goin' bush

Oct 04, 2005 16:47

I've entered a parallel universe where I take naked communal baths after playing soccer all weekend in the mountains of Japan while monkeys cut across the fields. So you know...really just taking this whole "cultural immersion" thing and running with it.

I was sitting at my desk Friday afternoon trying to find a way to get out of playing soccer this weekend because I was seriously dreading this Nagano trip. But somehow I resigned myself to just get on the damn bus, and I'm really glad I did because I ended up having a really great time. Everyone on the team is so supportive and enthusiastic, so thank god for that because otherwise it could have been really miserable for me with a bunch of bitchy girls up in my grill all weekend telling me how much ass I suck as goalie. Saturday was great because we played some easy teams and they did a stellar job of keeping the ball away from my end of the field so I just got to hang out in the goal, which is what I signed on to do really...stand there and be enormous. But going into the matches on Sunday we were ranked first of all the teams, so we were actually paired up with some good competition. So everyone was all amped up at the team meeting before our first game getting excited about how we could actually win the tournament, and I was just sitting there thinking "uh, hey guys let's not forget who you've got as a goal keeper...don't get your hopes up."

And sure enough in the first few minutes of play, I disgraced the team with a botched punt that I booted right into the other team so they scored right away on the rebound. Then in the last minute of the game we were up 2-1, but Tochigi got a penalty shot for reasons unbeknownst to me since I still don't understand the rules completely. So they tried to pull me out and sub another goalie in but the ref wouldn't let us, so it was all on me to save this goal, not having saved a single shot yet. I don't know what the hell happened because I was trying to watch the shooter's eyes to see where she was aiming, and it looked like she was gonna go right. So I was all ready to move right, but she went left so I just dove for it and somehow, miraculously, managed to deflect it. But it didn't get out that far so she went back for the rebound, and I was scrambling to get back up but had to dive for it again and it bounced off my face and went out of bounds. I think I was just so shocked and relieved that I actually saved a goal, and a pretty tough one at that, that I actually started crying. I guess the team was touched by my heartfelt show of emotion, but I just felt like a giant pansy ass. Anyway, I was learning on the fly and started to get the feel for the mechanics of the game and started taking more dives and charging a couple bitches which was pretty fun. We were evenly matched with Hyogo for our second game on Sunday, and it was all tied up at the end so we had to go into penalty shots in overtime. So yeah, pressure all on me, and I actually saved one shot but the other team saved two. So oh well. We came in fourth overall and it actually ended up being kinda fun, so I might keep playing on and off for a while.

Alright, so the naked bathing. Onsen are the natural outdoor hot springs that Japan is so famous for, and sento are like man-made indoor onsen...so basically public bath houses. So visiting an onsen is a huge part of Japanese culture and tradition, and you pretty much have to suck it up and do it at least once while you're here. I guess the protocol varies from place to place, but the standard is that they're single-sex (although some are co-ed) and you get naked and wash your whole body before getting into the bath to soak with a bunch of other naked people. So our hotel in Nagano had a sento and everyone was going after the games were finished on Saturday, and as unprepared as I was for a full weekend of soccer, I was even less ready for a naked bathing orgy with a bunch of strangers. So Che and I left the fields and walked back to the hotel together, trying to psych ourselves up for the naked sento bonanza awaiting us.

Now, I can think of a number of things that shouldn't be said before taking a communal bath, but for obvious reasons "are we going bush?" would have to be at the top of that list. And this is exactly what Che says to me as we took a short cut around the back of the hotel. Evidently, "going bush" is crazy Australian speak for "cutting through the hedges", but with naked bathing looming on the horizon you can imagine my reaction. Anyway, so we grab our towels and head on down to the sento, and as soon as we pull back the curtains and see a dimly lit room full of steam and naked ladies I almost booked it right on outta there. But Che and I both were like "fuck, let's just get this over with". So I stripped down and went straight for the showers trying not to make eye contact with anyone in there, but Emi, the one Japanese girl on the team, was already in the bath and waved at us when we came in. And what the fuck do you do in that situation?! Wave back? Ignore her? Shit...so I kind of gave a feeble wave still looking at the ceiling and booked it to the showers. Like everything in Japan, the showers are low to the ground and you're supposed to sit on like a foot stool as you wash yourself, but I had blinders on as I made my bee-line to the shower so I didn't see the stools stacked against the wall in the corner. So I'm squatting under the shower trying to make myself invisible but the shower wall was a full length mirror from floor to ceiling. Halfway through washing my hair I notice the stools in the corner and see that everyone else in there is using one so I must look like an idiot, so I quickly finish washing before my legs which were already sore from soccer give out on me and I collapse in a heap on the shower floor. So I got in the bath and kind of curled up in a ball in the corner still stressing out because people that were at the showers before me were still washing and I'd just darted in and out in about a minute. Then we're all in the bath, making awkward conversation, and it really would have been quite relaxing if I wasn't so tense and stressed out. But it was definitely an experience to say the least, and let it just be known that, uh, "grooming" standards vary from culture to culture and it's probably best if I don't elaborate.
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