Forbidden Love Chapter 16
Title: Forbidden Love
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
He opened his eyes when he felt someone sat beside him. He turned and almost cheered when he saw Yamada was the one. He smiled. “You okay?”
Yamada nodded many times. “I’m totally fine. They’re just exaggerating everything. I’m just too tired and need more sleep.”
Takaki breathed heavily. “Because I heard that you’re mute for some times, and I didn’t even know about it. Yes you didn’t reply my messages, you didn’t pick my calls, but you did it too many times before, so I thought it was your bad days again when you’re mad at me for something very unreasonable.”
Yamada chuckled a little for the explanation, and giggled when he remembered those days. “I’m really sorry, because you’re so hot that everybody’s eyes looked like want to eat you alive. I was just jealous. Why should you be that hot?”
Takaki turned to him. “So, it’s because of my hotness? I’m sorry, I didn’t ask God to create me to be this hot.”
Yamada laughed lightly, tried hard not to be too loud.
Takaki looked at the others and breathed heavily again. “They told me about the possible reason of your mute.”
Yamada turned to Takaki and sighed. “Shinkawa?”
Takaki shrugged. “There’s absolutely nothing between us and you do really know about it.”
Yamada smiled and tapped Takaki’s arm. “I know. Don’t worry about it. You’ve been close since Suikyu, and there’s nothing between you. I do know about it.” Yamada breathed heavily. “It’s just ..., from anywhere I see you look so good together.”
Takaki closed his eyes and muttered weakly. “Ryosuke ... “
“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t mean anything. I just said what I’ve been thinking lately. It is true. You look so good together. I don’t know how to describe it, but you and her ..., it’s just ..., fit.”
Takaki turned and Yamada could see a slight hurt in his eyes, made him raise his hands up to apologize.
“I’m sorry. Just take it as a compliment, okay? I don’t mean anything. Really. I know that you love me until you can’t breathe without saying my name, right?”
Takaki sighed with relief and smiled.
“But I’ve been thinking about everything lately.” Yamada folded his leg and made himself as comfortable as he could. He breathed heavily and closed his eyes for a while. He opened them again and smiled. “I forced myself to think about everything actually, and I’ve made a conclusion that you’re totally right.”
Takaki gripped his towel while wiping the remnants of sweat off his forehead. He took a little glance to Yamada but said nothing. He sighed heavily and looked around. The practice was over but everybody was still in the room. They sprawled all over the floor and chatted lightly. He stopped for a while on Hikaru and Yabu who looked very tense in their conversation, but his focus distracted right away when he felt Yamada moved closer to him.
He decided to sit far away from the other when the choreographer dismissed them but didn’t expect that Yamada would follow him. It didn’t mean that he hate it. It was more like he enjoyed their togetherness, because deep inside him he felt the longing for the younger. He wanted to snuggle. He wanted to hug him, and let everything slide just like that. He wanted all of the people would go away and left them alone so they could spent the time together without any interruption.
Takaki closed his eyes and smiled lightly.
“Fight! I’m behind you.”
The words kept ringing since he woke up that morning. He felt everybody would support him now so he decided to fight for their love. He felt he could do anything to make Yamada happy. He would do everything to stay beside Yamada. He would fight every storm to keep Yamada beside him.
Takaki opened his eyes and sighed heavily. All the spirit that burned inside him since he woke up this morning suddenly faded away right after Yamada declared his agreement. He never saw it coming. He didn’t expect it would come.
“Maybe you’re right after all.” Yamada mumbled a little loud. “No. Perhaps you’re right.” He gulped hard after the words.
Takaki suddenly felt a little pang in his heart. “What do you mean?” Still, he asked.
Yamada once again gulped. “That we should end this.”
Takaki chuckled a little after a little trance. “Finally you agreed me.”
Yamada smiled bitterly. “Let’s just be logic. We are living in the world where moral code is everything. We should follow the norm strictly. Every eyes darted to us. A lot of youngsters out there made us as a role model of their life. They copied everything we do. If we insist to continue this, one day they will definitely found out, and everything will collapse. All the efforts we’ve made. All the trust we’ve built.”
Takaki could hear his heart broke. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth hard to prevent the tears that suddenly forced to stream.
“You’re absolutely right when you said that we will break the group if we insist to continue this. We should definitely end this.”
Takaki didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move. He felt his body was glued to the floor. He couldn’t even move his fingertips.
Is this how you feel when I told you to give up? It hurts so much until you lost your strength to even move your finger. You said it once to me and I lost my will to move from my place. How was your feeling when I told you about it many times? You must be crazy. You must lost your will to live.
Oh my God!
I’m so sorry, Ryosuke. I didn’t know that I hurt you that much.
“We are against the world. Not just one or two people, but the whole world will go against us. They will punish not just the both of us, but also all the people who defends us. They will be doomed if we still keep this relationship on.”
Takaki spread his gaze throughout the room, accidentally exchanging glances with Chinen and Inoo who were staring at him sharply. He immediately averted his eyes from them, avoiding their silent questions. He knew they smelt something. They’re the smartest persons he had even known. It wasn’t very obvious that they knew something.
“So, let’s end this.”
Takaki closed his eyes but didn’t give any reply to Yamada. He tried hard to ease his feeling that suddenly became melancholy.
I should be happy because you finally agreed me to end our relationship? But why it feels so hard to let you go? I don’t want to loose you. I want to hug you forever. I want you to stay beside me forever. Please. Tell me that I’m dreaming. Tell me that you’re just joking. Tell me that you’re not serious.
“Let’s live this life normally like everybody do. Falling in love with girls, marry them one day, and having children. It sounds beautiful, isn’t it? Building our own family.”
Takaki opened his eyes but didn’t dare to look at Yamada. “It is. But are you sure you can do it? Falling in love with someone else? With a girl?”
I don’t think I can do it, Ryosuke. I love you. I gave my heart all for you. I don’t have a room left for someone else. I gave all my love for you. I don’t think I can love anyone else like I love you. You’re my everything. I don’t know what will happen to me if we’re really over.
Yamada smiled again. He looked down to his lap and sighed. “I know it’s hard, but at least we should try. We bet for everybody’s fate if we insist to be selfish. It is time to give up. It is time to give Fate to decide where we should go. It is time to go back to our track.”
Takaki smiled bitterly. “So, you finally agreed me. Why so sudden?”
Yamada chuckled lightly. “I’ve been mute for sometimes, that’s what they told you, but actually I’ve been thinking over and over, about everything. About what will happen if we keep going with everything, and I see our collapse in the end. I don’t want that to happen. I love you, but JUMP is very important to me. It’s very important to you too. It’s very important to everyone too. It’s something that we should cherish because it is our home. I know we will loose our happiness if we loose our home, so I finally decided that we should choose. I finally understand why you always said that we should give up. I finally understand why you always said that we will take the rest to their doom if we insist to keep going with our love. They will lose their home. They will suffer to their death and you don’t want that to happen. I finally understand everything.”
Takaki closed his eyes and leaned to the wall. He felt all empty so sudden. He suddenly lost his will of doing everything. He wanted to just disappear.
Yamada didn’t say anything more. He just sat there, enjoying the warmth that radiating from Takaki’s body.
To be honest, I don’t want to loose you. I want to stay forever beside you. I want to live this life with you beside me. Every time I open my eyes, I want to always see you. Forever.
Author: dean_itoh
Pairing/Subject: Takaki Yuya/Yamada Ryosuke
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: You know that the boys aren't mine~
Summary: Sometimes love is just to let go
He opened his eyes when he felt someone sat beside him. He turned and almost cheered when he saw Yamada was the one. He smiled. “You okay?”
Yamada nodded many times. “I’m totally fine. They’re just exaggerating everything. I’m just too tired and need more sleep.”
Takaki breathed heavily. “Because I heard that you’re mute for some times, and I didn’t even know about it. Yes you didn’t reply my messages, you didn’t pick my calls, but you did it too many times before, so I thought it was your bad days again when you’re mad at me for something very unreasonable.”
Yamada chuckled a little for the explanation, and giggled when he remembered those days. “I’m really sorry, because you’re so hot that everybody’s eyes looked like want to eat you alive. I was just jealous. Why should you be that hot?”
Takaki turned to him. “So, it’s because of my hotness? I’m sorry, I didn’t ask God to create me to be this hot.”
Yamada laughed lightly, tried hard not to be too loud.
Takaki looked at the others and breathed heavily again. “They told me about the possible reason of your mute.”
Yamada turned to Takaki and sighed. “Shinkawa?”
Takaki shrugged. “There’s absolutely nothing between us and you do really know about it.”
Yamada smiled and tapped Takaki’s arm. “I know. Don’t worry about it. You’ve been close since Suikyu, and there’s nothing between you. I do know about it.” Yamada breathed heavily. “It’s just ..., from anywhere I see you look so good together.”
Takaki closed his eyes and muttered weakly. “Ryosuke ... “
“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t mean anything. I just said what I’ve been thinking lately. It is true. You look so good together. I don’t know how to describe it, but you and her ..., it’s just ..., fit.”
Takaki turned and Yamada could see a slight hurt in his eyes, made him raise his hands up to apologize.
“I’m sorry. Just take it as a compliment, okay? I don’t mean anything. Really. I know that you love me until you can’t breathe without saying my name, right?”
Takaki sighed with relief and smiled.
“But I’ve been thinking about everything lately.” Yamada folded his leg and made himself as comfortable as he could. He breathed heavily and closed his eyes for a while. He opened them again and smiled. “I forced myself to think about everything actually, and I’ve made a conclusion that you’re totally right.”
Takaki gripped his towel while wiping the remnants of sweat off his forehead. He took a little glance to Yamada but said nothing. He sighed heavily and looked around. The practice was over but everybody was still in the room. They sprawled all over the floor and chatted lightly. He stopped for a while on Hikaru and Yabu who looked very tense in their conversation, but his focus distracted right away when he felt Yamada moved closer to him.
He decided to sit far away from the other when the choreographer dismissed them but didn’t expect that Yamada would follow him. It didn’t mean that he hate it. It was more like he enjoyed their togetherness, because deep inside him he felt the longing for the younger. He wanted to snuggle. He wanted to hug him, and let everything slide just like that. He wanted all of the people would go away and left them alone so they could spent the time together without any interruption.
Takaki closed his eyes and smiled lightly.
“Fight! I’m behind you.”
The words kept ringing since he woke up that morning. He felt everybody would support him now so he decided to fight for their love. He felt he could do anything to make Yamada happy. He would do everything to stay beside Yamada. He would fight every storm to keep Yamada beside him.
Takaki opened his eyes and sighed heavily. All the spirit that burned inside him since he woke up this morning suddenly faded away right after Yamada declared his agreement. He never saw it coming. He didn’t expect it would come.
“Maybe you’re right after all.” Yamada mumbled a little loud. “No. Perhaps you’re right.” He gulped hard after the words.
Takaki suddenly felt a little pang in his heart. “What do you mean?” Still, he asked.
Yamada once again gulped. “That we should end this.”
Takaki chuckled a little after a little trance. “Finally you agreed me.”
Yamada smiled bitterly. “Let’s just be logic. We are living in the world where moral code is everything. We should follow the norm strictly. Every eyes darted to us. A lot of youngsters out there made us as a role model of their life. They copied everything we do. If we insist to continue this, one day they will definitely found out, and everything will collapse. All the efforts we’ve made. All the trust we’ve built.”
Takaki could hear his heart broke. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth hard to prevent the tears that suddenly forced to stream.
“You’re absolutely right when you said that we will break the group if we insist to continue this. We should definitely end this.”
Takaki didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move. He felt his body was glued to the floor. He couldn’t even move his fingertips.
Is this how you feel when I told you to give up? It hurts so much until you lost your strength to even move your finger. You said it once to me and I lost my will to move from my place. How was your feeling when I told you about it many times? You must be crazy. You must lost your will to live.
Oh my God!
I’m so sorry, Ryosuke. I didn’t know that I hurt you that much.
“We are against the world. Not just one or two people, but the whole world will go against us. They will punish not just the both of us, but also all the people who defends us. They will be doomed if we still keep this relationship on.”
Takaki spread his gaze throughout the room, accidentally exchanging glances with Chinen and Inoo who were staring at him sharply. He immediately averted his eyes from them, avoiding their silent questions. He knew they smelt something. They’re the smartest persons he had even known. It wasn’t very obvious that they knew something.
“So, let’s end this.”
Takaki closed his eyes but didn’t give any reply to Yamada. He tried hard to ease his feeling that suddenly became melancholy.
I should be happy because you finally agreed me to end our relationship? But why it feels so hard to let you go? I don’t want to loose you. I want to hug you forever. I want you to stay beside me forever. Please. Tell me that I’m dreaming. Tell me that you’re just joking. Tell me that you’re not serious.
“Let’s live this life normally like everybody do. Falling in love with girls, marry them one day, and having children. It sounds beautiful, isn’t it? Building our own family.”
Takaki opened his eyes but didn’t dare to look at Yamada. “It is. But are you sure you can do it? Falling in love with someone else? With a girl?”
I don’t think I can do it, Ryosuke. I love you. I gave my heart all for you. I don’t have a room left for someone else. I gave all my love for you. I don’t think I can love anyone else like I love you. You’re my everything. I don’t know what will happen to me if we’re really over.
Yamada smiled again. He looked down to his lap and sighed. “I know it’s hard, but at least we should try. We bet for everybody’s fate if we insist to be selfish. It is time to give up. It is time to give Fate to decide where we should go. It is time to go back to our track.”
Takaki smiled bitterly. “So, you finally agreed me. Why so sudden?”
Yamada chuckled lightly. “I’ve been mute for sometimes, that’s what they told you, but actually I’ve been thinking over and over, about everything. About what will happen if we keep going with everything, and I see our collapse in the end. I don’t want that to happen. I love you, but JUMP is very important to me. It’s very important to you too. It’s very important to everyone too. It’s something that we should cherish because it is our home. I know we will loose our happiness if we loose our home, so I finally decided that we should choose. I finally understand why you always said that we should give up. I finally understand why you always said that we will take the rest to their doom if we insist to keep going with our love. They will lose their home. They will suffer to their death and you don’t want that to happen. I finally understand everything.”
Takaki closed his eyes and leaned to the wall. He felt all empty so sudden. He suddenly lost his will of doing everything. He wanted to just disappear.
Yamada didn’t say anything more. He just sat there, enjoying the warmth that radiating from Takaki’s body.
To be honest, I don’t want to loose you. I want to stay forever beside you. I want to live this life with you beside me. Every time I open my eyes, I want to always see you. Forever.