shit. happy birthday cam.

[deafening_hum]

Today was your birthday.
And you told no one.
I recall phone calls that your eyes wet.
The year i gave you a pillow
and the music of a cello and western horror.
I told myself i'd let you know today
That i missed you today
but i forgot your birthday
In the same way you've forgotten my existence.
You sit right next to me.
And i am a stranger.
All i do is think about our conversations soaked with emotions.
All i do is think about all of the other ones who came after you.
The ones i also no longer know.
I wonder if anyone else would give you comfort on your birthday
a soft touch against your face and hand
to have and to hold when your mouth can only pour out words that make you cry.
but you cry no more
and you have braces no more
and you smile, so much more
and you don't need me anymore.
But i'm still right next to you.
waiting for a hello.
or a glance that tells me you still know who i am.
just hold her hand
hold her hand
hold her hand
i bet she knows nothing about the life we had.
i guess no one does.
that is why we needed eachother.
for the comfort on birthdays
for memory.
for a grasp of time we did not want to let go.
but we've let go...
there are different hands to hold.