..these emotional days..
let's go home and get stoned.
cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me.
good song. not alluding ( illuding? elluding? whichever one.) to ne thing.
Ricky and I
A new subject of great importance at this moment. Yes, we did talk one time before..idk if we were "talking" actually but we went out on 3 dates. Well, he told me he couldn't "see me" ne more. or w/e. his best friend told me it was b/c i wouldn't do ne thing w/ him. im now beginning to see that Josh can sometimes lie just a luttle.
^ i really don't know about that
Everyone tells me i am "too good for him" blah blah blah..im too good for him?? do what now? since when to i need to put MYSELF ABOVE him. he's sweet. he doesn't try to get in my pants..or persuade me to do ne thing. he's funny [in his own little...gangster mexican way]..which btw..his dad was like half puerto rican or something. weird..but explains so much now.
like maybe why he looks mexican..anddd..why he's so dark..
i don't think i am too good for him. as long as he treats me well..which he really does..always compliments..always hugs...it's kinda nice. lol..i enjoy our time spent together..and i miss him whenever he is gone. i think about it..or wish he was there.
i just feel like i can't talk to my friends about this..b/c..well.. they just make me feel like "why are you with him?".. idk..there's alot of things i don't wanna tell them b/c of those looks. no offense guys. i love you..and one day i will tell you..but .. i just can't right now.
i hate feeling like i am being judged..and i know i do it too..which makes it worse. but if i think i will be given a look..or talked about later..i just won't say nething. i will one day though. it gets easier. it really does.
i have been feeling stressed lately..so i resorted to smoking a cigarrette..i hate that..i hate when a girl smokes..ew..but i did it..and it made me feel so relaxed..and now i don't really want one..but maybe..once every 14 hours. something like that.
this kinda thing happens every few months..
im giving my pack to someone who smokes them. that way i won't. and i won't look so ugly. lol. lawdeh.
tony and i had a falling out. which sucks b/c i really enjoy hanging out w/ him...but we can't hang out..he gets the wrong idea..idk.. i wish to god that i could be his friend..just his friend..he's so cool.
songs call me.
love you.