(no subject)
Okay so here I am on break from thus far a long night at work. I was exhausted upon starting my shift and now due to a pot of coffee and about 6 excedrine migraine pills I am so wired I could bounce literally off of the walls...
But that is besides the point I have come to rant a little bit because it seems that I am misunderstood...
See I came down here to Tennessee... I never thought that I would meet the equivalent of my mom a few years younger mind you in Scotts brothers wife... Dont get me wrong shes got a heart of gold but she follows the same path as my mother...
Shes plunged herself deep within the computer world and has no education. She takes off with her children during the week to Craigs moms house ( Craig is scotts bro) Because there she doesnt have to clean or anything like that.
I guess Craig is pissed at me because he heard me agreeing with Pops (thier dad) when he was ragging on April, the wife... WELL...
Since I have gotten here I have been the one with the steady work... I have worked more than others in this house who either have been on leave from work due to illness OR just dont have a job period. I guess I have always been known for having at least one job and trust me I am looking and striving for better...
Craig complained that I do laundry to much and asked me to cut back... WHAT????!!! WTF??? I am the only one here besides him that takes the initiative to wash the clothes lying around the house... I am the one who cleaned all of the laundry out of the laundry room, which mind you had been there for A LONG TIME!!!!!!!!
I am the only one who does the dishes!!! So I bitch when I have the house clean and on the weekends April and the kids show up to trash it and then leave without so much as picking up anything... I feel disrespected in a sense yet I cant stand to live with the dirty dishes piling up that I have not used...
She has a heart of gold but shes lazy, doesnt really work, and never cleans the house really. Its irritating... The floor is rotting out in the kitchen because she isnt willing to buy a mat for the dogs water and food dishes to go on... Or if someone is willing to buy the mat well whatever.
Its been drilled in my head from day one that this is supposed to be my home as well. I am supposed to feel comfortable here. Well I dont sometimes because of the mess and Scott wonders why I like to stay in my clean lil room facing the backyard with a heavy ass sliding glass door that is broken so its hard to open because the wheels broke off of the track... Trust me I have broken what lil nails I have off when trying to open the door... Anyways...
Apparently I am no longer allowed to agree with pops and thus far am supposed to keep my mouth shut about April... I know she has her problems and all but there is help out there if you really desire to change.
(tummy hurts too much coffee)
So how can I feel like this is home? I feel like a child with multiple parents roaming around. Craig has issues with me slightly but yet doesnt show me that he thinks I am an adult because if he has anything to say to me it comes from Scotts mouth... Messenger boy...
I am no longer going to follow complaints unless they are brought to me specifically. I am more of an adult than some in this house and I think I deserve some respect... Needless to say I cant wait to be in the truck. I dont think this house is going to ever really completely feel like home... I have since given up on the dishes they can rot to shit for all I care and I no longer clean the bathroom and once it gets so yucky I cant stand it I will go downstairs and use pops basement bathroom since he and I seem to be the only people that can keep anything really clean.
Maybe I am just a bitch but I cant stand to live in filth. Messy sure, filthy NO... I do a lot around the house fixing things and cleaning things with Scott trying to improve the homes condition...
Anyways the point being is that I cant let this feel like home because when i do I get anal about how things look and how things are kept etc...
So currently I have no home I just stay here for the time being and cant wait to get my own damn car and my own place... I know this is supposed to feel like home but it cant when i cant have opinions and cant get the house nice, and have "parentals" running around... I dont need more parents I have two fuck up parents in michigan and one mommy (gma) I miss her...
But I am madly in love with Scott and wish to remain by his side through thick and thin... Its been almost 5 months of us together and i have no regrets being with him. I will put up with all the shit raining down on me in the world just to feel his arms around me and his lips touch mine...
For now my rant is over... I still feel sick and threw up some of the coffee... I am fine just need to finish work and get some needed sleep that I have been lacking in for days...
Love and miss you all,
Deana
But that is besides the point I have come to rant a little bit because it seems that I am misunderstood...
See I came down here to Tennessee... I never thought that I would meet the equivalent of my mom a few years younger mind you in Scotts brothers wife... Dont get me wrong shes got a heart of gold but she follows the same path as my mother...
Shes plunged herself deep within the computer world and has no education. She takes off with her children during the week to Craigs moms house ( Craig is scotts bro) Because there she doesnt have to clean or anything like that.
I guess Craig is pissed at me because he heard me agreeing with Pops (thier dad) when he was ragging on April, the wife... WELL...
Since I have gotten here I have been the one with the steady work... I have worked more than others in this house who either have been on leave from work due to illness OR just dont have a job period. I guess I have always been known for having at least one job and trust me I am looking and striving for better...
Craig complained that I do laundry to much and asked me to cut back... WHAT????!!! WTF??? I am the only one here besides him that takes the initiative to wash the clothes lying around the house... I am the one who cleaned all of the laundry out of the laundry room, which mind you had been there for A LONG TIME!!!!!!!!
I am the only one who does the dishes!!! So I bitch when I have the house clean and on the weekends April and the kids show up to trash it and then leave without so much as picking up anything... I feel disrespected in a sense yet I cant stand to live with the dirty dishes piling up that I have not used...
She has a heart of gold but shes lazy, doesnt really work, and never cleans the house really. Its irritating... The floor is rotting out in the kitchen because she isnt willing to buy a mat for the dogs water and food dishes to go on... Or if someone is willing to buy the mat well whatever.
Its been drilled in my head from day one that this is supposed to be my home as well. I am supposed to feel comfortable here. Well I dont sometimes because of the mess and Scott wonders why I like to stay in my clean lil room facing the backyard with a heavy ass sliding glass door that is broken so its hard to open because the wheels broke off of the track... Trust me I have broken what lil nails I have off when trying to open the door... Anyways...
Apparently I am no longer allowed to agree with pops and thus far am supposed to keep my mouth shut about April... I know she has her problems and all but there is help out there if you really desire to change.
(tummy hurts too much coffee)
So how can I feel like this is home? I feel like a child with multiple parents roaming around. Craig has issues with me slightly but yet doesnt show me that he thinks I am an adult because if he has anything to say to me it comes from Scotts mouth... Messenger boy...
I am no longer going to follow complaints unless they are brought to me specifically. I am more of an adult than some in this house and I think I deserve some respect... Needless to say I cant wait to be in the truck. I dont think this house is going to ever really completely feel like home... I have since given up on the dishes they can rot to shit for all I care and I no longer clean the bathroom and once it gets so yucky I cant stand it I will go downstairs and use pops basement bathroom since he and I seem to be the only people that can keep anything really clean.
Maybe I am just a bitch but I cant stand to live in filth. Messy sure, filthy NO... I do a lot around the house fixing things and cleaning things with Scott trying to improve the homes condition...
Anyways the point being is that I cant let this feel like home because when i do I get anal about how things look and how things are kept etc...
So currently I have no home I just stay here for the time being and cant wait to get my own damn car and my own place... I know this is supposed to feel like home but it cant when i cant have opinions and cant get the house nice, and have "parentals" running around... I dont need more parents I have two fuck up parents in michigan and one mommy (gma) I miss her...
But I am madly in love with Scott and wish to remain by his side through thick and thin... Its been almost 5 months of us together and i have no regrets being with him. I will put up with all the shit raining down on me in the world just to feel his arms around me and his lips touch mine...
For now my rant is over... I still feel sick and threw up some of the coffee... I am fine just need to finish work and get some needed sleep that I have been lacking in for days...
Love and miss you all,
Deana