More Realization.
So much is different this year.
Meeting new ppl, in every which way.
I have sheltered myself more and I know it.
My writinig had stopped for a while but it is starting again, though I cant feel the rush through my blood and at the tips of my fingers: I know if I search for it I will find it.
I wrote a two poems and a lil spark of something and a starting for a knew story. I read a lot of my old stuff well anything that I had saved anyway. (I am still searching for some of it that I hadn't kept in my notebook).
I also see my loself losing it, I'm going crazy and this time im running in cirles and drilling my self into a hole in the ground.
I'm already three feet i dont kno how much longer I have to live.
Cutting is back, but it's not as bad. I'm controlling more so than last year and this summer.
I actually do like someone but I wont mention any names. Its been an interesting year so far. I can't go with the flow of tis hating myself and not wanting to be here. My version of "depression" is kicking back in. It is the same stages over again and this time I am still numb.
One person has really been able to kick me out of it, but sadly I no longer have kept in touch with them.
I need to not fail this year. I desperately need to not fail this year. My parents are still bringing stuff up about my mistakes and how i have around 32- 34 months left and the fact that I will most likely have an arranged married
Meeting new ppl, in every which way.
I have sheltered myself more and I know it.
My writinig had stopped for a while but it is starting again, though I cant feel the rush through my blood and at the tips of my fingers: I know if I search for it I will find it.
I wrote a two poems and a lil spark of something and a starting for a knew story. I read a lot of my old stuff well anything that I had saved anyway. (I am still searching for some of it that I hadn't kept in my notebook).
I also see my loself losing it, I'm going crazy and this time im running in cirles and drilling my self into a hole in the ground.
I'm already three feet i dont kno how much longer I have to live.
Cutting is back, but it's not as bad. I'm controlling more so than last year and this summer.
I actually do like someone but I wont mention any names. Its been an interesting year so far. I can't go with the flow of tis hating myself and not wanting to be here. My version of "depression" is kicking back in. It is the same stages over again and this time I am still numb.
One person has really been able to kick me out of it, but sadly I no longer have kept in touch with them.
I need to not fail this year. I desperately need to not fail this year. My parents are still bringing stuff up about my mistakes and how i have around 32- 34 months left and the fact that I will most likely have an arranged married