Is there anybody out there?
I miss this place. Raise your hand if you're still here.
Tonight I am in a hotel room in Troy, New York - my annual solo hotel weekend for cat-free sleep, junk food, and trashy magazines. I missed it last year, when there was no going anywhere. Things are worse now, but we are better at managing them.
One thing I decided to do during this hotel hiatus was work on saving my old LJ posts to a flash drive. So I've been working my way through all of the Januaries. And it's been great. Seeing how much I have changed, and how little. I take some comfort in reading about my insecurities, fears of screwing everything up, and acknowledging that I feel the same way now, and that I wasn't really screwing up all that badly back then.
Troy has a place in my heart. I used to work in this city. My job was central to my life, or maybe it was my life. I felt passionate about it and I loved the people I worked with, the job I did. We were a team united in a desperate campaign to save the place. I still have dreams about it. Tonight, from this hotel room, from my west-facing window, I watched what have to have been thousands of crows flying in the direction of that place, and I remembered standing in the west-facing windows there, watching the crows come in to roost. It was spectacular.
I don't know if I'm doing LiveJournal again. I have been trying to start my hand-written journal again, and one or the other will prevail, or neither will.