**show me where the sun comes through the sky...**
why am i still up?? i dont even know what time it is in my head, somewhere between cali time and ny time. mmm, time...
i havent written in helllof long cuz ive been crazy busy and plus its been too daunting to even try to explain my life to you all.
somehow the last solid month of my summer was spent with sam, minus a few hours here and there. right after i last wrote, sam got kicked out of his nashville band and moved back to oakland and that changed everything. it was suddenly sam and diana facing life together, day and night. he got close to my family and i got close to his and he and i got to know each other like the backs of our hands (awkward) and, never could i have predicted it, we're in love and all sappy and fucking rediculous. its wonderful.
we're planning on living together after i graduate and marriage is discussed and what the hell happened to future-phobic-me!
anyway, you know its a great summer when it ends with a tearfull goodbye with a boy at the airport. he said after he dropped me off he went home and crawled into bed with his dad who held him as he sobbed :( this is a boy who hasnt cried since dealing with his mom dying when he was ten. thats a powerful sign to him and he's not ready to let that go. SO, long distance relationship, here i come! its worth it to me right now, though. to be loved like he loves me is something i never even thought was possible. maybe its cuz im his first love... thats a powerful thing. i just wish i didnt have to leave him.
but school will be good this year. im really looking forward to my living situation and seeing everyone again and actually appreciating the final year rather than feeling trapped in an endless timeless subzero middle of nowhere haze. yay, hamilton! haha. no, its gonna be a good time this year, i can feel it. there are a lot of good things about hamilton, and those are all i intend to focus on this year. fuck the rest.
lalala, it must be time for bed. night, lovely people
i havent written in helllof long cuz ive been crazy busy and plus its been too daunting to even try to explain my life to you all.
somehow the last solid month of my summer was spent with sam, minus a few hours here and there. right after i last wrote, sam got kicked out of his nashville band and moved back to oakland and that changed everything. it was suddenly sam and diana facing life together, day and night. he got close to my family and i got close to his and he and i got to know each other like the backs of our hands (awkward) and, never could i have predicted it, we're in love and all sappy and fucking rediculous. its wonderful.
we're planning on living together after i graduate and marriage is discussed and what the hell happened to future-phobic-me!
anyway, you know its a great summer when it ends with a tearfull goodbye with a boy at the airport. he said after he dropped me off he went home and crawled into bed with his dad who held him as he sobbed :( this is a boy who hasnt cried since dealing with his mom dying when he was ten. thats a powerful sign to him and he's not ready to let that go. SO, long distance relationship, here i come! its worth it to me right now, though. to be loved like he loves me is something i never even thought was possible. maybe its cuz im his first love... thats a powerful thing. i just wish i didnt have to leave him.
but school will be good this year. im really looking forward to my living situation and seeing everyone again and actually appreciating the final year rather than feeling trapped in an endless timeless subzero middle of nowhere haze. yay, hamilton! haha. no, its gonna be a good time this year, i can feel it. there are a lot of good things about hamilton, and those are all i intend to focus on this year. fuck the rest.
lalala, it must be time for bed. night, lovely people