NY & CT shows
So I did two shows recently that were pretty far away. I like to consider myself a traveling comedian. But that's really all I went to and that's all I have lined up for right now. Ok.
New York: This show sucked the big one. I was so excited b/c I was performing in NYC. I saw this thing online for comedians to do this showcase show in NYC and a guy from an entertainment company was gonna watch you and if you were good enough, they would consider you to go on tour and open for this guy at colleges and stuff. So I'm really nervous. But the nervousness went away the second we walk in the door. The club was about the size of my bedroom and it was dark and quite ghetto. It was a showcase show, so I had to bring 5 people, and I brought 7. There were about 10 other people in the audience besides the 7 that I brought. Obviously, the other comedians didn't bring anyone. Clue #1 that this is gonna suck. All the comedians were terrible. Nobody was laughing for obvious reasons. I had never seen such terrible comedy. And that's saying alot. I felt like I was at the Northeast Comedy Cabaret open mic night, but worse. Finally, it was my turn to go up there. I was supposed to do 10 minutes. The audience isn't laughing at all for many reasons. They're really bored at this point. It was already over an hour into this hellfest. Plus before I went on, the waitress was handing out the checks to each table so everyone's figuring out how much they owe and shit. Plus I noticed that the guy that was supposed to watch me and hire me for this touring thing wasn't even paying attention to my act and even left at the beginning! I was pissed as I was onstage doing my jokes. I ended up doing only 6 minutes. I wanted out. Plus they overcharged my friends for drinks and all that shit. They were kicking us out as soon as the show was over b/c they had a bigger, better show to do. There were people lined up outside for the show after us. How come that didn't happen at my show?!? It sucked b/c I was in NY and I just wanted to be home. I was angry. Then they had the nerve to email me again about a week later and ask to do the showcase show again. They were gonna watch me and see if I would be good enough to host the showcase show every Sat night. Fuck that! There's no way I'm doing this every week. I'd rather kill myself.
Connecticut: So I'm very skeptical about this show b/c of the NY show. I pick up my friend Tara Young and we drive all the way there. It took over 5 hours b/c we were stuck in traffic nearly the entire time!! It sucked ass. Plus our friend Pat House was supposed to go with us but he couldn't go b/c he was getting his tonsils taken out. That kinda sucked too. But we made it there and met the kid that booked us. He was in a band that was playing that night too. I was scared as hell to perform b/c it was gonna be in front of a bunch of punk rock kids. Punk rock kids scare me. They're so intense. So we get there and it's this little bar called the Bank Street Cafe. There's a splattering of kids hanging out. It was time for Tara to go up b/c she was hosting the show. At the beginning it was pretty bad b/c noone was paying attention, she didn't get an intro, and people were drinking, talking and playing pool. But people started to take notice after a little and got closer to the stage and listened and laughed. It made me a little more confident to go up. Then an acoustic couple played a couple songs after her. They were hippies. So all the punk rock kids, pretty much went out on the deck in the back and smoked/drank/hung out. I was kinda mad b/c that made all the audience leave that Tara earned! So Tara came back on and the kids came back inside. She introduced me and I did 20 minutes! That's the most I ever did. I got a good response. Alot of them were really cool. I did a new joke where I'm talking about how I'm afraid of needles and I ask if anyone in the audience is afraid of them too. I got a quiet blank response. Then I said, "Well, geez, look who I'm talking to. A bunch of tattoo covered punk rock kids. ..... Oi." Then they started to crack up. It was awesome. After we were done, we kinda hung out and talked. It was such a cool place to be b/c everyone knew everyone else and it was like hanging out at home. They were so excited to see us comedians b/c they don't have any comedy clubs in CT. Some kids came to the show just to see us do comedy. It was really cool. Too bad we didn't get paid. The kid that booked us was 3 sheets to the wind by the time we were ready to leave. I guess we learned a lesson: get paid before the show starts. Oi! Life on the Streets! We left that night and I didn't get home until about 4 in the morning. I had to work at Ruby Tuesday the next morning. I'm so punk rock!
J
New York: This show sucked the big one. I was so excited b/c I was performing in NYC. I saw this thing online for comedians to do this showcase show in NYC and a guy from an entertainment company was gonna watch you and if you were good enough, they would consider you to go on tour and open for this guy at colleges and stuff. So I'm really nervous. But the nervousness went away the second we walk in the door. The club was about the size of my bedroom and it was dark and quite ghetto. It was a showcase show, so I had to bring 5 people, and I brought 7. There were about 10 other people in the audience besides the 7 that I brought. Obviously, the other comedians didn't bring anyone. Clue #1 that this is gonna suck. All the comedians were terrible. Nobody was laughing for obvious reasons. I had never seen such terrible comedy. And that's saying alot. I felt like I was at the Northeast Comedy Cabaret open mic night, but worse. Finally, it was my turn to go up there. I was supposed to do 10 minutes. The audience isn't laughing at all for many reasons. They're really bored at this point. It was already over an hour into this hellfest. Plus before I went on, the waitress was handing out the checks to each table so everyone's figuring out how much they owe and shit. Plus I noticed that the guy that was supposed to watch me and hire me for this touring thing wasn't even paying attention to my act and even left at the beginning! I was pissed as I was onstage doing my jokes. I ended up doing only 6 minutes. I wanted out. Plus they overcharged my friends for drinks and all that shit. They were kicking us out as soon as the show was over b/c they had a bigger, better show to do. There were people lined up outside for the show after us. How come that didn't happen at my show?!? It sucked b/c I was in NY and I just wanted to be home. I was angry. Then they had the nerve to email me again about a week later and ask to do the showcase show again. They were gonna watch me and see if I would be good enough to host the showcase show every Sat night. Fuck that! There's no way I'm doing this every week. I'd rather kill myself.
Connecticut: So I'm very skeptical about this show b/c of the NY show. I pick up my friend Tara Young and we drive all the way there. It took over 5 hours b/c we were stuck in traffic nearly the entire time!! It sucked ass. Plus our friend Pat House was supposed to go with us but he couldn't go b/c he was getting his tonsils taken out. That kinda sucked too. But we made it there and met the kid that booked us. He was in a band that was playing that night too. I was scared as hell to perform b/c it was gonna be in front of a bunch of punk rock kids. Punk rock kids scare me. They're so intense. So we get there and it's this little bar called the Bank Street Cafe. There's a splattering of kids hanging out. It was time for Tara to go up b/c she was hosting the show. At the beginning it was pretty bad b/c noone was paying attention, she didn't get an intro, and people were drinking, talking and playing pool. But people started to take notice after a little and got closer to the stage and listened and laughed. It made me a little more confident to go up. Then an acoustic couple played a couple songs after her. They were hippies. So all the punk rock kids, pretty much went out on the deck in the back and smoked/drank/hung out. I was kinda mad b/c that made all the audience leave that Tara earned! So Tara came back on and the kids came back inside. She introduced me and I did 20 minutes! That's the most I ever did. I got a good response. Alot of them were really cool. I did a new joke where I'm talking about how I'm afraid of needles and I ask if anyone in the audience is afraid of them too. I got a quiet blank response. Then I said, "Well, geez, look who I'm talking to. A bunch of tattoo covered punk rock kids. ..... Oi." Then they started to crack up. It was awesome. After we were done, we kinda hung out and talked. It was such a cool place to be b/c everyone knew everyone else and it was like hanging out at home. They were so excited to see us comedians b/c they don't have any comedy clubs in CT. Some kids came to the show just to see us do comedy. It was really cool. Too bad we didn't get paid. The kid that booked us was 3 sheets to the wind by the time we were ready to leave. I guess we learned a lesson: get paid before the show starts. Oi! Life on the Streets! We left that night and I didn't get home until about 4 in the morning. I had to work at Ruby Tuesday the next morning. I'm so punk rock!
J