no one to share my day with
when i was little, i remember my grandma calling our house a lot, just to talk, for no reason in particular. i think this must have been annoying to my parents, because they had a secret phone system where friends and relatives would call, let the phone ring twice, then hang up and call again. that way we knew who was calling. my grandma wasn't told about this system.
now that i am older, i call home a lot, just to talk, for no reason in particular. plenty of them go unanswered because they are also annoying. maybe if my grandma were still alive, we could just call each other and talk instead. i am a lot like her.
~~
today i called my mom to tell her that i have managed to have a 100% in two of my four classes this semester so far. she let me know that i need friends my own age, and that she doesn't care to talk about these things with me.
"i'm your mom, not your friend."
she didnt come to my basic training graduation; all the other parents were there.
she didnt come to my defense language institute graduation; most of the other parents were there.
she came to my cryptologic school graduation, but quickly let me know that she wished she'd spent the time visiting my brother instead.
the big one:
in 2005, i had a month off between living in the united states and moving to korea, and she invited me to stay with her during that time. i ended my rental agreement and took my suitcase to her house. by the third day, we got in an argument and she drove me to the airport to buy a same-day ticket to 'somewhere, anywhere' even though i didn't have a cell phone and had no where to go since i was leaving the country in a few weeks. all my belongings were in transit somewhere between the two countries. i was homeless. i bought a same-day ticket to atlanta and stayed in the apartment of some guy i barely knew until it was time for my flight to korea.
my dad... i don't know well enough to even talk badly about.
i'm just so lonely sometimes.
they're going to christmas without me again this year, which makes about 7 years running that i haven't participated in.
... :)
now that i am older, i call home a lot, just to talk, for no reason in particular. plenty of them go unanswered because they are also annoying. maybe if my grandma were still alive, we could just call each other and talk instead. i am a lot like her.
~~
today i called my mom to tell her that i have managed to have a 100% in two of my four classes this semester so far. she let me know that i need friends my own age, and that she doesn't care to talk about these things with me.
"i'm your mom, not your friend."
she didnt come to my basic training graduation; all the other parents were there.
she didnt come to my defense language institute graduation; most of the other parents were there.
she came to my cryptologic school graduation, but quickly let me know that she wished she'd spent the time visiting my brother instead.
the big one:
in 2005, i had a month off between living in the united states and moving to korea, and she invited me to stay with her during that time. i ended my rental agreement and took my suitcase to her house. by the third day, we got in an argument and she drove me to the airport to buy a same-day ticket to 'somewhere, anywhere' even though i didn't have a cell phone and had no where to go since i was leaving the country in a few weeks. all my belongings were in transit somewhere between the two countries. i was homeless. i bought a same-day ticket to atlanta and stayed in the apartment of some guy i barely knew until it was time for my flight to korea.
my dad... i don't know well enough to even talk badly about.
i'm just so lonely sometimes.
they're going to christmas without me again this year, which makes about 7 years running that i haven't participated in.
... :)