Fic: "Home Is Where The Heart Is" 2/3
Title: Home Is Where The Heart Is
Rating: T for medical procedures
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Word count: ~19500
Summary: The Winchester brothers once again solved the case and rescued the girl - but did it come without a price? Hurt!/Sick!Sam, Guilty!/Protective!Dean. Tag to 1x11.
Chapter 4
Dean was mad. No, that was actually an understatement - Dean was downright furious! He'd hoped that Sam would have either remained oblivious to the fact that he had been about to go through surgery or that the older brother would at least have been able to explain the situation to Sam. But no; that goddamn idiot anesthesia doctor had not only woken Sam up but had also told Sam that he was about to have surgery! Sam - the sweet, sensitive kid that he had always been - had of course panicked, and Dean had spent what little was left of Sam's awareness (before anesthesia pulled him under) assuring his little brother that everything would be okay, that he would be by Sam's side throughout it all. Of course that hadn't been possible since Dean wasn't allowed in the operation room, so the oldest Winchester brother had been pacing back and forth in the waiting room ever since they'd wheeled Sam away - anxiously waiting for news about his younger brother.
The waiting room had luckily started to become more and more vacant, but Dean still recognized some of them as the same people that had been present when the Winchester brothers had first arrived in the ER. A couple of them sent stolen looks towards the fuming older brother as he stomped back and forth, alternating between glancing at his clock and asking for info at the nurses station, but no one in the room dared to stare at him for long.
Besides being angry at the anesthesia doctor, Dean was angry with his dad as well. He'd called the man earlier to let him in on the situation - getting the older hunter's answering machine as always - and he had emphasized that Sam was so badly injured that it had even required surgery. But John Winchester hadn't returned the call. Nor had he given Dean even the slightest sign of having acknowledged the call at all. Dean didn't understand; why wasn't his father rushing to the hospital this very second to be there for Sam? Just for once in his life? This wasn't a soccer match, a parent-teacher meeting or a graduation ceremony - this was Sam's life on the line for God's sake! Dean knew that his dad and little brother had had their differences, that they'd butted heads more times than Dean could remember, and that the last time the two of them had faced each other, it had resulted in a bad fight which had ended with Sam leaving for Stanford. But John Winchester was always there when it really mattered.. so where was he now?
Some laughter coming from a row of seats nearby caught Dean's attention and tore him out of his thoughts about his dad and baby brother. Two teenagers were entertained by something one of them was showing the other one on his cell phone - while loudly commenting on it while doing so.
"Look, look! He's choking! And here comes the blood!" The teenager with the phone said with a grin on his face and the other teen eagerly watched whatever was going on, on the cell phone screen.
"Looks like he's having a little trouble breathing with the blood he's coughing up." The other teen remarked and Dean stopped his pacing since the comments were starting to sound unnervingly familiar. "Oh man, he's so gonna go down!"
"In three, two, one.." The guy with the phone counted down before both teenagers roared with laughter. "Water all over the place! Poor sucker!"
"Hey!"
The teenagers startled by the sudden exclamation and appearance of the guy in front of them before exchanging confused looks with each other.
"Let me see that." Dean said, waving a hand towards the phone the teen was still holding on to.
"Eh.." The teenager began, obviously hesitant and confused as to why the guy who had been walking back and forth in the waiting room with angry steps suddenly wanted to see the video on his cell phone.
Dean - having no patience whatsoever - snapped the phone from the teenager in one quick motion and pushed the 'play' button to see the recorded video.
"Hey!" The teenager exclaimed.
"You have no right to.." The other teenager started but both of them silenced when Dean shot them a glare that could have made even the mighty John Winchester think twice before opening his mouth again.
Dean's heart dropped to his stomach when his suspicions about the video was confirmed - it was indeed a video showing how Sam had struggled to breathe, had tried to get up from the floor in a desperate attempt to get to his older brother but had failed miserably as his eyes had rolled back in his head and Sam had collapsed into the side of the water machine.
"You think this is funny?" Dean asked in a cold voice, the teenagers writhing under the hard look the older Winchester brother was pinning them with. "You think watching my brother choking on his own blood is funny?"
Both teenagers paled at the same time, neither one of them daring to answer the question.
"I should kick the crap out of both of you!" Dean threatened in a low and dangerous voice. Teenagers or not; no one was allowed to make fun of Sam - except for Dean himself - and especially not about such a serious matter. Sam was going through frigging surgery right now and these guys were turning it all into a big joke?
"Look dude, I swear we didn't know it was your brother." One of the teenagers said and held up his hands in defense.
Dean rolled his eyes and was about to teach these boys a lesson on what happens when you mess with Dean Winchester's little brother, but he was interrupted when Loretta waved at him from the nurses station.
Sam. It had to be news about Sam.
"Consider yourself lucky." Dean said to the teenagers, deleted the video with Sam from the phone and dropped the phone into a Styrofoam cup of coffee on a little table nearby - smirking on the inside as the teenagers desperately tried to save the sinking phone from the hot coffee - and rushed to the nurses station.
Loretta raised an eyebrow at the commotion Dean had left behind but let it go as she faced the worried big brother.
"Sam?" Dean asked.
"Out of surgery." Loretta confirmed with a smile, feeling so happy for being able to bring some good news for once.
"How is he? He alright? Can I see him?" Dean rattled away and Loretta held up a hand to stop Dean for asking any further questions.
"Sam's in the ICU." Loretta said. "I'll show you to his room."
"The ICU?" Dean asked with concern as he followed Loretta down the corridors. "Isn't that for patients needing critical care?"
"The doctor will let you in on all the details." Loretta assured him but that wasn't enough for Dean.
"Loretta, please. I'm begging you." Dean said, stopping up in the middle of the hospital corridor and looking at the nurse with big green eyes. "I need to know. Please."
Loretta sighed and saw not only a worried big brother in the eyes of the young man in front of her but also a scared kid. How old was this Dean anyway? And his brother? The thought tore at her maternal instincts.
"Look, I don't know much more than you do." The nurse said. "All I know is that Sam's surgery went well but that he isn't out of the woods yet. The doctor will explain it all to you."
Dean nodded and swallowed nervously before allowing Loretta to lead him the last bit of way to Sam's room in the ICU.
_ SPN _
Dean drew circles on Sam's palm with a thumb as he sat by his younger brother's bedside - keeping an eye on the monitors attached to Sam's body while waiting for his little brother to wake up. The oxygen mask covering Sam's mouth and nose was fogging with every breath Sam let out - after every breath the ventilation machine helped him take in. The doctor had told the oldest Winchester brother that they'd managed to close off the injury that had been made by the broken rib which had stopped the bleeding inside Sam's chest, but Sam's oxygen levels were still low and the younger brother needed respiratory therapy to assist his lungs for now. The doctor couldn't tell when Sam would be able to breathe entirely on his own again - especially not since Sam was showing signs of developing pneumonia which wasn't exactly what the younger Winchester brother needed at this point.
Dean brushed Sam's bangs out of his brother's eyes and sighed when he felt the warmth on Sam's forehead that indicated an increasing fever. The older brother was glad that the doctor had at least removed the tube from Sam's throat and had replaced it with the facial oxygen mask instead. Sam would have freaked out if he'd woken up to a tube sticking out of his mouth and - despite the fact that Dean once in a while wished his brother would just shut up - this way Sam would be able to use his voice, and Dean was really longing to hear that voice right now.
The older brother glanced at his watch and washed a hand down his face. It was way past visiting hours but Loretta had pulled a few strings and had allowed Dean to stay by his brother's side. Not that anyone could have prevented Dean from staying anyways - not when Sam needed him.
You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks.
Dean frowned as he recalled the fight he'd had with Sam in Indiana. He'd meant what he'd told his younger brother; that Sam was being selfish for always walking away from his family to do what he wanted to do. But Sam had come back to save Dean the moment he couldn't get in touch with his older brother and he had apologized for leaving in the first place.. so why was it so hard for Dean to forgive and forget?
You and me - we're all that's left. So, if we're gonna see this through, we're gonna do it together.
Those words from Sam had meant the world to the older Winchester brother and even though he'd held on to those words when they'd left Indiana, the fact that Sam had left him in the first place had come back to haunt him. In the end, that had overshadowed everything else and Dean had felt hurt and disappointed in his brother. Dean could clearly understand why Sam had been confused as to why Dean had suddenly been pissed at him since Dean had accepted the younger brother's apology at first, but Dean just couldn't let go of the fact that Sam - of all people - had chosen to walk out of him as well.
"For such a brilliant guy, you can be quite a dumbass sometimes, Sammy." Dean said with no heat behind the words and continued to draw circles on Sam's palm with his thumb.
None of it mattered right now though; Sam was injured and Dean was gonna take care of the kid - not distress him by any means. They could discuss their issues some other time when Sam was back on his feet and breathing properly on his own again. Until then, Dean wouldn't let his brother out of his sight. He just wished Sam would wake up soon though. The wait was starting to get long.
"I am Sam. I am Sam, Sam I am." Dean suddenly started reciting as an old childhood memory popped into his head. "That Sam-I-am, that Sam-I-am, I do not like that Sam-I-am. Do you like green eggs and ham?"
Sam had loved that children book when they'd been kids - a birthday gift from Bobby that Sam had received when the brothers had been left in the older hunter's care on Sam's fifth birthday. Dean remembered how miserable Sam had been that day since their father had been away on a hunt and hadn't been able to be there on Sam's birthday.
"Dean, does Daddy hate me?" Sam had asked his big brother with big teary eyes that had broken Dean's heart right on the spot and which still made his heart ache now so many years later.
"Of course he doesn't, Sammy. Dad loves you, okay?" Dean had answered. "Why would you even think that he hates you?"
"He's always away." Sam had pouted. "Even today."
"Well that's only because he has to. But I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'll stay with you always." Dean had promised and had never once broken that promise. Even when Sam had been away at Stanford, Dean had been close as often as possible without Sam ever knowing - just to make sure the kid was doing alright.
Bobby had given Sam the book "Green Eggs and Ham" and the youngest brother had made Dean read it over and over and over until Dean could remember the words without even opening the book. When Sam had woken up after a particular bad nightmare, Dean had sometimes recited the words from the old children's book to sooth his brother and it had always managed to calm Sam.
"I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham." Dean continued - wasn't sure whether he did it to sooth Sam or himself for that matter.
He'd just reached the last part - "I do so like green eggs and ham! Thank you! Thank you, Sam-I-am" - when he felt fingers gently curling around his hand. Dean looked down at Sam's face and noticed a pair of groggy, green eyes staring back at him.
Sam was awake.
Chapter 5
The furrows on Dean's - before so worried and brooding - face smoothened out and slowly morphed into a relieved smile by the sight of his little brother's opened eyes. He could tell by the look in Sam's eyes though that the younger brother was still far away, but Dean would take any kind of awareness from Sam right then.
"Sammy." Dean said in a soft voice, using the hand, that wasn't currently being held on to by Sam's fingers, to gently brush Sam's sweaty bangs out of the younger brother's eyes - causing Sam to briefly close his eyes again as if embracing Dean's gentle touch.
"Sammy." Dean repeated.
Sam blinked drowsily up at his older brother, looking exactly like he'd done when he'd been a toddler and had just woken up from a nap. His expression soon turned confused which proceeded to distressed as he became aware of the oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose.
"We're at the hospital." Dean explained while preventing Sam from removing the oxygen mask by grabbing Sam's wrist as the younger brother tried to lift his hand. "Your broken rib caused a little bit of trouble but you're okay now - just need a little time to get back on your feet again, okay?"
Dean knew he was sugar-coating the situation a bit, but Sam didn't need the worry - he needed to focus on getting better. Besides, Sam was only half-aware at this point anyway; he still looked confused but accepted Dean's words before slowly nodding. Dean smiled.
"Good." Dean praised. "The oxygen mask is there to help you so leave it alone."
The older brother then thought it was safe to let go of Sam's wrist and he moved back a little to reclaim possession of the chair next to Sam's bedside, but that only made the youngest Winchester grasp Dean's hand tighter.
"Relax princess, I'm not going anywhere." Dean said but Sam didn't let go.
"Dean.." He rasped out instead, his voice only a hoarse whisper but still loud enough for Dean to hear.
"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean asked, his heart beating a little faster when Sam's eyes suddenly became misty with unshed tears. Was Sam in pain? Was the morphine wearing out? Was the ventilation machine not doing its job properly?
Dean's finger lingered by the call-button as he waited for Sam to continue - not liking Sam's still decreasing fever or the tears he could spot in Sam's eyes. The developing pneumonia sure as hell wasn't his little brother's best friend right now.
"You're mad." Sam said in a low and hoarse voice that was muffled by the oxygen mask.
"What are you talking about?" Dean wanted to know. "I'm not mad."
"Scarecrow.." Sam said, looking at his older brother with tearful eyes - glassy with fever too and pupils blown wide from the pain medication.
Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as he realized exactly why his little brother was bringing this subject up now.
"This is gonna be fun." He mumbled.
Whenever Sam was either drunk (which happened on rare occasions), fever-delirious (which happened every now and then) or hurt and drugged on pain medication (which happened far too often), the kid ended up doing one of two things; Sam was either pretty goofy which always gave Dean a good laugh and plenty of ammo to use against his younger brother at a later time - or Sam wasgetting so emotional that he would start pouring his heart out; telling whoever happened to be around about his feelings and whatever was on his mind. This time, unfortunately, it seemed to be the latter and Dean hated when Sam got like this. Besides the fact that he didn't like to see his brother upset in any kind of way, it also always felt like he was invading Sam's privacy - especially since Dean was never able to walk away because he simply couldn't leave Sam alone when his brother was this vulnerable.
"You're like.. like.. dad-mad." Sam said before coughing and Dean was relieved when no spatter of blood decorated the inside of the oxygen mask this time around.
"That's fine, Sam." Dean said, once again preventing his brother from fidgeting with the oxygen mask.
"The stuff you said.. just like dad." Sam continued while Dean secured Sam's arms underneath the covers of the bed. "Right before Stanford."
"Sam we'll talk about this when the morphine isn't doing all the talk, alright?" Dean said - his tone sharp but his look soft - as he wiped some drops of sweat off the side of Sam's face with his sleeve. "Get some rest."
Dean sat back down on the chair and watched as Sam fought to keep his eyes open. Desperate times called for desperate measures so Dean once again started drawing circles on Sam's palm with his thumb - a calming gesture that soon made Sam's eyelids slide closed.
"Don't be like dad, Dean. Please." Sam mumbled before his breath finally evened out in sleep.
Dean continued to draw circles on his little brother's palm while studying Sam's pale but fever-flushed face as Sam's words twirled around in his head. Had Sam compared Dean to their dad when they'd been fighting about John back in Indiana?
"I don't understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it's like you don't even question him."
"Yeah, it's called being a good son!"
Dean winced a little as he recalled his own words. He'd been angry and words were always more harsh when they were spoken out of anger - they were meant to hurt.. and they had. Sam had left the car right after that; hurt and angry.
Truth was that Sam had never been a bad son; he was the kind of son any normal parent would be proud of. But John Winchester wasn't a normal father and the things their father thought was most important in life hadn't been top priority in Sam's mind - which was what had come to a head when Sam had told their dad about his Stanford scholarship. Dean remembered that fight like had it been yesterday because it had been such a bad one.
"You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks."
"That's what you really think?"
"Yes, it is."
Dean had sounded like their dad. A lot actually. And even though Dean knew that John was indeed proud of Sam, the only thing his younger brother could focus on was the words their father had spoken the last time they'd all been together; "You walk out that door, don't you ever come back."
Dean washed a hand down his face and let out a frustrated sigh. Sometimes he wanted to smack the kid and their father for being so hard-headed. Sam made choices that Dean didn't always agree with but Dean wouldn't tell Sam to stay away for good - even if Sam did have a habit of walking away.
A little bit of the hurt and anger Dean had felt during their argument back in the motel room flared up by the thought of his brother walking away, but it disappeared again as soon as Sam coughed in his sleep and squeezed Dean's hand. The older brother smiled wryly and shook the dark thoughts away. This wasn't the time or place to think about their issues.
"You just keep fighting, Sammy." Dean told his oblivious little brother and squeezed Sam's hand back.
_ SPN _
When Sam woke up the next time, he was more clear-headed than the first time around - which meant that Dean was able to have a real conversation with his younger brother this time. Sam was still affected by the surgery he'd been through though and the pneumonia that had now, according to the doctor, definitely attacked Sam's body was also taking its toll on him.
Dean had just finished a long monologue about why classic cars were more awesome than modern cars, when Sam asked a question that took the older brother by surprise.
"Did you call Dad?" Sam asked before scrunching up his face and fidgeting a bit with the oxygen mask.
"Didn't I tell you to leave that thing alone?" Dean asked.
"It's annoying." Sam complained.
"You're annoying." Dean retorted. "Leave it alone, Sam, or I'll tie your hands down. I'm not kidding!"
Sam sighed in annoyance and buried himself deeper into the covers of the hospital bed. He was freezing - despite the fact that sweat was literally running down his face. Sam's chest still ached which made it painful every time he tried to shift a bit on the bed, and it was also difficult for him to take in a deep enough breath. It scared Sam a bit to know that the oxygen mask was helping him breathe properly; if the mask was already helping him, how much more difficult would it be to breathe completely on his own then?
"So did you?" Sam asked, hating that his voice got muffled by the oxygen mask every time he spoke.
"Did what?" Dean asked while flipping through a magazine with no real interest whatsoever.
"Call Dad?" Sam asked.
Dean closed the magazine and avoided Sam's look as he answered the question.
"No." Dean lied. "I was too busy hitting on the hot nurses. Besides, the doctor said he would fix you up in no time and I figured we would probably be long gone by the time Dad arrived anyway."
Sam nodded, coughed a little and turned his head to stare up at the ceiling.
"He probably wouldn't have come anyway." Sam said after a little while of silence.
"Of course he would, don't be stupid." Dean said and swallowed down the lump that had formed in his throat. Sam was right about their father; Dean had called him and John hadn't shown up or even given the tiniest notice about anything. The oldest Winchester brother could throttle his dad for this - John Winchester should have been there. But Dean didn't want Sam to know about any of it so he kept quiet. What Sam didn't know about, couldn't hurt him.
"How are you doing by the way?" Dean asked to change the subject.
"About the same as last time you asked." Sam answered. "I'm cold."
"Still?" Dean asked incredulously. "I already gave you an extra blanket."
"Not helping." Sam said which made the older brother frown.
Dean drummed with his fingers on his knee while looking thoughtfully around for a few seconds. He then grabbed his leather jacket that had been tossed over the back of his chair before he gently spread it out on top of Sam's muffled up chest.
"It doesn't provide much warmth but it's better than nothing, right?" Dean said.
"Thanks Dean." Sam said with gratitude and Dean nodded.
"I'm gonna grab some coffee. Be right back." Dean then said and walked towards the door. He glanced back at Sam as he reached the door and smiled wryly when he saw Sam resting his cheek against the worn leather jacket. So what if it got a little sweat-soaked? If it made Sam happy, then Dean was happy as well.
"Don't drool on the jacket." Dean said as he opened the door. "Or you'll be the one to clean it!"
"Don't I already do most of the laundry?" Sam complained.
"Yeah, and let's keep it that way, Samantha." Dean grinned - not missing the eye roll Sam gave him before he left the room.
_ SPN _
Despite the fact that Sam had only shown signs of improvement, the youngest Winchester brother got worse during the night. Sam's fever had suddenly spiked disturbingly much and Sam's already troubled breathing had become even more troubled. To make it all worse; the younger brother had also been vomiting, and puke just didn't go very well with difficulty in breathing and an oxygen mask!
Doctors and nurses had taken care of Sam at first but Dean hadn't liked the lack of understanding some of the members of the hospital staff had shown when it came to find the right way to get his little brother through this. So, after a whole lot of quarrels, Loretta, Dr. Kendall and Dean had finally come to an agreement, and Dean had been the one to take care of Sam since then.
"That's it. It's over now." Dean assured his younger brother and removed the vomit bowl as Sam had ended yet another round of puking.
Sam was hunched over and gasping for air but Dean gently pulled him back against his chest, as he was sitting behind Sam on the hospital bed, and grabbed the oxygen mask beside him.
"I've got you." Dean said in a soft voice, having repeated this procedure several times during the night already.
With one hand placed on Sam's forehead to keep Sam situated and secured against him, Dean guided his other hand underneath Sam's left armpit and held the oxygen mask in place over his little brother's mouth and nose.
"Just breathe, Sammy." Dean said in a soft voice and watched as the oxygen mask fogged with every struggled breath Sam drew in and blew out. "You're doing well."
Sam weakly sunk his fingernails into his older brother's jeans - the nails bluish due to the lack of oxygen - and Dean's heart ached when a tear escaped Sam's clenched eyes.
"It's okay." Dean soothed although it was far from okay that Sam had to suffer this badly.
Sam then started coughing and Dean removed the oxygen mask long enough for Sam to spit up some phlegm, before he put the mask back in place - this time strapping it around Sam's head so that he could use his hand to gently rub at Sam's aching chest instead.
"Dean." Sam wheezed - heat radiating off the younger man's skin as his head came to a rest against Dean's neck.
"Not going anywhere." Dean promised and used another one of his Sammy-calming methods as he started humming 'Hey Jude' into his brother's ear.
Sam kept wheezing even as exhaustion pulled him under, and Dean continued to hum while carding a hand through Sam's sweaty hair.
When the night turned to day, Sam's fever finally broke and the younger brother rested more peacefully against Dean's chest.
"Well.." Loretta started, lowering her voice as Dean shushed her before continuing. "It seems like the antibiotics are finally doing their job."
"So he's good?" Dean asked in a low voice.
"Not yet." Loretta admitted. "But he's better."
Dean nodded and absent-mindedly stroked Sam's hair which made Loretta's eyes well up - touched by the sight in front of her.
"Dr. Kendall will check up on your brother soon." Loretta said before she left the room.
Dean shifted a little to get more comfortable against the headboard of the hospital bed and then pulled Sam closer as the younger brother mumbled in his sleep.
"I'm sorry for causing you all this pain, Sammy." Dean whispered, still feeling so incredible guilty for pushing his already hurting little brother in the chest.
The older Winchester brother promised himself to do a better job of protecting Sam when they were able to leave the hospital behind. Issues or not; Sam was still the most important person in Dean's life and Dean would be damned if he let anything happen to the kid!
Chapter 6
Things always got worse before they got better and - after another day followed by another night of taking care of a sick and hurting little brother - Dean was relieved to see that Sam was finally getting better. The pneumonia was still present but beyond the life-threatening part so that wasn't the biggest concern at the moment; it was the still troubled breathing on Sam's part, despite the pneumonia, that was the main reason for the older brother's disquiet. The oxygen mask had been replaced by a nasal cannula that continued to assist Sam's breathing, but the younger Winchester brother was still wheezing and often struggled to take in a deep enough breath which was what worried Dean the most.
"It's perfectly normal." Dr. Kendall had told Dean when the older Winchester brother had shared his concerns with the man. "Your brother just needs time, that's all. Once the pneumonia will be fully gone from his system, Sam will start breathing more easily. But I'll still recommend he continues with the chest therapy for a while."
Dean had nodded while going through the instructions in his mind that Loretta had showed him on how to help Sam with his breathing exercises. Dean had listened very carefully and had taken mental notes on everything Loretta had explained to him, since he never let anything be left to chance when it came to his little brother.
"How much longer does he need the antibiotics?" Dean had then asked the doctor.
Dr. Kendall had smiled wryly, knowing that Dean had an almost frightening need to know everything about the care and treatment the hospital provided in Sam's case - but not knowing that Dean also needed the information for a different reason. Dean needed to know exactly how the hospital wanted to further treat Sam because the older brother planned to take Sam away from the hospital as soon as possible before the insurance fraud would become an issue.
"Sam needs the antibiotics for at least another week." Dr. Kendall had answered. "Until the fever is completely gone and then a little while longer. But you don't need to worry about that - this hospital does know how to care for the patients."
The doctor had then winked at Dean and the older Winchester brother had nodded once more while reminding himself to borrow some extra antibiotics before leaving the hospital with Sam. Dean wondered exactly when that would be since his younger brother still needed the extra oxygen. They couldn't keep staying at the hospital but Dean sure as hell wouldn't take Sam with him anywhere before he was pretty damn certain Sam didn't distress in the process.
Speaking of Sam, the younger brother was currently listening to one of Dean's stories about what had happened on a poltergeist hunt in Middlefield, Ohio, while Sam had been away at Stanford. It was supposed to be a funny story, if you judged by the chuckles Dean kept making while telling it, but Sam wasn't really listening to it. He had his head turned towards his brother and was watching Dean speak, but Sam's thoughts kept twirling around inside his head which made it difficult for him to concentrate on what Dean was saying. The fight he had had with his older brother, before Sam had collapsed back at the motel room, was still plaguing him tremendously but every time he'd tried to bring it up, Dean had brushed the subject aside with a "We'll talk about it later." But Sam didn't want to talk about it later. He wanted to talk about it now. No matter how grateful he was for the fact that Dean hadn't left his side even once while he'd been hospitalized, Sam knew that behind Dean's protective big brother shield there was also a hurt big brother, a disappointed big brother - a big brother who couldn't understand why his little brother would walk away from him when it was supposed to be the two of them against the world. But that was why Sam needed to talk things through with said big brother because Dean had got it all wrong; Sam hadn't walked out on Dean. Not really.
"Sam.. Sam?"
Sam blinked his thoughts away and realized that Dean was looking expectantly at him.
"Eh.." Sam said. Had Dean asked him a question?
"You're supposed to laugh when I tell you a funny story, man." Dean said, threw up his hands and sighed. "You're hopeless."
"Sorry." Sam said in a soft voice. "What was the funny part?"
"Doesn't matter." Dean said, leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest in an offended way that made Sam's lips twitch in amusement.
"And you call me the bitchy one." Sam commented before coughing a bit.
Dean glared at his younger brother for a short moment before his expression turned concerned as Sam took in some wheezing gulps of air. Sam was still too pale for Dean's liking - still looked way too fragile for a kid his size. The struggled breathing also reminded Dean of another time where Sam had sounded like that; the run-in with the Shriga that had almost cost Sam his life because Dean had made a stupid mistake. Sam luckily didn't remember any of it but Dean could never forget how close he'd come to lose his little brother - how close he'd come to lose Sammy, all because he hadn't followed his father's orders.
"You alright?" Dean asked, readjusted the nose cannula as his brother leaned back against the pillow and closed his eyes for a brief moment.
"I'm fine." Sam said and weakly swatted Dean's hands away before sighing. "I can't believe this all happened because of a broken rib."
"Well.. the push to your chest didn't exactly help." Dean remarked as guilt seeped in once again. He then regretted saying anything when Sam gave him one of those looks that meant that the kid had something on his heart.
"Are we ever gonna talk about it?" Sam wanted to know and Dean mentally kicked himself for bringing the subject up in the first place.
"About what?" Dean asked.
"You know what." Sam said and shot Dean a knowing look.
"Look, Sam.." Dean began when he was cut off by his ringing cell phone. Saved by the bell.
He quickly fished out the phone from his pocket and glanced at the #ID saying 'unknown'.
"Who is it?" Sam asked.
"I don't know." Dean said with a shrug of his shoulders before answering the phone. "Yeah?"
"Dean." The voice on the other end of the line said and Dean immediately recognized it.
"Hold on." Dean said, put the phone down and glanced at Sam. "I'm gonna take this outside."
"Why?" Sam wanted to know and wrinkled his forehead in confusion.
"Booty call." Dean smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at his younger brother before leaving the room.
As soon as Dean had closed the door behind him, the smirk on his face dissolved and he quickly put the phone back to his ear.
"Dad?" Dean asked.
"Yeah Dean, it's me." John Winchester said and Dean let out a relieved sigh. "How's Sammy?"
"He's hanging in there." Dean said. "Dad, what happened? Why haven't you returned my calls?"
"It's.. complicated." John said.
"Alright, you can tell me all about it when you get here. Sam is.." Dean started when his father cut him off.
"I'm not coming, Dean." John said.
"What? Why not?" Dean wanted to know - his heart beating faster as anger started building up.
"Look son, I'm onto something here. The demon that killed your mother.." John began.
"The demon? Dad, Sam just went through surgery! He also has pneumonia and he's still struggling to breathe properly!" Dean shouted and then lowered his voice a tad as one of the nurses sent him a firm look. "You're supposed to be here, Dad.. You should have been here days ago!"
"Watch your tone with me." John warned from the other end of the line. "You know I would have been there if I could, but this is important."
"More important than Sam?" Dean asked.
"I am doing this for Sammy and for you, Dean! This is the thing I've been searching for, for the past twenty-two years, and I'd be damned if I let it escape now!" John barked and Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. "I told you boys to stop looking for me and I can't meet up with you either. It's not safe. I'm protecting you this way."
Dean remained silent while John let out a sigh.
"Look, I know you're making sure nothing happens to your brother." His father continued. "I trust you to take care of him."
"Always have done, always will." Dean said, feeling a wave of sadness wash over him by the verity of that statement. Their father had missed out on so many precious moments in Sam's life.
"Good. Tell Sammy that.. that I'm sorry, okay?" John said. "Bye Dean."
The oldest Winchester hung up the phone with a click and Dean slowly lowered his cell phone from his ear. He closed his eyes, leaned back against the door for a moment while counting to ten inside his head - not wanting security to kick him out for punching something in anger and frustration. Dean understood why their father couldn't be there, he really did… but that didn't mean that he could also accept it. Sam sure as hell wouldn't understand, and Dean decided it was probably for the best if he kept his brother out of this. At least for now.
Dean opened his eyes back up, put the cell phone into his pocket and put on his game face again. It was time to get back to his brother.
"Sorry for taking so long." Dean said as he walked back into Sam's room. "Girls, you know. They can never let me.."
Dean then paused as he realized Sam was no longer situated in the hospital bed - nasal cannula and IV-lines left behind - and the older brother's heart started hammering inside his chest as he was hit by a moment of panic. Where the hell was Sam?
"Sammy?" Dean called, stepping all the way into the room and then spun around as a panting sound reached his ears. "Sam!"
Dean kneeled down next to his little brother who was currently sitting on the floor behind the door - hunched over and gasping for air.
"What happened?" Dean asked while gently pushing Sam back against the wall.
"H-heard… you and… Dad.." Sam wheezed out between quick and shallow breaths, and Dean sighed as he now realized why Sam had gotten so upset that his troubled breathing had become even more troubled.
"You're a big idiot, Sammy." Dean said with no real heat behind the words and a shake of his head, knowing without a doubt that if Sam had been eavesdropping to the conversation Dean had just had with their father - even though Sam had only been able to hear Dean's side of the conversation - it was no wonder that the kid had gotten distressed.
Dean then lightly tapped Sam's chest and his back as well to loosen the mucus in his brother's lungs and hopefully improve the breathing. "You know the drill. Come on, deep breaths."
Sam closed his eyes, fisted Dean's shirt with his hands and focused on his breathing; deep and slow breaths.
"Now cough." Dean ordered and Sam did as he was told.
The younger Winchester brother coughed up some phlegm and Dean let out a sigh of relief as Sam's breathing immediately improved.
"Come on." Dean said, gently pulling Sam to his feet and guiding him back to the hospital bed.
Once Sam was back under the covers, Dean put the nasal cannula back in place and did the same thing with the IV-lines that Sam had - not so gently - ripped out to be able to listen to Dean's conversation. Looking back on it all now, Dean should have known to walk further away than just outside the room.
"You shouldn't have left the bed, you moron." Dean said and watched as Sam curled up on his side.
"You lied to me." Sam said and shot Dean a hurt look. "You said you didn't call Dad."
"I just didn't want you to worry, okay?" Dean said. "Listen, Dad wanted to be here okay? But he's after the demon that killed Mom and Jess and.. he told me to tell you he's sorry."
"I doubt it." Sam huffed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean wanted to know.
"Just forget about it, okay?" Sam said and turned his back against his older brother.
"Sam, I know you and Dad have your differences, alright?" Dean said. "But Dad would have been here if he could."
"Yeah.. Whatever." Sam said.
Dean sat down in the chair next to Sam's bedside and washed his hands up and down his face a couple of times, suddenly feeling so damn tired. The older Winchester brother was sick of always defending an absent father to a disappointed little brother - especially when he was pissed off at his dad for making Sam feel this way over and over. And that was even though Sam was being unreasonable sometimes - the stubborn little shit (that stopped being so little along the way.)
"Well.. I'm here." Dean then said. "And I'm not going anywhere. You hear me?"
Sam didn't answer or turn back around but Dean noticed that the younger man's before so tense shoulders loosened up a bit.
"So stop sulking, princess." Dean added and then smiled wryly as Sam retorted a bunch of curse words that made the big brother quite proud.
_ SPN _
As soon as Sam was taken off the extra oxygen, Dean decided it was time for the two of them to hit the road. So, when Dr. Kendall's shift was over and Loretta was heading home as well, Dean brought some clothes for his brother and went on a mission to find some antibiotics while Sam changed into the clothes.
"Bingo." He mumbled after picking the lock on one of the medicine cabinets, grabbed some bottles of antibiotics and stuffed them in his pocket before walking back to his brother's room.
Sam was sitting on the edge of the hospital bed and had just managed to pull a hoodie over his head - his arms still trapped inside it and his floppy hair sticking out in all directions - when Dean entered the room.
"Come on, Sammy. We gotta go." Dean rushed while glancing at his watch.
"Just give me a second." Sam said, groaning a bit as he stuck his arms out of the hoodie since the movements pulled at his still aching chest.
Dean crossed the room, snatched Sam's socks from the bed before he crouched down in front of the younger brother and expertly started pulling the socks over Sam's bare feet.
"What are you doing?" Sam sighed tiredly.
"Painting your toenails, sunshine." Dean said which earned him a glare from Sam. "What does it look like I'm doing?"
"Dean, I'm twenty-two." Sam said as Dean put shoes on him as well.
"Yeah, I know how old you are, Sam. Now shut up and stop kicking me!" Dean said.
When they were all set to go, and Dean had won the argument about whether or not Sam was going to leave the hospital in a wheel chair, the older brother wheeled Sam down the corridors towards the exit while trying not to attract any attention to the two of them. It was all going pretty well and the exit was in sight when a familiar voice suddenly spoke up.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Dean stopped up and turned around to face Loretta. Judging from the jacket she was wearing and the purse on her shoulder, Dean guessed that her shift had drawn out and she was only now ready to go home. The nurse looked anything but happy as she pinned Dean with her stare; her hands on her hips and a judging look on her face.
"Eh.. We're just.." Dean started when Loretta cut him off.
"I'm very disappointed in you two for leaving this hospital.." Loretta said and paused for a second before continuing. ".. without even saying goodbye."
Her features then loosened up and she sent both brothers a warm smile. Dean blinked in surprise and then glanced at Sam, who looked equally as puzzled and confused as his brother, before he looked at Loretta again.
"Oh don't look so surprised." The nurse said with a chuckle. "Now go on, I haven't seen anything."
"Thank you." Sam said and gave Loretta a soft smile.
"For what? I have no idea what you're talking about." Loretta said and then winked.
Dean nodded his thanks to the nurse as well - sending her a grateful look, before wheeling Sam out of the hospital and across the parking lot to the Impala. The younger Winchester brother groaned as he moved from the wheel chair to the passenger seat of the car, but sighed in comfort as he buried down in the worn leather seats and closed his eyes. Home.
"Thanks." He mumbled as Dean tossed a blanket over him, closed the door and walked around the car before getting behind the wheel.
"Have you missed me, baby?" Dean asked and patted the dashboard in a gentle which made Sam quirk an eyebrow.
"You have a very unhealthy relationship with your car, you know that?" Sam asked.
"Don't listen to him, baby. He's just jealous." Dean smirked and Sam rolled his eyes.
The older brother turned the keys in the ignition - his smirk widening as the engine roared alive. Dean then made sure Sam was safe and sound next to him before he steered them both out of the parking lot, away from the hospital and back on the road.
PART 3