(no subject)
Who the hell knows what is going on these days. I have been working a lot but also having a lot of fun. Emotionally-wise ... it has been tough. But I am at the point were I just wanna say fuck it and what happens ... well ... happens. I havn't really been feeling myself. I think this vacation will be a good thing for me. Because everytime I see my dad, something happens and I just feel relaxed and comfortable and I just feel like know who I am. My relationship with my dad, even though I grew up without him ... is very strong. We are exactly a like. You know those friends that you have had forever and you can finish each others sentences? Well, I don't see my dad every day, Hell ... I dont even talk to my dad every day ... but somehow I can finish his sentences and he knows what Im thinking and how I feel just by looking at each other. Its crazy
I guess there is only one thing that worries me about my dad and me ... that is: I dont want to end up like him ... 45 and unmarried. But the thing is I don't like being tied down ... I dont like having someone tell me what to do and when to do it. I dont like the feeling of commitment. I don't like having restrictions. Its not that Im afraid of being in a relationship because trust me ... I know what commitment is ... and after a while .. well ... I dont know, I dont want to say it gets old and very routine ...... but, IT DOES!. Do you see what Im trying to say? Or am I the only one that feels this way? (oh shit that rhymed) Anyway, that is just whats on my mind right now. Like I want someone to be there for me, I want someone to make me feel safe, I want someone that I can always hang out with and have a good time ...... but I don't want someone to limit me. Unfortunately I can't have both.
I guess there is only one thing that worries me about my dad and me ... that is: I dont want to end up like him ... 45 and unmarried. But the thing is I don't like being tied down ... I dont like having someone tell me what to do and when to do it. I dont like the feeling of commitment. I don't like having restrictions. Its not that Im afraid of being in a relationship because trust me ... I know what commitment is ... and after a while .. well ... I dont know, I dont want to say it gets old and very routine ...... but, IT DOES!. Do you see what Im trying to say? Or am I the only one that feels this way? (oh shit that rhymed) Anyway, that is just whats on my mind right now. Like I want someone to be there for me, I want someone to make me feel safe, I want someone that I can always hang out with and have a good time ...... but I don't want someone to limit me. Unfortunately I can't have both.