(no subject)
gah.
i guess its time i really updated with all the crap that has entered my life within the past week. so sure, here we go.
for those of you who havent heard the story, the major one would be my near brush with getting fired. thursday i was notified that i sold cigarettes to a minor. and not just any minor. a board of health minor. great. so basically, when i went in to clean on thursday, sandie told me i was getting a dml (decision-making leave) and i couldnt work. its basically a paid suspension. i had to write up this rather detailed plan about how i was gunna do better and what i was going to do to make sure it doesnt happen again. after initially bawling my eyes out for an hour in the park, i drove around in a complete trance because i didnt want to go home when i was suppose to be working 8-12. so i went to a coffee shop in northampton, and chilled there for like half an hour, and then came back to the park and wrote up my thing. then i picked up jason at midnight, cuz i was suppose to be working with him. i didnt want to, im not gunna lie. i didnt want to be seen at that big y for a long long time. so i hid in the car.
depressed doesnt begin to cover the state i was in for a couple days. if you doubt me, feel free to ask jason and rachel, because they were the unfortunate souls who got to deal with it. new york lifted my spirits tho, so i was ok after that.
unfortunately, now i reap the consequences. i have to card everyone, even tho i know they're over 18. like my own managers. and 80 year old people. and poor chris, i almost flipped out on him tonight, because he went to use my register to ring out a cigarette order, and im like DONT you override that without putting in the birthday. hes like wow are you serious? and im like yeah, i signed the agreement, i have to card everyone, and them cameras are watching me. so even tho i havent been fired, working in the booth has simply become a living hell on earth.
i pondered quitting for a while, and honestly, the arguments for quitting are still much stronger than the arguments to stay, but i dont know where else to go, so here i am. i mean, i can kiss any promotions goodbye, and i've probably just killed my career, and yet i wont quit and start over. gah.
so, needless to say, im not too happy working anymore.
sooo guys, thats why i've been miserable for the past few days. im going to bed now.