wow! diana is posting!
happiness doesnt come easily anymore. im not sure it ever really did, though, but something has changed. the world isnt giving me anything to lean on, i guess thats the difference. it used to be that my little world might fall apart but the greater world kept on going and i had blind faith in it. now that crutch is gone.
i was walking to class today listening to my headphones and thinking about my desire to ask "why" about everything and to make moral judgments, and i tried to imagine what it would be like to observe without judging, and suddenly all of the people walking by me made me want to smile uncontrollably. by the time i got to soc i was all smiles! luckily meg vw was too, so we just smiled together and it was lovely.
but objective observation is not the answer. i cant maintain that mindset; its not who i am. im always wondering what motivated people to do things and what the underlying problems are that create suffering in individuals and society etc. plus, sean's mind is much more cut out for objective observing and yet he's depressed all the time anyway. its not the key to happiness, but its a good exercise for me.
so what IS the key to happiness for me? during class i had some ideas and wrote them down. (ps im attracted to my soc prof!!)
What's important to me:
**To realize the limitations of my own perceptions and viewpoints
**To allow for the possibility of thoughts without value judgments
**To not stop asking why (bc thats me) but to continue to ask why even after i think i know
**To feel ok about feeling and thinking whatever i think and feel
**To let others have their own pain and their own judgments, even of me; to separate enough to view the space between their judgment and my existance
**To take care of myself
**To enjoy the beauty in the world and let it go; to realize that you dont need to contain something to appreciate it
yay that's my seven self-guidelines! feels good to have something organized to hold all of these ideas for me.
i was walking to class today listening to my headphones and thinking about my desire to ask "why" about everything and to make moral judgments, and i tried to imagine what it would be like to observe without judging, and suddenly all of the people walking by me made me want to smile uncontrollably. by the time i got to soc i was all smiles! luckily meg vw was too, so we just smiled together and it was lovely.
but objective observation is not the answer. i cant maintain that mindset; its not who i am. im always wondering what motivated people to do things and what the underlying problems are that create suffering in individuals and society etc. plus, sean's mind is much more cut out for objective observing and yet he's depressed all the time anyway. its not the key to happiness, but its a good exercise for me.
so what IS the key to happiness for me? during class i had some ideas and wrote them down. (ps im attracted to my soc prof!!)
What's important to me:
**To realize the limitations of my own perceptions and viewpoints
**To allow for the possibility of thoughts without value judgments
**To not stop asking why (bc thats me) but to continue to ask why even after i think i know
**To feel ok about feeling and thinking whatever i think and feel
**To let others have their own pain and their own judgments, even of me; to separate enough to view the space between their judgment and my existance
**To take care of myself
**To enjoy the beauty in the world and let it go; to realize that you dont need to contain something to appreciate it
yay that's my seven self-guidelines! feels good to have something organized to hold all of these ideas for me.