Britney Says...

Aug 23, 2005 01:33

A little PSA from my *KIPUNCHUMP* buddy...


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wtfunkymonkey August 23 2005, 08:53:31 UTC


it's kinda hard to see what was going on in the pic, this 'tard computer apparently can' handle the large graphic.

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deafmaestro August 23 2005, 15:27:18 UTC
It's a 762kb gif, and I've resized it to twices it's normal size, so that may be why. Fortunately, I can tell that you can see the hotness coming through just fine.

Just in case you're wondering, she's signing "You bitches leave Chad alone"...

'Cuz she loves me. :)

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wtfunkymonkey August 23 2005, 15:30:37 UTC
Yea, I was wondering actually. But mostly i was distracted a bit too much by her half frame lagging hottness.
Uhg. Alicia would kill me if she knew I said that.

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deafmaestro August 23 2005, 15:38:48 UTC
Don't worry. I won't tell her. ;)

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wtfunkymonkey August 23 2005, 15:54:49 UTC
Good, because I'm sure you;d hate to be blind as well as deaf.

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deafmaestro August 23 2005, 16:13:42 UTC
Personally, I think I could pull off a "Helen Keller" rather nicely. :)

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wtfunkymonkey August 23 2005, 16:22:20 UTC
why does helen keller masturbate with her left hand?

because she moans with her right.

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deafmaestro August 23 2005, 17:26:20 UTC
Trust me, I've heard 'em all. :)

Like, did you know Helen Keller had a horse?

Neither did she.

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wtfunkymonkey August 24 2005, 07:45:07 UTC
Ha! Nice.

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deafmaestro August 24 2005, 14:32:22 UTC
It gets better...

What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.

Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt?
She was bobbing for french fries.

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
She answer the iron.

How did she burn the other side of her face?
They called back.

Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
Her dog was blind too.

How did she burn her fingers?
Reading the waffle iron

What did she do when she fell down the well?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.

How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens

Why does she wear skin tight pants?
So you can read her lips

Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.

Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
Wind it up and it walks into walls.

What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
Helen Keller moaning

Who is the cruelest man in the world?
Helen Keller's rapist. He cut off her hands so she couldn't scream for help.

How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
Because she's DEAD!

How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?
Trying to read a stucco wall.

What did Helen's parent's do to punish her?
- Rearranged the furniture
- Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
- Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.
- Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
- Washed her hands out with soap
- Gave her bird-seed to read.
- Glued doorknobs to the walls

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
- She's a woman.
- She's dead.

How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car?
Trying to read stop signs.

How did Helen get a bunch of holes in her face?
By learning to eat with a fork.

What's the name of Helen Keller's favorite book?
"Around the Block in 80 Days"

Define true love.
Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.

How did Helen Keller drive her car?
One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date!

How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
Answering the stapler.

How did Helen Keller's teachers punish her for talking in class?
They made her wear mittens.

Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper?
So she could always find him.

Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?
From whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear

How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out?
She shouted hysterically.

And on and on and on and so forth.

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wtfunkymonkey August 24 2005, 14:51:48 UTC
I imagine that gets really old being deaf, as I get sick of geek jokes.

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deafmaestro August 24 2005, 15:19:35 UTC
Yep. I'll tell you what's worse though - I can't tell you how many times as a kid I heard the old (holding up middle finger) "So what does this mean in sign language?" or "Look! I know sign language!" I must've gotten that one a million fucking times, and *every time* they thought they were the first to think that up. Eventually I got tired of humoring them and just started riffing on how stupid they were to think they were being clever to such an extent that it goaded them into starting a fight... which I usually ended pretty quickly and violently (pent-up anger was my best friend in high school).

It's easier to get away with beating the shit out of people when it's discovered that A) they started it, and 2) you're defending yourself from a "hate crime". At least, that was the defense that got me off with little more than a warning, detention, or temporary suspension most of the time.

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wtfunkymonkey August 24 2005, 15:23:07 UTC
Man, i don't know if thats really funny or really fucked up.

hmm.. proabably both.

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deafmaestro August 24 2005, 15:27:35 UTC
Yep, pretty much.

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wtfunkymonkey August 23 2005, 15:31:37 UTC
aha! I see what you mean.

looks A LOT better.

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deafmaestro August 23 2005, 15:39:26 UTC
Trust me, she *always* looks that damn good.

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