what a horrible....
it was a shitty weekend. it started off okay by having a little get together here at our house. saw a person or two that i haven't seen in ages. was cool, nice. we drank a little bit, ya know, the normal "ryan and juli house" but after a few ppl left, the rest of the crew decided to go up into the mountains like they always do. always get wood for fires and stuff. they do it just about every weekend or the next. anyway, while up there jeremy and john decided they were hungry. heh. always hungry. i told them not to go cuz i always get afraid something might happen to my brother. he's the world to me besides ryan. i just knew something would happen. they said naaaww it would be okay. they drive that route all the time, they know what to expect. they leave, i'm just sitting there waiting for them to get back. it usually takes about an hour or so for them to go into Vegas and back. well, 15 minutes after they left, ryan gets a phone call (good thing we were just outside the mountain, normally we go waaay in so there is no service on our cells). it's john saying "guess what we just did? we flipped the truck on it's lid." "what??" "we flipped the truck on it's top. we just rolled" i'm like...what?! HOLY !@#$ ryan and i run to our truck and drive as fast as we can down to where they were. i wasn't that bad going down there cuz john wasn't hurt, he was alive, talking to me saying "it is okay. i'm fine." when get get there, i'm upset but once i open my door and turn to get out, i see his truck....i start balling. freaking out. i couldn't stop crying and carrying on. the way that truck looked when we got there. OMG. all i could think about was "what if..." what if it was worse? the truck looked BAD. i couldn't believe both john and jeremy were okay. nothing got hurt. well, jeremy hit his head and didn't feel okay for awhile but nothing to have to go to the hospital or anything. Fuck.. while they all were flipping the thing back over, i was over to the side on my knees, crying, praying, thanking the gods for if nothing else, protecting my brother and my friend from being killed. i was upset the rest of the evening. i couldn't stop the crying. my brother was that close to dieing on me. i couldn't live without him. he's my best friend.
well, the next day he calls our parents and they of course freak out on him then call me and do the same. basically blaming me for not calling them or letting them know something happened. HE didn't want me to. but oh well. that was over. john's fine. he just needs a new truck. -sigh- i'll have to get pictures off of andrew sometime so i can try to get them online to show anyone who wants to see.
well, later that night we went to a party somewhere else in town and when ryan and i are at parties, we always seem to get into fights. i'm always cynical about parties. i hate parties. i hate ppl i don't know that is. i like parties here at my house but at other ppls houses...no. i don't know most of the ppl and most of the ppl(namely the girls) judge me right away and don't talk to me. they all seem to give me that look, ya know? those looks that make me feel like i don't belong for the rest of the night. blah. after that the mood just sucks. once while at this party, to get back to the story, ryan made a comment on not seeing being with someone in 17 years.... yet. like even though he married me, he couldn't see himself with me in 17 years. he couldn't see it...imagine it. the way he said it sounded like he didn't plan on being with me for that long. i get upset, said i wanted to go home. he gives me the keys, and i walk out. he follows but starts getting mad and we fight over him saying something....he didn't mean it the way i took it but he just wouldn't give it up, he wouldn't understand and forgive that i took it a different way. like he wasn't responsible for my feeling the way i did. i kept trying to explain it but he wouldn't hear it. it got worse, he went back inside. i called him from the car and we fought again. he hung up on me. i kept calling him back. lol he wouldn't answer. he finally turned his phone off. lol heh. yeah we got into it pretty bad. but that's okay. everything is fine now.
blah. so, i haven't felt like doing anything for a couple of days. but!!! i did get my Yoga Booty Ballet thing. i watched it first yesterday and finally today started on it. i did the basic today. it looks like fun. they dance a lot in the advanced part and things get funky throughout. it's great.
well, the next day he calls our parents and they of course freak out on him then call me and do the same. basically blaming me for not calling them or letting them know something happened. HE didn't want me to. but oh well. that was over. john's fine. he just needs a new truck. -sigh- i'll have to get pictures off of andrew sometime so i can try to get them online to show anyone who wants to see.
well, later that night we went to a party somewhere else in town and when ryan and i are at parties, we always seem to get into fights. i'm always cynical about parties. i hate parties. i hate ppl i don't know that is. i like parties here at my house but at other ppls houses...no. i don't know most of the ppl and most of the ppl(namely the girls) judge me right away and don't talk to me. they all seem to give me that look, ya know? those looks that make me feel like i don't belong for the rest of the night. blah. after that the mood just sucks. once while at this party, to get back to the story, ryan made a comment on not seeing being with someone in 17 years.... yet. like even though he married me, he couldn't see himself with me in 17 years. he couldn't see it...imagine it. the way he said it sounded like he didn't plan on being with me for that long. i get upset, said i wanted to go home. he gives me the keys, and i walk out. he follows but starts getting mad and we fight over him saying something....he didn't mean it the way i took it but he just wouldn't give it up, he wouldn't understand and forgive that i took it a different way. like he wasn't responsible for my feeling the way i did. i kept trying to explain it but he wouldn't hear it. it got worse, he went back inside. i called him from the car and we fought again. he hung up on me. i kept calling him back. lol he wouldn't answer. he finally turned his phone off. lol heh. yeah we got into it pretty bad. but that's okay. everything is fine now.
blah. so, i haven't felt like doing anything for a couple of days. but!!! i did get my Yoga Booty Ballet thing. i watched it first yesterday and finally today started on it. i did the basic today. it looks like fun. they dance a lot in the advanced part and things get funky throughout. it's great.