(no subject)
any of you still talk to your ex bf's? I guess, I'm still weak like that. I still talk to shane after all he did to me. Cause, I know right now I can't survive without his non=returned tainted love. He was the first guy to acually accept me as who i am. That was two years ago..why did that change? I thought he was in love with me until I discovered that he was asking for dates by his highschool crushes online. I never saw it coming until it hit me right in the fuckin face. I've never been one to deal well with my emotions. Right now I'd like to run away to my eating disorder or cutting..but I know he isn't worth it. I still wait for his calls until I can no longer wait. In my head i still call him mine when he really isn't. Wow he sure fooled me. Why am i the one crying after he cheated on me? prefer to do drugs than talk to me? I don't know what i did wrong. Other than love you with all my heart. I thought he knew better than to hurt me and abandon me. He promised me forever and forever. I was stupid enough to give my morals up for him. Because, I thought he loved me. There is one thing I hate in this world liars and cheaters. You knew that but you know i'm always gonna be there. I asked god the other night "I thought all the hard-times and trails were over"? I don't deserve to hurt. The other night i told him "I'm sad and I hurt do sad" and he said "why not try weed it will make you feel better". FUCKIN PIECE OF SHIT I HATE YOU BUT STILL LOVE YOU. It's like the man I knew 2 years ago never exsisted. sorry for my whinning. :(