The Prodigal Son Returns... Again
Ahh fuck... where do I begin?
Have you ever noticed that every once in awhile life seems to go 'round and 'round in cycles? Sometimes it's like one of those rollercoasters that go full-speed on a track, and at the end of the track it shoots you right back the way you came, only this time in reverse. By the time you've been through the loops and turns the first time, we're supposed to enjoy the same loops and turns more the second time around because you can't see what's coming. Life is like that too sometimes, and even though you should know what's coming the second time around, you either have your eyes closed or you've deliberately chosen to forget what happened the first time around or you've fooled yourself into thinking that *this* time, it'll be different.
It never is.
This is karma. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Bend over and fuckin' deal with it.
I got a little upset the last time I posted for several reasons, none of which should even surprise me considering it's all happened before and I should be used to it by now. It wasn't even so much any one major thing as it was a bunch of stuff that sort of happened all at once. And just sucked all the enjoyment out of the ride, so to speak. But here I am again, ever the little trooper, trying desperately to catch up in the game after sitting it out and steaming for too long after Fate dealt me a bit of a bad beat. And if my cheap poker metaphor isn't enough to convince you that I'm trying my best... well, hopefully if I post more often, that'll do the trick.
I don't really know how to get everyone all caught up with me, but maybe if I just spit it all out a bit at a time, much like my dentist and Scary Uncle Bob always told me to, that'll be sufficient. So.... cue the Paul Oakenfold and smoke 'em if you got 'em.
I had to move out of my house. Didn't wanna go (*HATE* the town I live in. Loved that damn house though), but my roommate wasn't paying his share, so I had to make the command decision to get out before it got too bad financially. I gave my kitten Mac to my friend Emily for awhile, who promptly moved herself, and then let him escape, and *then* ran him over with a goddamn truck. Fortunately his injuries weren't too bad, and I got him and took him to a vet for immediate treatment... well, immediate once she told me about it anyway, three days after the accident. He's alright now though. I was really worried for awhile though. I finally understand how some people think of their pets as their kids. Mac is sort of my first real pet who is all mine, and I've grown really fond of the little furball. So when he got hurt while he was in someone else's care, that really got to me. But fortunately I've got him back now where he belongs and he's alright. A lot of TLC from his "daddy" and he's back to his old self again - a little slower and more cautious in his movements now, but the cuteness is still baked right in.
I moved back to my mom's house after leaving my own. It was supposed to be a temporary move til I could afford to get my pert Irish ass back to Kansas City. I was also there to take care of my mom for awhile while she went through her cancer treatments. Unfortunately, she hasn't been doing very well. All I know for sure if that it takes her longer and longer to recover from her chemo treatments now... and that seems to be the opposite of what I assume it should be doing.
Unfortunately the temporary stay at my mother's was shortened even more due to the fact that my stepfather didn't want me living there anymore. Long story that, although I could simplfy it greatly by saying "He don't like me none". Hmm... I guess it wasn't that long a story after all. Anyway, as much as I would have preferred to take off for KC at this point, I still couldn't afford to do that yet. So I took the only other option available to me and moved into my friend Greg's house in his tiny little spare bedroom. That's not something I ever wanted to do, but when your back is up against the wall and times are tough, you... move in with Greg, I guess.
So that's where I am now. I'd have hoped that I'd have been able to get away from here for a few good times in Wichita with my friends there. Unfortunately for the last month and a half or so, they've been kind of busy living their lives and weren't really interested in me being a part of them as much as I would hope. That's a big part of what bummed me out so bad in my last post because I was at a point (and still am) where I really need friends right now to keep me going and let me know I'm not forgotten and out of the game. Some have remembered that... sort of. Some haven't at all. But I have to remember the lessons learned from all the downs-and-outs over the last year (or the last two and a half years, depending on how far back you want to go) and roll with the punches. Que sera, sera... or some such bullshit. I'll survive. Hell, I've been through worse. Maybe the roller coaster will be heading back uphill sooner or later. We'll see.
Now lest I forget, there's a few people reading this to whom I owe a big apology and a big thank you - for not forgetting about me, and more importantly for *caring*. In my depression, I sometimes forget that there are people out there who actually *do* give a shit, even if I don't see them often, or even if I've never formally met them in person for that matter. Nevertheless, they've shown time and time again that they care. And that when you get right down to it, friends can be there for you... even when they aren't able to be *THERE* for you.
Thanks, you guys. And I'm sorry. I'll try not to let you down again.
BTW, there's one last bit of news I have to talk about, but that'll have to wait for another post. I'm not trying to delay the suspense here, but there's someone I need to run it by first. Once I'm able to post about it, I will, and it'll make more sense then. Until then, thanks for your patience. I promise I won't tax it like last time.
Have you ever noticed that every once in awhile life seems to go 'round and 'round in cycles? Sometimes it's like one of those rollercoasters that go full-speed on a track, and at the end of the track it shoots you right back the way you came, only this time in reverse. By the time you've been through the loops and turns the first time, we're supposed to enjoy the same loops and turns more the second time around because you can't see what's coming. Life is like that too sometimes, and even though you should know what's coming the second time around, you either have your eyes closed or you've deliberately chosen to forget what happened the first time around or you've fooled yourself into thinking that *this* time, it'll be different.
It never is.
This is karma. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Bend over and fuckin' deal with it.
I got a little upset the last time I posted for several reasons, none of which should even surprise me considering it's all happened before and I should be used to it by now. It wasn't even so much any one major thing as it was a bunch of stuff that sort of happened all at once. And just sucked all the enjoyment out of the ride, so to speak. But here I am again, ever the little trooper, trying desperately to catch up in the game after sitting it out and steaming for too long after Fate dealt me a bit of a bad beat. And if my cheap poker metaphor isn't enough to convince you that I'm trying my best... well, hopefully if I post more often, that'll do the trick.
I don't really know how to get everyone all caught up with me, but maybe if I just spit it all out a bit at a time, much like my dentist and Scary Uncle Bob always told me to, that'll be sufficient. So.... cue the Paul Oakenfold and smoke 'em if you got 'em.
I had to move out of my house. Didn't wanna go (*HATE* the town I live in. Loved that damn house though), but my roommate wasn't paying his share, so I had to make the command decision to get out before it got too bad financially. I gave my kitten Mac to my friend Emily for awhile, who promptly moved herself, and then let him escape, and *then* ran him over with a goddamn truck. Fortunately his injuries weren't too bad, and I got him and took him to a vet for immediate treatment... well, immediate once she told me about it anyway, three days after the accident. He's alright now though. I was really worried for awhile though. I finally understand how some people think of their pets as their kids. Mac is sort of my first real pet who is all mine, and I've grown really fond of the little furball. So when he got hurt while he was in someone else's care, that really got to me. But fortunately I've got him back now where he belongs and he's alright. A lot of TLC from his "daddy" and he's back to his old self again - a little slower and more cautious in his movements now, but the cuteness is still baked right in.
I moved back to my mom's house after leaving my own. It was supposed to be a temporary move til I could afford to get my pert Irish ass back to Kansas City. I was also there to take care of my mom for awhile while she went through her cancer treatments. Unfortunately, she hasn't been doing very well. All I know for sure if that it takes her longer and longer to recover from her chemo treatments now... and that seems to be the opposite of what I assume it should be doing.
Unfortunately the temporary stay at my mother's was shortened even more due to the fact that my stepfather didn't want me living there anymore. Long story that, although I could simplfy it greatly by saying "He don't like me none". Hmm... I guess it wasn't that long a story after all. Anyway, as much as I would have preferred to take off for KC at this point, I still couldn't afford to do that yet. So I took the only other option available to me and moved into my friend Greg's house in his tiny little spare bedroom. That's not something I ever wanted to do, but when your back is up against the wall and times are tough, you... move in with Greg, I guess.
So that's where I am now. I'd have hoped that I'd have been able to get away from here for a few good times in Wichita with my friends there. Unfortunately for the last month and a half or so, they've been kind of busy living their lives and weren't really interested in me being a part of them as much as I would hope. That's a big part of what bummed me out so bad in my last post because I was at a point (and still am) where I really need friends right now to keep me going and let me know I'm not forgotten and out of the game. Some have remembered that... sort of. Some haven't at all. But I have to remember the lessons learned from all the downs-and-outs over the last year (or the last two and a half years, depending on how far back you want to go) and roll with the punches. Que sera, sera... or some such bullshit. I'll survive. Hell, I've been through worse. Maybe the roller coaster will be heading back uphill sooner or later. We'll see.
Now lest I forget, there's a few people reading this to whom I owe a big apology and a big thank you - for not forgetting about me, and more importantly for *caring*. In my depression, I sometimes forget that there are people out there who actually *do* give a shit, even if I don't see them often, or even if I've never formally met them in person for that matter. Nevertheless, they've shown time and time again that they care. And that when you get right down to it, friends can be there for you... even when they aren't able to be *THERE* for you.
Thanks, you guys. And I'm sorry. I'll try not to let you down again.
BTW, there's one last bit of news I have to talk about, but that'll have to wait for another post. I'm not trying to delay the suspense here, but there's someone I need to run it by first. Once I'm able to post about it, I will, and it'll make more sense then. Until then, thanks for your patience. I promise I won't tax it like last time.