And my photograph's an epitaph of parody, I dont want to be me
Sometimes things bother me too much. Dumb things. Small things. And I never do anything about it because they seem so small and useless, that I just let them go.
But Ive come to notice over time, the seem to build up on each other. And soon all these small useless things turn into much more.
Im not sure where all this is infact coming from, I know that its early.. and Im up. So that there, in itself can be one problem.
Also perhaps the only reason Im typing this in here is b/c I dont really have anyone to talk to with all of this.... ok,... I take that back.. I have MANY people I takl too, and could ramble on with this too, just not really any I feel like I could talk too. I used to have that and I dont anymore... and it is greatly missed =\
Ok, now that I made that sound all depressed and whatnot, Ill move on with an actually update.
Not all that much has been going on... last nite I was with Fish n Randall.. Good guys, crazy AND creepy as hell, but good guys.
Some oh lets see, baby powder, water, bbq chips and many other things were thrown.. fun times.
Saturday Travis and I went to my cousins party. Great times. Travis, hes an nice guy, lovely infact... I just dont think I could ever... hes... sad thing is he IS my "type" if I even have one of those. Hes sweet, and funny, and likes to party and have a goodtime, hes friends with my cousin which is good Im going to guess, he likes the same bands I do. Likes HIM I mean.... ok so basically the kid has almost every effin quality I would say I "wanted" in a guy... dark long like hair.. tattoo's, piercings
[damn I need to steal a pic of him to post on here]
But anyways being that we went there together, we were talkin. The poor child sat there an basically told me how he feels for me, and all of the above... and I just kinda sat there... I mean.. hell I didnt know what to say, Ive known the kid for like 2 months. And thing is... even tho he fits so much into this "type" I cast for myself as what I like... I dont seem to have any real feelings for him other than friendship. Confusing ey?
I dont even understand it.
But I dont know what to do, I mean... part of me is like.. "hell try it see what happens if it works, then great, if not oh well"
And part of me is like " You dont really care about him it would be wrong to do that, especially when you know you may care about someone else"
Oh and this "someone else" you ask. Yeah, no worries on where that may go, b/c Ive been told that he likes someone else.. tho I dont know how reliable my "sources" are... and I question them, I have but no other choice than believe it. Especially when it was randomly brought up... its not like I questioned people on it.
But then again.. the people that told me .. hmm
yeahh oh well, even if its not true, I know im not someone he would care for, atleast as more than a friend. I mean... hell I dont even know what I mean. Gah. I kinda just want to say what I feel, but its harder than that. >.<
I hate feelings.. since when do I have feelings.
Dave fuck you... [I needed a random outburts sorry kid, that and I for what ever reason pictured you saying some smartass remark after I typed that]
Ahhh this entry is really long and prolly makes not one bit of sense, but thats why I typed it I guess.
I wish I knew what to do about all this, I mean.. with the travis thing Im pretty well set on what Im going to do.... but as for everything else.... I just.. iokno. I cant care about someone who looks at me as just another friend.. and yet I still do. SO to hell with it I just dont have a clue as to what I should do.
Id enjoy your opinions, Really I would.
But Im off, so you all should know the number... god damnit use it, keep me company today.
TomXsXeX: they are ok
TomXsXeX: when they scream they are great but the rest is like emo garbage
MindFreakLoyal: Haha
MindFreakLoyal: Heyyy some emo stuff isnt bad
TomXsXeX: well i dont enjoy it
MindFreakLoyal: Lol
TomXsXeX: like all those emo pop punk band that make me want to kill every human
MindFreakLoyal: Lmao
MindFreakLoyal: such as?
TomXsXeX: haha this is when people get mad
TomXsXeX: Used, MRC, fall out boy...
TomXsXeX: i cant stain them
TomXsXeX: *stand
MindFreakLoyal: Ahhh heyy I like Fall out Boy and I Fn love the used
TomXsXeX: im my mind its no different from like maroon 5 and john mayer
TomXsXeX: ohh so he says fuck on the cd that makes him tough
TomXsXeX: im sorry id like life in jail to kill Bert
TomXsXeX: *live
Tom, you make me smile kid, thanks
But Ive come to notice over time, the seem to build up on each other. And soon all these small useless things turn into much more.
Im not sure where all this is infact coming from, I know that its early.. and Im up. So that there, in itself can be one problem.
Also perhaps the only reason Im typing this in here is b/c I dont really have anyone to talk to with all of this.... ok,... I take that back.. I have MANY people I takl too, and could ramble on with this too, just not really any I feel like I could talk too. I used to have that and I dont anymore... and it is greatly missed =\
Ok, now that I made that sound all depressed and whatnot, Ill move on with an actually update.
Not all that much has been going on... last nite I was with Fish n Randall.. Good guys, crazy AND creepy as hell, but good guys.
Some oh lets see, baby powder, water, bbq chips and many other things were thrown.. fun times.
Saturday Travis and I went to my cousins party. Great times. Travis, hes an nice guy, lovely infact... I just dont think I could ever... hes... sad thing is he IS my "type" if I even have one of those. Hes sweet, and funny, and likes to party and have a goodtime, hes friends with my cousin which is good Im going to guess, he likes the same bands I do. Likes HIM I mean.... ok so basically the kid has almost every effin quality I would say I "wanted" in a guy... dark long like hair.. tattoo's, piercings
[damn I need to steal a pic of him to post on here]
But anyways being that we went there together, we were talkin. The poor child sat there an basically told me how he feels for me, and all of the above... and I just kinda sat there... I mean.. hell I didnt know what to say, Ive known the kid for like 2 months. And thing is... even tho he fits so much into this "type" I cast for myself as what I like... I dont seem to have any real feelings for him other than friendship. Confusing ey?
I dont even understand it.
But I dont know what to do, I mean... part of me is like.. "hell try it see what happens if it works, then great, if not oh well"
And part of me is like " You dont really care about him it would be wrong to do that, especially when you know you may care about someone else"
Oh and this "someone else" you ask. Yeah, no worries on where that may go, b/c Ive been told that he likes someone else.. tho I dont know how reliable my "sources" are... and I question them, I have but no other choice than believe it. Especially when it was randomly brought up... its not like I questioned people on it.
But then again.. the people that told me .. hmm
yeahh oh well, even if its not true, I know im not someone he would care for, atleast as more than a friend. I mean... hell I dont even know what I mean. Gah. I kinda just want to say what I feel, but its harder than that. >.<
I hate feelings.. since when do I have feelings.
Dave fuck you... [I needed a random outburts sorry kid, that and I for what ever reason pictured you saying some smartass remark after I typed that]
Ahhh this entry is really long and prolly makes not one bit of sense, but thats why I typed it I guess.
I wish I knew what to do about all this, I mean.. with the travis thing Im pretty well set on what Im going to do.... but as for everything else.... I just.. iokno. I cant care about someone who looks at me as just another friend.. and yet I still do. SO to hell with it I just dont have a clue as to what I should do.
Id enjoy your opinions, Really I would.
But Im off, so you all should know the number... god damnit use it, keep me company today.
TomXsXeX: they are ok
TomXsXeX: when they scream they are great but the rest is like emo garbage
MindFreakLoyal: Haha
MindFreakLoyal: Heyyy some emo stuff isnt bad
TomXsXeX: well i dont enjoy it
MindFreakLoyal: Lol
TomXsXeX: like all those emo pop punk band that make me want to kill every human
MindFreakLoyal: Lmao
MindFreakLoyal: such as?
TomXsXeX: haha this is when people get mad
TomXsXeX: Used, MRC, fall out boy...
TomXsXeX: i cant stain them
TomXsXeX: *stand
MindFreakLoyal: Ahhh heyy I like Fall out Boy and I Fn love the used
TomXsXeX: im my mind its no different from like maroon 5 and john mayer
TomXsXeX: ohh so he says fuck on the cd that makes him tough
TomXsXeX: im sorry id like life in jail to kill Bert
TomXsXeX: *live
Tom, you make me smile kid, thanks