a kiss that bordered on feral. His arm trembled slightly and there was definitely an ache in his back from being up against the wall.
“You're weak.” Cas observed, relieving the pressure by pushing up on Dean's hips. “You should be in bed. Humans need to rest when they have been ill.”
Dean shook his head. “I'm fairly sure that I've heard that before.” He turned for the bed and paused when Cas didn't follow him. “C'mon. You're coming with me.”
The angel cocked his head, but he complied when Dean gripped his hand and tugged him towards the bed. They laid together quietly, but Dean proved to be the one who couldn't stay still.
“I want this, Cas. If it's...” He swallowed. “I don't want this to be the last chance I ever got to tell you.”
Dean rolled onto his side and Cas copied the action. “What is it, Dean?”
He kissed Cas's shoulder. “I love you, feather-brain.”
Cas breathed deeply and exhaled shakily. “Dean.”
“Please, shut up.” He was blushing and Cas watched the scarlet color his face across his cheeks and up to the roots of his hair. Shyly, he ran his fingertips across his forehead. This was all for him. Dean was nervous and excited because of him.
“This is love? This need?” He twisted so that Dean was straddling his hips and fell flush against his chest. “The warmth I feel when you touch me is so much, too much, but I like it. I like this need to be with you. I have always loved you, Dean Winchester. From the moment I saw your soul, I knew there was no other creature as beautiful and there would never be another as special or as captivating.”
“Why do you always have to be so dramatic?” he groaned, burying his face in Cas's rumpled dress shirt.
“Because I am a pompous angel.”
Dean looked up at with wide eyes and his jaw slack. “Was that a joke, Cas? That was sarcasm? Cas. Wow.”
He chuckled a little and Cas found that the sound tugged at something in his belly and made heat pool between his legs. “Dean.”
When he looked up, there was something dark in Dean's eyes. The hunter wanted something, and it looked like he was going to get it.
“So, that virgin thing? Ever get it resolved?”
Cas smiled wickedly, “I've been working on it. I think I need some help with it.”
“Oh, for fuck's sake, Cas. Dirty talk? What-” he broke off in a startled gasp when Cas brought his leg up and rubbed between his legs.
“You like when I talk to you. You always have, haven't you? The heat comes off you and your soul sparkles with excitement.”
Dean looked so hopeful and whimpered slightly. “Please, Cas.”
“Lie down. I'm right here, Dean.”
Cas wet his lips and kissed Dean soundly as they traded places. He had always desired to touch Dean. At firs, it had been pure curiosity. He had merely wanted to see what things felt like on Earth, how humans felt. They were so different from Angels. Humans pulsed with energy and emotions. The Father had created a cacophony of noise and beauty and Cas knew now why he loved these humans so. They were free and beautiful. Dean was the freest among them. His soul soared and as Cas held him, he knew the man beneath him was destined for Heaven. There would be no man like him, and the world would remember him. But, after this night, no one would know Dean like this besides him ever again. He could feel Dean's love pulse beneath him. Dean was his now. Tonight would prove it to the both of them.
Cas was sure with Dean. He held him close and showered him with kisses. Dean was cautious and only touched the angel when Cas had touched him first. When Cas used his mouth on the sensitive parts of Dean's body, Dean hissed and whined. They were panting and naked, pressed close to each other, and when Cas fished out lube and condoms from the nightstand, Dean laughed outright.
“What happened to my virginal angel?”
“Just because I have not experienced this act does not mean that I don't understand the mechanics.”
Dean moaned as Cas stroked his erection with a slick hand. “Cas, just a little-That! Do that again,” he gasped.
Cas twisted his hand again, dragging up and down the shaft with confidence and strength.
“Where the hell did you learn that?”
Smiling wickedly, Cas penetrated him with one finger. As Dean writhed and panted, he whispered into his ear. “I liked how it felt when I did it.”
He watched Dean's eyes go wide. Instead of letting him reply, he kissed Dean, plunging in the moist cavern with his tongue and adding another finger, then one more. He waited until Dean was eagerly thrusting against his hand.
“Enough! Cas, please.”
Reluctantly, Cas pulled his fingers free.
Dean reached across him and grabbed the condom, opening it with his teeth. He scooted on his knees to slide the condom onto Cas's neglected cock.
“When I'm better, I promise I'll taste this,” he said hungrily into Cas's ear, gripping it tightly in his fist before putting the thin sheet of latex over his lover's cock.
Cas growled softly and pressed Dean back onto the bed. He kissed Dean's neck and licked a trail up his chest before positioning himself right at Dean's entrance. The penetration was slow. He wanted to make sure he didn't hurt Dean. For a few long moments, Dean pushed against him slightly feeling the pain. The discomfort Dean was feeling because of Cas broke the angel's heart a little.
“Dean, I can stop if-”
Instead of arguing, Dean wrapped one leg around Cas's waist and the other he lifted onto his shoulder, letting the hollow of his knee wrap around Cas's shoulder. With one hand, he gripped the headboard, and used the other to tilt Cas's pelvis slightly. At the change, Dean gave a shout.
“Fuck!” He squeezed his eyes shut. “There. Just fuck. Fuck me there.”
Careful to exploit that small point of pleasure deep in Dean's body, Cas thrust in deeply and pulled out slowly. Dean moaned his approval. They kept up a slow lazy pace until Dean was begging for more. Cas whispered promises and compliments into his ear and used one hand on Dean's dripping cock. A deep thrust and then a twist of his wrist wrung the most beautiful sounds out of his human lover. Perhaps, it was being tired or ill or having admitted that he was in love with an otherworldly creature, but Dean came with only a few uneven thrusts and tugs. His seed spurted onto Cas's belly and his own chest.
The pull of muscles deep inside that gripped Cas's cock snugly made the angel whimper, and he orgasmed with someone else for the first time. He made to pull out, but Dean touched his arm.
“Not yet.”
Cas smiled and laid his head on Dean's chest. “I never thought you would like this post coital touching.”
“Yeah. Well, no telling.”
“I would never dream of it.”
They stayed like that for a lone time until Cas's soft cock slipped from Dean's body. The hunter moaned softly at the loss.
“We can do this again?” Cas asked softly. “I can touch you again?”
Dean was silent, and Cas feared that he had sealed his fate, that Dean would never let him touch the hard muscles and the slick slopes of flesh he had come to love.
Sleepily, Dean lifted his head. “Of course you can.” Dean kissed his cheek. “I love you and...”
Cas looked up at him. “And?”
“You love me.” The angel smiled.
“Of course.” he agreed, and Dean let his head fall back onto the pillow.
When Cas was sure the hunter was asleep, he allowed himself to drift. He could see the snow fall from the bed. It was soothing. It reminded him of Dean. Powerful and beautiful but dangerous, too.
Not quite able to sleep like humans, he whispered to Dean's sleeping form. “Dean, I will always love you.” Silently, he added even when you no longer love yourself. And he kept watch as Dean slumbered safe and healthy and in his arms.
~
“What the hell are you doing?” Sam said gaping at the pair in disbelief.
“Stop being such a prude, Sam.” Dean was balancing the cup of tea precariously in his big hands, trying to mimic Cas's grace with his own cup.
“Since when do you drink tea?” he asked in disbelief.
Cas was seated at the small table in the kitchenette, while Dean sat on the counter and glowered at the cup. He was wearing pajama bottoms and a long sleeved shirt.
“Sam, would you care for a cup?”
Taking Sam's silence as an affirmative, he prepared him a cup of tea and pressed it into his large hands, noticing absently that they were different from Dean's. Dean had callouses that felt rough against his skin, but in the moment, they reminded him of being safe. He didn't like thinking of Sam in that way, so he brushed the though aside. “Drink. You'll feel better.”
Doing his best to ignore the way Cas had touched Dean's thigh for balance when he had reached up for the sugar to put in Sam's tea, Sam focused on the tea and sipped warily. A burst of something like cinnamon and lemons attacked his tongue. It was kind of good to tell the truth.
“So, we should probably get two rooms now that you're sleeping together.”
Dean choked on the tea, while Cas sipped contently.
“But I'm a little concerned about the Impala. I'm not going to ride in the back just so you two can get each other off in between hunts. Oh, and we'll definitely have to work out a system for-”
Cas cleared his throat and spoke calmly, “Sam, you should-”
The youngest Winchester dove towards the ground to avoid the teacup as it went sailing through the air right where his head had just been.
“Duck.” Cas finished and took another sip of tea. “Would you care for another cup, Dean?”
Title: Masala Chai
Recipient: alkalph
Author: kaylynnkie
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: none
Spoilers: Changing Channels
Summary: Dean comes down with Swine Flu. This was meant as a crack fic, but it came out as a twisty turny foray into the flu and time. A flu of epic proportions. Good times all around.
Author notes: Hope you enjoy, Alkaph!
It all started with a sneeze. Dean remembered that much, but then it had mutated into a fever complete with chills and night sweats, vomiting and diarrhea. Sam hadn't been around. He was helping out Ellen and Jo with something, he couldn't really remember. That was sometime just after Thanksgiving, which the two had spent at a Denny's. If Dean figured right, then Sam had been gone just under a month. He had spent the last half hour trying to convince his lungs that the inside of his chest was a nice place to be and trying to stem the flow of various body fluids as they leaked out of every orifice in his head. As of yet, he was failing spectacularly. NyQuil and an empty shot glass sat on the dresser next to a big box of tissues and his keys.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew there was a ghost in this hotel he was supposed to be hunting. In his current state though, he'd be lucky to even catch a glimpse of the thing. As if on cue, he launched into a coughing fit and wiped away the chunks of phlegm with a tissue. The apocalypse just wasn't fucking enough for these bastards, was it? He had to defeat hell and the devil while fighting the flu, too? If you asked him, he'd just ask to take the devil on. He was no match for the flu.
“Hey, Dean! Guess what? Dean?” Sam was back. Fan-fucking-tastic. “DEAN!”
“Dude, keep it down.” He had tried to sound menacing, but his voice came out raspy and pathetic.
“Hey, man. What happened?” Sam was down on his knee, running the back of his hand over Dean's forehead, and his eyebrows soared. “You're burning up. When was the last time you ate something?”
“I don't know. That burger I think.”
“At the gas station? That was four days ago!”
“Oh.” He rolled over and curled up into the pillow. “Tired, Sammy. Leave me alone.”
Sam pulled his hand away and watched his brother with concern. Being sick was one thing, but Dean looked awful. There were big bags under his eyes and the sheets were stiff with stale dried sweat.
“I'll order some soup.”
The thought of food made Dean want to retch, which he would have done if he had had any of the energy to retch. Instead, he coughed weakly.
“Please don't.”
For a minute, Sam looked like he was going to argue the point, but when he looked at Dean, his mouth twisted into a grimace. “Okay. No soup. But, Dean,” he knelt down. “you have to eat something or you won't get any better.”
“Don't care,” he declared before rolling over and wrapping the blankets around himself.
Sam left him before he said something that he would regret and headed towards the drug store around the corner, his cell phone in hand, whistling cheerfully.
~
“Yes, Sam?” Cas tilted his head thoughtfully at the youngest of the Winchester brothers.
Sam shifted nervously and bit at his nails. “Dean's sick.”
In a very carefully neutral move, one eyebrow went up on the angel's face. “Sick?”
“Yeah. But it's not normal,” he hastened to add. “He's got this fever and he won't take anything or eat. I'm just worried about him. You can use your angel mojo to take a look at him? Make sure he's okay?”
Cas was slightly disturbed that he hadn't felt the shift in Dean's aura. An illness should have been a blip on his radar as Dean would say. Not wanting to alarm the younger Winchester, he opted not to say anything.
Instead, he shook his head. “I don't know if I can heal him. He's not truly injured. Do you know that? If his body is...” he drifted off and shook his head. “An illness of the body influences the mind and the soul. I don't know if my grace is strong enough to heal him right now. His body will just...” He was looking at Sam with mild frustration, as if this would be so much easier if he were a child who would just know regardless of whether or not he could grasp what he was trying to say. “He is a strong man. He should be able to heal himself without my aid. Although, it will certainly take longer.” He added thoughtfully.
Sam chose not to be insulted at Cas's exasperation with him. “But you'll look?” His eyes were wide, and a small smile of desperation was threatening to break through.
“Of course I will.”
When they returned to the hotel room, Dean was tossing and turning on the mattress. The angel immediately touched his arm, and Dean went still. He made a soft noise and curled around the pillow.
“Dean?” Sam spoke softly, but his older brother didn't seem to hear him. “Hey, De-”
“It's alright, Sam. I'll talk to him. I need you to get me cold water, sugar, salt, lemons and this spice . The store in the other end of town should have it.” He removed a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to Sam. It had the name of what looked like an Indian spice.
“Is this...”
Cas smiled, a slight upturn of his lips. “It's perfectly safe. Just come back with these things when you find them all.”
“ 'Kay.” He looked over his shoulder as he was leaving, fear and doubt evident in his face, but nonetheless, he walked out and left Dean in Cas's capable hands.
~
“What the hell are you doing here, Cas?” Dean tried to sit up, but Cas's hand was on his chest, holding him down. He most definitely did not like that.
He shook his head and then tilted it at an angle. “You're ill.”
“Yeah. No shit, for real?”
Cas shook his head and looked up at the nightstand. “What is this?” He was holding up the bottle of NyQuil.
“Helps with the cough. It's for us poor weak humans when we get sick.”
Apparently, being sick made Dean introspective.
“Do you even know what it's like to get sick?” He fell back against the sheets in defeat. Cas noticed he was breathing hard and trembling.
“I have seen this before.” Cas touched Dean's forehead. “This is all over Asia and the Americas. You call it a virus I believe.”
Dean raised one eyebrow, trying to look annoyed but succeeding only in looking exhausted. “Aren't viruses incurable?”
For a long moment, Cas said nothing. If he were Sammy, Dean would have said that he was impressed, but with Cas, he was probably just contemplating what Dean meant in that mild manner of his.
“That's what humans say,” he replied with a shrug. “Merely because you haven't found the cure does not mean that there isn't a cure.”
“Whatever.” He took a deep breath and cleared his throat, coughing up phlegm and mucus.
Cas frowned. This was a disease that was killing people all over the world. He touched Dean's hand and found it to be cold and clammy, but he was sweating through the sheets. To his horror, he could see Dean's aura dimming. Death was lingering around him, and it made him fearful. The young man was strong, but the sickness was spreading through him with ferocity. It made Cas worry.
“Dean, you need to go to the doctor.”
“No, thanks.” He rolled over and shifted again. “I'm tired. What the hell can you do for me?” he added wearily.
The tone of his voice terrified Cas. Dead men spoke like Dean had.
Furious, Cas gripped his shoulder and forced him on his back facing him. “You will listen to me, Dean Winchester. This is what I can give to you .” He pressed his fingertips against the man's forehead and watched him slump into unconsciousness. Desperate, he lifted the knife Dean was keeping in the nightstand and gripped it tightly before pressing the tip into his arm. The blood flowed and he hissed at the sting of pain. It was still such a new sensation and one he was not prone to. Almost as terrifying as the palpable need he was feeling to take care of Dean.
There was no way he could allow Dean to die and continue to exist without him. He crouched on the floor and painted the small life force symbol. It was a web in a circle, similar to the shape of a dream catcher. Whatever life energy was draining out of Dean would become trapped in it, and when the ritual was complete, it would return to its rightful owner. Bowing his head, he focused his energy on Dean's aura, sensing his soul with his own and directed all of his grace into Dean's being. “I give to you life because it is rightly yours.”
~
“You are aware that he just had the flu? Granted, it was the swine flu, but still, Castiel.”
Cas glared at Gabriel. “His aura was bleeding.”
“It was flickering. Human souls do that when the body gets sick. It's why they have that out of body thing they always talk about so much.” Gabriel turned his head and was surprised by the slight smile on the other angel's lips. “Oh, Castiel. You dog, you. Get him when he can't fight back, eh?”
“I did no such thing. I healed him.”
He grinned. “You just forgot to tell him that his soul can fuel your grace because of your bond?”
“It may have slipped my mind,” he replied with a shrug. In all fairness, Cas had panicked after seeing Dean's aura bleed out. In his opinion, none of such a strong aura should have been allowed to leave its rightful soul.
Suddenly serious, Gabriel nodded. “A good man, a beautiful soul. I can see why you love him so deeply. Just be careful. Even angels forget themselves in the face of love.”
Cas would have turned to say something, but he knew the archangel was gone.
~
Dean was sleeping off the explosion of energy from the soul trap. Cas had been told that getting back residual soul energy was like having sexual intercourse. The initial experience is pleasant, but it requires a great deal of energy and can be exhausting. He pressed his cheek against Dean's body kneeling on the floor and still panting from the exertion of healing his charge.
Sam walked into the room with a plastic bag in hand. He looked furious.
“Cas, what the hell? Cardamom, man? You should have seen the look I got from the guy at the store. My brother is sick as hell and you sent me to buy tea?” But his fury melted away when he saw Cas on his knees, his blood dripping onto the floor and Dean unconscious on the bed. When he spoke next, his voice was small and shook. “Cas, what happened?”
“Perhaps, I should wake Dean.”
Mute, Sam nodded.
~
“You're saying he had swine flu?”
Dean was still swaying slightly from exhaustion, but he still managed to look furious. “You used your grace to do this?”
Cas turned to Sam, pointedly ignoring Dean. “He was dying. I won't let him come to harm now. Not when I can protect him.”
Across from him, Sam sat down heavily. He could see the emotions battling in his eyes. He wanted to scream and push Cas away, but Cas could see the gratefulness in the young man's eyes, too.
“You healed him?”
Cas nodded. “And his body will still generate the antibodies. He is safe for now.”
Sitting back, Sam shook his head. This was...beyond insane to say the least, but the earnest look in Cas's eyes stopped him. Somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that Dean would never come to harm if Cas were near. He though, a long time ago, that Cas was only following orders, but somewhere along the line it became more than that. At some point, Cas wasn't just following orders, he was on a mission. Dean was his mission, Sam realized suddenly. It wasn't because God told him to or the other angels threatened him with harm if he refused. Castiel was in love with his brother. The Angel of Thursday's heart and soul burned for Dean Winchester: celebrated womanizer and one night stand man.
“Cas-”
But the angel seemed to be even better than Dean at avoiding things he didn't want to talk about. “Did you buy the ingredients?”
“Yeah. They're here.”
Cas picked up the bag and Sam followed him into the kitchenette. Behind them Dean was fuming. He didn't follow.
“This will help.” He said as he removed the loose tea leaves.
Sam snorted. “Tea?”
The angel didn't seem bothered in the least. “Why do you think so many cultures celebrate the healing properties of tea leaves? It is truly a shame Americans appreciate coffee. It isn't good for them.”
“This is for him, isn't it?”
Cas looked perplexed. “Of course. Why-”
“No. I mean all of this. The healing, the desertion, all these angels coming after us. It's all because of Dean?”
Cas was quiet. “Angels can choose to see the entirety of time if our Father offers it to us.”
Talk about changing the subject. “Have you seen it?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
The smile Cas gave to him was bitter and remorseful as if he wanted to go back and start this conversation over. “I am very glad I knew you as you are now, Sam Winchester. ”
The implication was like a blow to the chest. Swallowing, he carried on, “And Dean? What about him?”
“I will know him.”
Sam breathed a sigh of relief and he didn't know why, but the next words Cas spoke chilled him.
“Before I am no longer able to.”
~
Dean was glaring out the window. The sun was going down and it was starting to snow. On any other day the snow alone would be enough to calm him, but it was going to take a lot more than that to soothe him. He turned slowly on Cas.
“What were you thinking?” When the angel didn't reply, he took a step forward. “Cas, don't you dare give me the silent treatment. You could have-” He stopped short, breathing hard. “Hell, I don't even know what you could have done to yourself. Your grace?” he whispered.
Slowly, Cas shook his head. “This is your life, Dean”
“Exactly! my life. I fail to see how that affects you. ”
Cas shot him a hurt look. “Of course it impacts me. It impacts you.”
Suddenly, the anger flared up and raged through him. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Dean hissed. “You can't waste your grace on me!”
Sam had gone out after he and Cas had talked, offering Dean some excuse.
He shook his head. “We're bonded. I can't let you die.”
“I would have been fine.” He insisted pushing Cas into the wall hard. His hands were shaking, adrenaline was pumping through him, probably another side effect of the soul trap.
Blue eyes flashed with something dark and dangerous before Dean was the one pinned against the wall, struggling against Cas's strength.
“You were dying. Your spirit was bleeding.” He snarled, something wrecked and broken in his voice. “Humans cannot heal the spirit once it begins to bleed. No matter...” he trailed off, looking away. “You cannot die. You have work to do here on Earth.” He didn't entirely trust what Gabriel had said. It still worried him that he had seen Dean's essence bleed out.
“I-”
Cas leaned in and stopped just short of Dean's lips. “I would not have you die, Dean Winchester.” And he kissed the mortal in his charge, nothing more than a soft brush of lips, but the touch was like fire. It rolled through Dean and the feeling warmed him like glowing embers. “You're soul is one of the most beautiful I have seen.
“You not secretly a chick under all that are you?”
“Angels have no sex.” He cocked his head and his voice rumbled with amusement.
Dean's mouth curved up into a slight smile. “But you can have it, right?”
He dragged Cas to him and captured his lips in a kiss that bordered on feral. His arm trembled slightly and there was definitely an ache in his back from being up against the wall.
“You're weak.” Cas observed, relieving the pressure by pushing up on Dean's hips. “You should be in bed. Humans need to rest when they have been ill.”
Dean shook his head. “I'm fairly sure that I've heard that before.” He turned for the bed and paused when Cas didn't follow him. “C'mon. You're coming with me.”
The angel cocked his head, but he complied when Dean gripped his hand and tugged him towards the bed. They laid together quietly, but Dean proved to be the one who couldn't stay still.
“I want this, Cas. If it's...” He swallowed. “I don't want this to be the last chance I ever got to tell you.”
Dean rolled onto his side and Cas copied the action. “What is it, Dean?”
He kissed Cas's shoulder. “I love you, feather-brain.”
Cas breathed deeply and exhaled shakily. “Dean.”
“Please, shut up.” He was blushing and Cas watched the scarlet color his face across his cheeks and up to the roots of his hair. Shyly, he ran his fingertips across his forehead. This was all for him. Dean was nervous and excited because of him.
“This is love? This need?” He twisted so that Dean was straddling his hips and fell flush against his chest. “The warmth I feel when you touch me is so much, too much, but I like it. I like this need to be with you. I have always loved you, Dean Winchester. From the moment I saw your soul, I knew there was no other creature as beautiful and there would never be another as special or as captivating.”
“Why do you always have to be so dramatic?” he groaned, burying his face in Cas's rumpled dress shirt.
“Because I am a pompous angel.”
Dean looked up at with wide eyes and his jaw slack. “Was that a joke, Cas? That was sarcasm? Cas. Wow.”
He chuckled a little and Cas found that the sound tugged at something in his belly and made heat pool between his legs. “Dean.”
When he looked up, there was something dark in Dean's eyes. The hunter wanted something, and it looked like he was going to get it.
“So, that virgin thing? Ever get it resolved?”
Cas smiled wickedly, “I've been working on it. I think I need some help with it.”
“Oh, for fuck's sake, Cas. Dirty talk? What-” he broke off in a startled gasp when Cas brought his leg up and rubbed between his legs.
“You like when I talk to you. You always have, haven't you? The heat comes off you and your soul sparkles with excitement.”
Dean looked so hopeful and whimpered slightly. “Please, Cas.”
“Lie down. I'm right here, Dean.”
Cas wet his lips and kissed Dean soundly as they traded places. He had always desired to touch Dean. At firs, it had been pure curiosity. He had merely wanted to see what things felt like on Earth, how humans felt. They were so different from Angels. Humans pulsed with energy and emotions. The Father had created a cacophony of noise and beauty and Cas knew now why he loved these humans so. They were free and beautiful. Dean was the freest among them. His soul soared and as Cas held him, he knew the man beneath him was destined for Heaven. There would be no man like him, and the world would remember him. But, after this night, no one would know Dean like this besides him ever again. He could feel Dean's love pulse beneath him. Dean was his now. Tonight would prove it to the both of them.
Cas was sure with Dean. He held him close and showered him with kisses. Dean was cautious and only touched the angel when Cas had touched him first. When Cas used his mouth on the sensitive parts of Dean's body, Dean hissed and whined. They were panting and naked, pressed close to each other, and when Cas fished out lube and condoms from the nightstand, Dean laughed outright.
“What happened to my virginal angel?”
“Just because I have not experienced this act does not mean that I don't understand the mechanics.”
Dean moaned as Cas stroked his erection with a slick hand. “Cas, just a little-That! Do that again,” he gasped.
Cas twisted his hand again, dragging up and down the shaft with confidence and strength.
“Where the hell did you learn that?”
Smiling wickedly, Cas penetrated him with one finger. As Dean writhed and panted, he whispered into his ear. “I liked how it felt when I did it.”
He watched Dean's eyes go wide. Instead of letting him reply, he kissed Dean, plunging in the moist cavern with his tongue and adding another finger, then one more. He waited until Dean was eagerly thrusting against his hand.
“Enough! Cas, please.”
Reluctantly, Cas pulled his fingers free.
Dean reached across him and grabbed the condom, opening it with his teeth. He scooted on his knees to slide the condom onto Cas's neglected cock.
“When I'm better, I promise I'll taste this,” he said hungrily into Cas's ear, gripping it tightly in his fist before putting the thin sheet of latex over his lover's cock.
Cas growled softly and pressed Dean back onto the bed. He kissed Dean's neck and licked a trail up his chest before positioning himself right at Dean's entrance. The penetration was slow. He wanted to make sure he didn't hurt Dean. For a few long moments, Dean pushed against him slightly feeling the pain. The discomfort Dean was feeling because of Cas broke the angel's heart a little.
“Dean, I can stop if-”
Instead of arguing, Dean wrapped one leg around Cas's waist and the other he lifted onto his shoulder, letting the hollow of his knee wrap around Cas's shoulder. With one hand, he gripped the headboard, and used the other to tilt Cas's pelvis slightly. At the change, Dean gave a shout.
“Fuck!” He squeezed his eyes shut. “There. Just fuck. Fuck me there.”
Careful to exploit that small point of pleasure deep in Dean's body, Cas thrust in deeply and pulled out slowly. Dean moaned his approval. They kept up a slow lazy pace until Dean was begging for more. Cas whispered promises and compliments into his ear and used one hand on Dean's dripping cock. A deep thrust and then a twist of his wrist wrung the most beautiful sounds out of his human lover. Perhaps, it was being tired or ill or having admitted that he was in love with an otherworldly creature, but Dean came with only a few uneven thrusts and tugs. His seed spurted onto Cas's belly and his own chest.
The pull of muscles deep inside that gripped Cas's cock snugly made the angel whimper, and he orgasmed with someone else for the first time. He made to pull out, but Dean touched his arm.
“Not yet.”
Cas smiled and laid his head on Dean's chest. “I never thought you would like this post coital touching.”
“Yeah. Well, no telling.”
“I would never dream of it.”
They stayed like that for a lone time until Cas's soft cock slipped from Dean's body. The hunter moaned softly at the loss.
“We can do this again?” Cas asked softly. “I can touch you again?”
Dean was silent, and Cas feared that he had sealed his fate, that Dean would never let him touch the hard muscles and the slick slopes of flesh he had come to love.
Sleepily, Dean lifted his head. “Of course you can.” Dean kissed his cheek. “I love you and...”
Cas looked up at him. “And?”
“You love me.” The angel smiled.
“Of course.” he agreed, and Dean let his head fall back onto the pillow.
When Cas was sure the hunter was asleep, he allowed himself to drift. He could see the snow fall from the bed. It was soothing. It reminded him of Dean. Powerful and beautiful but dangerous, too.
Not quite able to sleep like humans, he whispered to Dean's sleeping form. “Dean, I will always love you.” Silently, he added even when you no longer love yourself. And he kept watch as Dean slumbered safe and healthy and in his arms.
~
“What the hell are you doing?” Sam said gaping at the pair in disbelief.
“Stop being such a prude, Sam.” Dean was balancing the cup of tea precariously in his big hands, trying to mimic Cas's grace with his own cup.
“Since when do you drink tea?” he asked in disbelief.
Cas was seated at the small table in the kitchenette, while Dean sat on the counter and glowered at the cup. He was wearing pajama bottoms and a long sleeved shirt.
“Sam, would you care for a cup?”
Taking Sam's silence as an affirmative, he prepared him a cup of tea and pressed it into his large hands, noticing absently that they were different from Dean's. Dean had callouses that felt rough against his skin, but in the moment, they reminded him of being safe. He didn't like thinking of Sam in that way, so he brushed the though aside. “Drink. You'll feel better.”
Doing his best to ignore the way Cas had touched Dean's thigh for balance when he had reached up for the sugar to put in Sam's tea, Sam focused on the tea and sipped warily. A burst of something like cinnamon and lemons attacked his tongue. It was kind of good to tell the truth.
“So, we should probably get two rooms now that you're sleeping together.”
Dean choked on the tea, while Cas sipped contently.
“But I'm a little concerned about the Impala. I'm not going to ride in the back just so you two can get each other off in between hunts. Oh, and we'll definitely have to work out a system for-”
Cas cleared his throat and spoke calmly, “Sam, you should-”
The youngest Winchester dove towards the ground to avoid the teacup as it went sailing through the air right where his head had just been.
“Duck.” Cas finished and took another sip of tea. “Would you care for another cup, Dean?”