amazed
this week has just sucked so badly...
I want to see Jared... he always makes me happy...
Tracy's been making me feel a LOT better... after that whole fight thing with her and megan, I was so afraid I'd lost her... and so having her be there for me this past week, during my breakdown has really meant alot... she's really been amazing to me, which I thought for sure wouldn't happen... not because shes not that type of person, cuz she SO is... just because shes kellys sister... I guess I've been wrong about alot lately, that included...
And Reeni too has been amazing... having her to hang out with has made these past few weeks so much better... I think she'll probably smell of axe for a week now... and thats ok... except its that really bad one, Orion that she liked... ::yick:: Essence and Touch were so much better... and I think the other one was called Phoenix... no wait... it was called Tsunami!!! yep... that one smelled REALLY good... omg... and Reeni, u r SO coming over one day n watching finding neverland... and we're making margaritas!!! so happening ::nods::
My moms all worried about me... she wants to call (i just tried to spell that with a k... oops) kellys mom and talk to her... and I was just like mom NO... then she said she was thinking of sending me back to see sherry... great like I need THAT... seriously, I just want my mom to BACK OFF!!!
and I want Jared to ask me out... I'm over my whole, 'oh I don't deserve the attention' kick... I can stop feeling bad for myself now... my life may suck royally, but I don't not deserve to be happy... it's my own civil right... it's actually IN the constitution... Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness right??? right... so with that in mind... I WANT JARED TO ASK ME OUT!!! I'll see him tomorrow... and we'll talk... and flirt... ohhhh he's so CUTE!!!
I've decided to ignore the comments left on my journal... YES they did hurt... and yeah, I probably have been a little too sensitive towards them... but still... I don't need to go all suicidal crazy perosn because of it... I don't like myself when Im like that... I do bad things... like write my last entry ::looks around guiltily:: y'all never saw that ok??? ok
Tonight, during the thunderstorm, I went out on my break... and I saw Meggie and Meaghan coming over and we were talking... and then Jourdan came... and then Zano and Conrad and Rita... and we were all sitting around outside battistons smoking and talking and then a thunderhead went by... and it was REALLY loud... and every girl (me, Meggie, Meaghan, Jourdan, Rita) SCREAMED... like bloody murder... scared the SHIT out of us all... we were like shaking... no joke... twas awful... Zano n Conrad were laughing at us...
Jasons officially the love of my life... ::nods:: he's incredible...
and NATE QUIT BATTISTONS!!! I'm so pissed at him... seriously... like now its basically just Ryan and Jay working there... and so they hafta work like every after school shift... I feel so bad for them...
Yesterday, I seriously spent like an hour and a half just hanging out with Eric... omb I'm gonna miss that kid... he's such a sweetheart... I heart him so much... it was so much fun, playing with the ball and the picture and the elevator and then walking around and talking and joking and he's so cute... hes moving to VT in 2 weeks... and then after that he's going to NY for college... but he promised to come visit me and Phil at what he calls Shitzgeralds... I don't blame him
I also talked to Clarence yesterday... we were reminiscing about health class back in the day and Diane being a bitch... talking about emotional detatchment and anorexia and stuff... oh he's a cool kid... I can't believe I haven't talked to him in so long... well thats a lie because I did talk to him, just not full on long convo talked
Me, Becca and Renee are determined to ask the guy with the earings that comes into fitzies if he's the manager of the gold club... some one told us he was... we want free entry... and renees gonna apply at hooters ::nods:: we're making her... she says she wont get accepted but we know she will be... Ian was trying to convince Becca that I was rascist... it's funny though because Becca's black... so she just looked at him and was just like 'if shes rascist, why is she friends with me' and Ian was all 'because she doesn't want people thinking shes a rascist' and me and Becca looked at each other just like ummmmm yeeeaaaaa RIIIIGGHHHTTT...
ooh I'm so FAT!!! Last night, I ate breakfast and dinner... then I went out with the Reeni and we got tollhouse cookie pie and one way fair... and then today ive had breakfast and semi dinner... I can't really remember if I ate lunch or not... is that bad??? anyways... I need to cut down... I'm trying to LOSE weight not gain it... yesterday I felt SO bloated after that pie... I knew I shouldn't have eaten it... I just didn't care... my mom says I've been eating like a bird lately... Jourdan says I've lost weight, that my waist is smaller... but not good enough... I want to look THIN!!! it's a goal I SHALL REACH!!!
Today was my spanish final... OMB!!! I dind't want to ahnd in that sheet that was like teacher evaluation, but he MADE ME!!! I know SO annoying... and then me and Jourdan presented our project and his computer fucked with our colors... and of course I got all the slides with the blue writing (the backgrounds all got changed to a weird bluish thing) and so I couldn't read ne of my slides and so I think we got marked down because of me... it WASN'T MY FAULT!!! I COULDN'T SEE THEM!!! last day with my Jourdan baby in Spanish... twas sad...
newayz, I'm done for awhile... I have 2 finals tomorrow and I need sleep!!! plus I feel like getting a little tipsy... margaritas ne1??? hmmn... I'm off... luv to y'all and much hugz!!!
I want to see Jared... he always makes me happy...
Tracy's been making me feel a LOT better... after that whole fight thing with her and megan, I was so afraid I'd lost her... and so having her be there for me this past week, during my breakdown has really meant alot... she's really been amazing to me, which I thought for sure wouldn't happen... not because shes not that type of person, cuz she SO is... just because shes kellys sister... I guess I've been wrong about alot lately, that included...
And Reeni too has been amazing... having her to hang out with has made these past few weeks so much better... I think she'll probably smell of axe for a week now... and thats ok... except its that really bad one, Orion that she liked... ::yick:: Essence and Touch were so much better... and I think the other one was called Phoenix... no wait... it was called Tsunami!!! yep... that one smelled REALLY good... omg... and Reeni, u r SO coming over one day n watching finding neverland... and we're making margaritas!!! so happening ::nods::
My moms all worried about me... she wants to call (i just tried to spell that with a k... oops) kellys mom and talk to her... and I was just like mom NO... then she said she was thinking of sending me back to see sherry... great like I need THAT... seriously, I just want my mom to BACK OFF!!!
and I want Jared to ask me out... I'm over my whole, 'oh I don't deserve the attention' kick... I can stop feeling bad for myself now... my life may suck royally, but I don't not deserve to be happy... it's my own civil right... it's actually IN the constitution... Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness right??? right... so with that in mind... I WANT JARED TO ASK ME OUT!!! I'll see him tomorrow... and we'll talk... and flirt... ohhhh he's so CUTE!!!
I've decided to ignore the comments left on my journal... YES they did hurt... and yeah, I probably have been a little too sensitive towards them... but still... I don't need to go all suicidal crazy perosn because of it... I don't like myself when Im like that... I do bad things... like write my last entry ::looks around guiltily:: y'all never saw that ok??? ok
Tonight, during the thunderstorm, I went out on my break... and I saw Meggie and Meaghan coming over and we were talking... and then Jourdan came... and then Zano and Conrad and Rita... and we were all sitting around outside battistons smoking and talking and then a thunderhead went by... and it was REALLY loud... and every girl (me, Meggie, Meaghan, Jourdan, Rita) SCREAMED... like bloody murder... scared the SHIT out of us all... we were like shaking... no joke... twas awful... Zano n Conrad were laughing at us...
Jasons officially the love of my life... ::nods:: he's incredible...
and NATE QUIT BATTISTONS!!! I'm so pissed at him... seriously... like now its basically just Ryan and Jay working there... and so they hafta work like every after school shift... I feel so bad for them...
Yesterday, I seriously spent like an hour and a half just hanging out with Eric... omb I'm gonna miss that kid... he's such a sweetheart... I heart him so much... it was so much fun, playing with the ball and the picture and the elevator and then walking around and talking and joking and he's so cute... hes moving to VT in 2 weeks... and then after that he's going to NY for college... but he promised to come visit me and Phil at what he calls Shitzgeralds... I don't blame him
I also talked to Clarence yesterday... we were reminiscing about health class back in the day and Diane being a bitch... talking about emotional detatchment and anorexia and stuff... oh he's a cool kid... I can't believe I haven't talked to him in so long... well thats a lie because I did talk to him, just not full on long convo talked
Me, Becca and Renee are determined to ask the guy with the earings that comes into fitzies if he's the manager of the gold club... some one told us he was... we want free entry... and renees gonna apply at hooters ::nods:: we're making her... she says she wont get accepted but we know she will be... Ian was trying to convince Becca that I was rascist... it's funny though because Becca's black... so she just looked at him and was just like 'if shes rascist, why is she friends with me' and Ian was all 'because she doesn't want people thinking shes a rascist' and me and Becca looked at each other just like ummmmm yeeeaaaaa RIIIIGGHHHTTT...
ooh I'm so FAT!!! Last night, I ate breakfast and dinner... then I went out with the Reeni and we got tollhouse cookie pie and one way fair... and then today ive had breakfast and semi dinner... I can't really remember if I ate lunch or not... is that bad??? anyways... I need to cut down... I'm trying to LOSE weight not gain it... yesterday I felt SO bloated after that pie... I knew I shouldn't have eaten it... I just didn't care... my mom says I've been eating like a bird lately... Jourdan says I've lost weight, that my waist is smaller... but not good enough... I want to look THIN!!! it's a goal I SHALL REACH!!!
Today was my spanish final... OMB!!! I dind't want to ahnd in that sheet that was like teacher evaluation, but he MADE ME!!! I know SO annoying... and then me and Jourdan presented our project and his computer fucked with our colors... and of course I got all the slides with the blue writing (the backgrounds all got changed to a weird bluish thing) and so I couldn't read ne of my slides and so I think we got marked down because of me... it WASN'T MY FAULT!!! I COULDN'T SEE THEM!!! last day with my Jourdan baby in Spanish... twas sad...
newayz, I'm done for awhile... I have 2 finals tomorrow and I need sleep!!! plus I feel like getting a little tipsy... margaritas ne1??? hmmn... I'm off... luv to y'all and much hugz!!!