Can I die now, PLEASE?
Drinking, I HATE YOU.
I take back every nice thing I ever said about you.
When I woke up this morning, I was still drunk. This is not okay and I am an ass. I hate myself so much today I can't stand it. I need to throw up now. I really needed to throw up on the train this morning, too. I should have called out sick, but I have a rule about that. No calling out sick for hangovers. It is a waste of a sick day. I am going to feel shitty at home, so I might as well do penance for my stupidity and feel shitty at work.
Let's talk about something else that sucks, since a lot of things do suck. The trains at night. First off, New York is most definately NOT "the city that never sleeps." It does sleep, it sleeps more than I do, and that's a lot. New York does not give a fuck about its night crawlers, not that I am one, but I am out late sometimes. The grocery stores close at 9 p.m. What the fuck? Sometimes I have specific food needs after 9 p.m. Lots of businesses are closed Sunday. No one even believes in God anymore, but the businesses are still closed on Sunday. Back to the trains. Why can't they run on a decent schedule at night? Now it is certainly a good thing that I am not tearin' ass all over Brooklyn drunk as hell. Drunk driving is bad. I've logged so many miles drunk it's a true "I believe in God again, let's close the shop and go to church" miracle that nothing bad has ever happened. That and I'm a good drunk driver. Anyway, I never want to drive drunk again. Thanks to New York and it's fabulous subway, I don't have to. The problem is that you have to have the patience of a Saint! First of all I am very impatient and second, saints are dumb, because they believe in God. Why are people so STUPID??
It took me well over 2 hours to get home, thanks to the trains that weren't coming. When I finally got home at 2 a.m., I realized I did not have my keys. You may ask how I, a person who checks to make sure they locked their front door a million times, could leave without their keys. Here is the answer: I left with Jason, who did have his keys. We went to the museum first (the museum, my job, is to blame for my being hungover today in the first place) and cashed in on the free drinks because we are poor. Then Jason went to see a show at the Knitting Factory and I did not go with him. Jason does not invite me to go to shows with him anymore, because I am a stupid, hateful, belligerent, mean drunk. Those are my words, not his. So anyway, I'm locked out of the apartment. I ring other peoples buzzers and luckily a Mexican guy on the first floor is awake and lets me into the building. He even came out to make sure I was just a stupid drunk girl and not a fake firefighter, a fake Jesus, or the real Jesus. So then I go up and sit in the stairwell outside my apartment door. Then I decide to ring the doorbell of my apartment. I don't know why, I think I wanted my cat to come to the door so I could talk to her. Then, by yet another miracle, someone comes to the door. Jason has been at home all along! I am so relieved to be home, inside my apartment, with Jason, that I start crying. A lot. I am so stupid.
So here I am now, I've already eaten my lunch behind the counter. And honestly, in the time it has taken me to write this, I feel slightly better. But not much. Which brings me back to the point of this, drinking sucks. Did you know that a person can actually die from alcohol withdrawal? I wish that would happen right now.
I'm in a really weird mood. The worst part is, that when this hangover finally goes away, I know I am going to want a drink. I need to pray.
I take back every nice thing I ever said about you.
When I woke up this morning, I was still drunk. This is not okay and I am an ass. I hate myself so much today I can't stand it. I need to throw up now. I really needed to throw up on the train this morning, too. I should have called out sick, but I have a rule about that. No calling out sick for hangovers. It is a waste of a sick day. I am going to feel shitty at home, so I might as well do penance for my stupidity and feel shitty at work.
Let's talk about something else that sucks, since a lot of things do suck. The trains at night. First off, New York is most definately NOT "the city that never sleeps." It does sleep, it sleeps more than I do, and that's a lot. New York does not give a fuck about its night crawlers, not that I am one, but I am out late sometimes. The grocery stores close at 9 p.m. What the fuck? Sometimes I have specific food needs after 9 p.m. Lots of businesses are closed Sunday. No one even believes in God anymore, but the businesses are still closed on Sunday. Back to the trains. Why can't they run on a decent schedule at night? Now it is certainly a good thing that I am not tearin' ass all over Brooklyn drunk as hell. Drunk driving is bad. I've logged so many miles drunk it's a true "I believe in God again, let's close the shop and go to church" miracle that nothing bad has ever happened. That and I'm a good drunk driver. Anyway, I never want to drive drunk again. Thanks to New York and it's fabulous subway, I don't have to. The problem is that you have to have the patience of a Saint! First of all I am very impatient and second, saints are dumb, because they believe in God. Why are people so STUPID??
It took me well over 2 hours to get home, thanks to the trains that weren't coming. When I finally got home at 2 a.m., I realized I did not have my keys. You may ask how I, a person who checks to make sure they locked their front door a million times, could leave without their keys. Here is the answer: I left with Jason, who did have his keys. We went to the museum first (the museum, my job, is to blame for my being hungover today in the first place) and cashed in on the free drinks because we are poor. Then Jason went to see a show at the Knitting Factory and I did not go with him. Jason does not invite me to go to shows with him anymore, because I am a stupid, hateful, belligerent, mean drunk. Those are my words, not his. So anyway, I'm locked out of the apartment. I ring other peoples buzzers and luckily a Mexican guy on the first floor is awake and lets me into the building. He even came out to make sure I was just a stupid drunk girl and not a fake firefighter, a fake Jesus, or the real Jesus. So then I go up and sit in the stairwell outside my apartment door. Then I decide to ring the doorbell of my apartment. I don't know why, I think I wanted my cat to come to the door so I could talk to her. Then, by yet another miracle, someone comes to the door. Jason has been at home all along! I am so relieved to be home, inside my apartment, with Jason, that I start crying. A lot. I am so stupid.
So here I am now, I've already eaten my lunch behind the counter. And honestly, in the time it has taken me to write this, I feel slightly better. But not much. Which brings me back to the point of this, drinking sucks. Did you know that a person can actually die from alcohol withdrawal? I wish that would happen right now.
I'm in a really weird mood. The worst part is, that when this hangover finally goes away, I know I am going to want a drink. I need to pray.