(no subject)
OK. So. I've clearly been angsty and moping.
I am NOT happy.
I've been very hurt by someone that doesn't seem to mind.
I am lonely, and missing a lot of people.
Things are off with the few people that I do have around, and I may have lost one of my closest friends for good.
And until today, I wasn't even really excited about the arrival of my housemates. But then today I called some of them (to ask about food allergies, guess what, NONE!!!! just two vegetarians. Thank the lord no food drama this year)... and hearing their excited voices, I realized. These are REAL people. Not just applications to read. People that sound fun and interesting. People to eat ice cream with, and fly kites with, and save the environment with, and yes, deal with when they start to argue with each other. I know that I can't look at them as just new friends, because I do have to supervise them and I am determined not to cross the line that I feel like was crossed a little by my supervisor, as much as I adore her. But I think this might be exactly what I need right now. Because it's not just a distraction, it's the MOTHER of all distractions. And I know the minute they start to arrive, I'm just going to get a huge smile on my face. Thirteen new people to play with! Who could ask for more?
So maybe I'm not happy, but I'm ... what's the right adjective? hopeful? excited? refocused? positive? I don't know, but I think it's good.
I am NOT happy.
I've been very hurt by someone that doesn't seem to mind.
I am lonely, and missing a lot of people.
Things are off with the few people that I do have around, and I may have lost one of my closest friends for good.
And until today, I wasn't even really excited about the arrival of my housemates. But then today I called some of them (to ask about food allergies, guess what, NONE!!!! just two vegetarians. Thank the lord no food drama this year)... and hearing their excited voices, I realized. These are REAL people. Not just applications to read. People that sound fun and interesting. People to eat ice cream with, and fly kites with, and save the environment with, and yes, deal with when they start to argue with each other. I know that I can't look at them as just new friends, because I do have to supervise them and I am determined not to cross the line that I feel like was crossed a little by my supervisor, as much as I adore her. But I think this might be exactly what I need right now. Because it's not just a distraction, it's the MOTHER of all distractions. And I know the minute they start to arrive, I'm just going to get a huge smile on my face. Thirteen new people to play with! Who could ask for more?
So maybe I'm not happy, but I'm ... what's the right adjective? hopeful? excited? refocused? positive? I don't know, but I think it's good.