Dear Citizens of Middle Earth,
I, Deagol, criminal mastermind/evil genius extraordinaire, am holding to ransom, blackmailing, exacting a fee for my services from you, my lowly subjects, the people of Middle Earth.
I want one meeeeeeeeeeeellion pieces of gold, plus assorted diamonds, mythril jackets, trinkets and suchlike, delievered to a secret location, a hideout, an evil lair, to be disclosed later, not now, at some other time.
If I fail to receive this hoard, riches, treasure, nest egg, I shall be forced to unleash a most terrible scourge, affliction, bane, upon you, the inhabitants, the dwellers of Middle Earth.
THE 150 ft TALL SINGING BEAST. Thanks,
Deagol