missing friends
tanya has been gone nearly a year now.
there has been some dark emotion haunting me, dragging me down these past months. i haven't had a name for it and have tried to ascribe it to other troubles- my health, moving, various world events, etc.
i was driving by her old place and my thoughts turned to miss tanya as they often do but instead of reflecting on the past i considered how i might have dealt with recent events if she were here. to council me. to listen. to jut be here.
losing myself in her day to day life was a hobby - her work. this guy. the club. her mom. this other guy. stuff that has nothing to do with me and is fascinating for that reason. so why not keep up on all these stellar non issues now that she is in douglas?
because she's dead. that's why.
no not really. but i have been mourning her like she was. at the turn of the century when people were immigrating from ireland in droves to america, them that were left behind had a funeral for those that were gone. leaving home to go so far away was as good as dieing in those days. the chance of seeing your loved one again was slight. nowadays we have phones and puters but she's not here. out of sight out of this mortal coil i guess.
any way. i called. we talked. i feel loads better. gonna visit before school starts if all goes well.
there has been some dark emotion haunting me, dragging me down these past months. i haven't had a name for it and have tried to ascribe it to other troubles- my health, moving, various world events, etc.
i was driving by her old place and my thoughts turned to miss tanya as they often do but instead of reflecting on the past i considered how i might have dealt with recent events if she were here. to council me. to listen. to jut be here.
losing myself in her day to day life was a hobby - her work. this guy. the club. her mom. this other guy. stuff that has nothing to do with me and is fascinating for that reason. so why not keep up on all these stellar non issues now that she is in douglas?
because she's dead. that's why.
no not really. but i have been mourning her like she was. at the turn of the century when people were immigrating from ireland in droves to america, them that were left behind had a funeral for those that were gone. leaving home to go so far away was as good as dieing in those days. the chance of seeing your loved one again was slight. nowadays we have phones and puters but she's not here. out of sight out of this mortal coil i guess.
any way. i called. we talked. i feel loads better. gonna visit before school starts if all goes well.