Fated Chapter 10
Title Fated
Author: deadoralive0013
Pairing: Ryden
Rating: PG13
POV: 3rd
Summary: Ryan has a gift. He's able to see the future only, he couldn't control when. As he worked as a fortune teller, he made up lies to tell people, not really expecting to get a real vision. But one night, he met an annoying young businessman and Ryan's world will never be the same again. Not even the one who saw can fight fate itself.
Excerpt for this chapter:
“Brendon”
He stiffened. “Yeah?”
“Nothing happened.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen. It didn’t happen.”
Warnings: un-everything, swearing, slash, confusion, angst-ing
Beta: Chai phoenix_vixen
Disclaimer: I own the plot but nothing else...
Note: At the end of the chapter
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10
“What are you doing here, Ryan?” Mrs. Urie asked and Ryan jumped a little.
He was standing by the living room window with the lights off and watching her garden through the glass although the lamp post outside did only so little to bring out the true colors of any of the flowers.
“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said, smiling sheepishly at her.
“I think I’m the one who scared you, so no worries. I was just surprised to find you here. I didn’t know that you love my garden so much to be literally watching it in this hour,” she said with a smile. “You didn’t seem like you were that interested when I first showed you that garden.”
Ryan smiled. “I’m not into gardening but your flowers are really something to look at.”
It was dark outside and he couldn’t really see a thing in her garden but they both know he was just saying that.
“Thank you,” she said nonetheless. “But you really ought to be upstairs by now and sleeping, unless you’re hungry. I can fix you something if you want.”
“Oh, no, I’m fine,” he said hurriedly. “I’m just... I can’t sleep.”
“How long have you been spying on my garden? It’s almost midnight.”
Almost two hours, he said mentally. Ryan didn’t know what to do as he was tired but he couldn’t really go upstairs to the bedroom because then he would have to deal with Brendon so he ended up wandering around the house and finally settled by the window to pass the time. If he was going up in that room again, he was going to make sure that Brendon was already asleep.
“Not very long,” he lied.
“Is there something bothering you? I know we just met but you can tell this old lady anything,” she offered sincerely.
“Nothing,” Ryan said quickly, vaguely thinking of how awkward and bizarre it would be if he told her the truth. “I just have... trouble sleeping sometimes. This happens.”
“Okay,” she said, clearly reading through his lies. “But if you ever change your mind, you can always talk to me, honey.”
“Thank you for everything. You’ve been really nice to me since we arrived,” Ryan told her with a smile.
She joined Ryan by the window, adjusting the shawl around her shoulders. “I can tell that you are a friend of Brendon. This house is open to all of my son’s friends.”
“We’re not... Thank you,” Ryan said.
“But I won’t deny the fact that you are a very handsome young man so that may have added some points,” she added.
Ryan laughed lightly, giving her a side glance and then letting his gaze stray outside the window again. Why did he even agree to come here? His vision should have been enough to make him stay in New York. In fact, guarding Sam should be the only thing in his mind. Yet here he was, staying in Brendon’s family’s house and sharing a room with him. He had decided that he didn’t want anything to happen between them! Coming here was the stupidest thing he had done in years.
She sighed tiredly and gazed out the window. “That son of mine is the sweetest, most loving of all my children. I’m surprised that he hasn’t got anyone yet.”
“He’s still young. He’ll find someone so you don’t need to worry,” Ryan told her.
“I know,” she said. “It’s just... my son is lonely. He always acts like he is not and he never told me but I just know. As a mother, it hurts me to see him like that, putting all of his time in that job of his. I wish he’d stop and take a moment to look for a girl.”
“Believe me, he’s looking,” Ryan muttered.
“Well I hope so,” she said. “I just want to see him happy. I want him to find someone he could spend the rest of his life with before I go. He deserves it.”
Ryan stared at her and she laughed lightly. “I’m getting old. It’s going to happen soon enough.”
“I’m sure you’ll live a very long, happy life and see that day come,” Ryan told her.
“You’re a sweet young man,” she said and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “But it’s getting late. Go to bed now.”
“Okay,” Ryan answered uncertainly.
She walked him to the stairs and together they climbed, Ryan being the gentleman and helping her up even though she didn’t need it. Her room was to the right so she waited for Ryan to reach Brendon’s bedroom door. Ryan slowly opened the door and peeked inside, only to find the room in complete darkness. He looked back. Brendon’s mother was still there waiting for him to enter so he reluctantly stepped inside; desperately wishing that Brendon was already asleep. He crept to the airbed carefully and as he passed by the bed, he could vaguely make out Brendon’s unmoving form. Ryan sighed in relief before lying on his own bed.
He had barely rested his had on the pillow when suddenly, Brendon’s bed creaked. Ryan watched as Brendon slowly sat up and inched to the edge of his bed where Ryan was.
“Hey,” he muttered.
Ryan was torn between answering ‘hey’ back and pretending to be asleep even though he had just entered and cannot be asleep already. He paused, thinking of what to do and he heard the other sigh again.
“If you want to pretend to be asleep, fine. Go ahead,” Brendon announced in the darkness sounding as though he was trying his best to sound confident and failing miserably. He cleared his throat. “Anyway... I... Earlier we... uh... What I’m trying to say is...”
Sweat built up on his forehead and still he couldn’t find the right words to begin. Because really, where the hell should he start? The couple of hours he had been lying awake in the room, thinking of something to tell Ryan, hadn’t given him any good ideas and only made him realize the gravity of the stupidity of his actions because he couldn’t even find the slightest valid reason to justify his earlier behavior. Was there even one?
“So uh,” Brendon continued to stutter. Ryan was unmoving on the airbed but Brendon had nasty feeling that the other was actually watching him which didn’t help at all.
And in fact, he was. Ryan was watching him from the darkness, waiting for something to be said.
Brendon scratched the back of his neck, feeling like an idiot. His mind had formulated the thought ‘I wanted to kiss you even though you’re a guy and I’m a guy, and it would be totally abnormal and perverted for us to go all porn like that but I don’t regret it at all. I still want to do it now despite it being highly improper, so can I?’ Now the issue of phrasing and filtering of what should be uttered... Fuck it.
“Forget it,” Brendon muttered quickly before burying his face on his pillow.
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When Ryan woke up the next morning, Brendon wasn’t in the room. He was grateful and took the chance to go to the bathroom. As he washed his face, he pushed the memories of last night’s events back and hastily went out. It wasn’t long before Julie was calling him for breakfast and Ryan found himself seated beside Brendon on the dining table and munching on pancakes.
Brendon refused to meet his eyes or to talk to him which Ryan was perfectly okay with. He too avoided Brendon’s eyes and ate in silence while the other engaged his mother and Julie in a lively conversation about his work.
“You are eating too fast,” Julie suddenly told Brendon.
Brendon paused with a forkful of pancake in midair. “Excuse me?”
“Slow down. You’re making me feel sick,” Julie said wrinkling her nose at her brother.
“I’m not eating fast,” he told her indignantly, casting Ryan a quick side glance.
“Your sister is right,” his mother joined in. “Is something the matter?” she added with slightly worried tone and gave Ryan questioning look.
“Nothing,” Brendon answered quickly. “Why should there?”
“You eat fast when you’re nervous,” Julie said.
Brendon visibly stiffened while Ryan quietly choked on his coffee. He kept his eyes glued to the table, feeling Brendon’s eyes stealing glances at him.
“I...uh, left a few, uh, papers at work. I’m just thinking about those,” Brendon said finally. “I told you I’m kind of busy, right? I’m just thinking of those unfinished proposals. That’s all.”
“You are working too much,” his mother said. “You should extend your stay here and help me with my garden.”
“I can’t. The company needs me,” he told her.
Ryan kept his eyes on the table and quietly continued eating breakfast. As he was drinking his coffee, he caught sight of Julie stirring her own steaming cup but her eyes weren’t on the dark liquid. She was keenly watching her older brother with an expression that told Ryan she wasn’t buying his excuse. Julie’s gaze suddenly shifted and she caught Ryan watching her. Ryan gave her a quick smile and looked away.
“Then repair the fencing of my garden later,” she said, ignoring Brendon before she turned to Ryan. “Help him, will you?”
Ryan blinked.
“The pesky German Shepherd of the neighbor escaped sometime last week and trespassed my yard. Destroyed my fence and vines,” she said, looking like the memory of the incident still irritated her.
“O-Of course,” Ryan stuttered.
“You know where the tools are,” Julie told Brendon, still with that skeptic and knowing air.
After that, Ryan tried to stuff as much food as possible in his system in an attempt to delay the inevitable. It was stupid, he knew, but the thought of having to just face Brendon alone again after what happened was eating up his nerves. Nevertheless, the table ran out of food and the plates were empty. He started to gather the plates but Julie stopped him.
“Leave it,” Julie said. Brendon was already in the process of leaving the table and Julie gestured at him. “Just go help my brother with the fencing.”
Ryan had to get up and follow Brendon as the other announced to no one in general, “I’ll get the tools.”
Ryan followed him uncertainly as Julie shooed him away from the dining table and found himself walking to the backdoor. Brendon opened it, not looking back at him to see if Ryan’s following but keeping his pace slow so he, assumingly, can keep up. The backyard was mostly covered by grass, Ryan noticed as he continued to follow Brendon. There were plants too here and there but Brendon’s mom made sure that her best ones were on the front yard to be shown off.
At the end corner of the yard was a small wooden shed which Brendon opened. Ryan quietly entered after him. There was a little light bulb inside which Brendon clicked before he was rummaging on several shelves with his back at Ryan.
“Fuck, where did they put the hammer again?” he muttered to himself.
Ryan stood behind him, unsure of what to do and just watching the other look for the accursed hammer. He sighed. Neither of them was saying anything but both of them were acting like nothing happened. It was very awkward and Ryan who was normally a quiet and reserved person was itching to break the ice. He was there, so he might as well help than look stupid. He started to make his way beside Brendon and wordlessly dug into the piles of rusting paint cans and tool boxes.
Brendon stiffened when he saw Ryan joining him but he kept his eyes on the shelf. He was too conscious of the little space between them and somehow, the shed was hotter than Brendon remembered.
He pushed several dusty boxes out of the way and shifted others to the floor. Brendon hated this shed for this precise reason, being so unused. When he was living here, it was only him and his brothers that used this shed to repair little things.
And there it was. At the lowest shelf, a wooden handle was sticking out mixed with a few scraps of wood. He sighed in relief before ducking down to retrieve the hammer, only, Ryan had decided to lean down exactly at same time and their heads collided. Classic.
“I’m sorry,” Brendon muttered automatically as he rubbed his forehead and stepped back. Head bumps seemed a lot more romantic and less painful in the movies. Wait, romantic? What the...
“It’s fine. Yeah, sorry,” Ryan mumbled in return, also rubbing his forehead.
Brendon swooped down again and snatched the hammer. “Got it,” he announced before stepping out of the shed in quick strides and muttering things under his breath that Ryan didn’t catch.
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“His name is Demon.”
Ryan frowned slightly, holding two pieces of wood together that were a part of the fence while Brendon hammered a nail through them. “Who?”
“Demon, the german shepherd that destroyed this fencing,” Brendon said and gave the nail another pound.
The nail went straight through the first and the second wood, binding them together. Brendon wiped his brow with his arm and smiled a bit. It was a small progress considering that Demon almost destroyed the entire one fourth of the fence that led to the side of the house but it was a progress nonetheless. They didn’t see it immediately and Brendon’s mom needed to show them the damage because it was partly hidden by the bushes but it was quite a big one. They will need to spend the entire afternoon under the sun if they wanted to fix it before they left.
“What the hell was Demon doing in this fence to cause this much damage anyway?” Ryan asked as he aligned another pair of wood for Brendon. He could already feel sweat running down his back.
“Beats me,” Brendon answered. They were talking but no one had dared to make eye-contact yet.
Ryan sighed and handed Brendon another nail which the other positioned on the wood again. The heat was starting to get to him and he wiped the side of his face.
“But he used to be a little darling,” Brendon added quietly.
“Demon?” Ryan asked a little surprised.
“Yeah,” he answered with a nod. “When I was younger, around sixteen or seventeen, I used to hang out with Demon. He was just a little puppy back then and his owner would let me see him because I wanted to have a dog around that time but couldn’t get one.”
“Why can’t you get a dog?”
Brendon paused thoughtfully before carrying on with his hammer. “Mom said I’m too busy with school and I’m about to go to college anyway so I can’t really take care of a pet.”
“You should have gotten a fish,” Ryan told him.
“That’s boring,” Brendon commented with a smile so bright, Ryan thought it rivaled the afternoon sun itself.
“But at least you’ll get to achieve two objectives with one simple act,” Ryan argued. “One, you’ll get a pet and two, you won’t kill a pet.”
Brendon laughed. “Where’s the fun in that? That’s too safe and besides, it defeats the purpose of actually getting a pet.”
“Which is?” Ryan probed.
“To take care and spend time with,” he answered. “You wouldn’t want to get a pet just for the sake of a getting a pet, right? The point is to feed it and play with it and-”
“Clean the poop,” Ryan added.
“Clean the poop,” Brendon agreed, “and do all those other things too. That’s what’s having pet is.”
“I disagree,” Ryan said. “I think that you can have a pet and not put yourself through such... misery. If you don’t toil bathing or walking your pet, it doesn’t mean that you’re not taking care of it.”
“But it will really require some work one way or another,” Brendon argued. “And the bottom line will be whether you’d be willing to do it for the sake of your pet and overlook the hard work of cleaning up poop.”
Ryan laughed. “I can’t believe we’re having a discussion about this.”
“Fun, isn’t it?” Brendon asked and he really was enjoying himself. Not many people could sustain such a boring topic with him while making the conversation easy and pleasant. Ryan was just so easy to talk to, so smart and was speaking the same language as him. Brendon felt he could almost tell him anything.
“I’ll get the rest of the fence,” Ryan said, returning the smile and walked over to the said fence, picking up the dismantled pieces of wood and gathering them in his arms.
Brendon watched Ryan’s back from where he was nailing the rest of the fence. Ryan had a small wet patch of sweat on the back of his shirt and the sandy locks near his nape and in front of his ears were wet. Brendon vaguely thought of how little Ryan had sweat compared to him who, without a doubt, had his shirt almost completely soaked with sweat by now. He touched the back of his shirt and indeed, it was wet. Soaked.
“Here,” Ryan said when he walked back to where Brendon was, wood pieces in his thin arms. He dropped them beside Brendon and sat in front of him.
Brendon couldn’t help but get a whiff of Ryan’s scent. The other was sweating just like him and didn’t smell like perfume at all but it wasn’t a bad odor either. It was distinct but it was also obvious that there was sweat in it. Brendon remembered Ryan’s tiny apartment in New York. It smelled like this, like Ryan.
“You seem pretty handy with that,” Ryan commented suddenly and Brendon was pulled out of his musings.
He smirked at him and gave the nail an expertly delivered pound with the hammer that buried it deep into the wood. “I helped make the shed itself when I was thirteen.”
Ryan snorted. “How come?”
“Because I’m a boy? It’s natural for boys to learn this kind of things,” Brendon explained. “But I guess not for everyone.”
Ryan let the comment slide. “Did... Who taught you?”
Brendon paused and for a moment, Ryan thought he got him angry. The other just shrugged though, putting the hammer down and wiping his brow with his shirt. “When you told me that I should just ask what happened to you after you disappeared, you were asking me to not treat you like a fragile broken thing. I’m asking you the same thing.”
Ryan was slightly taken aback but he nodded anyway. “I just thought it would be a touchy subject.”
“You can ask.”
“Okay,” Ryan said. “So where’s your father?”
“That’s more I like it,” Brendon told him and Ryan involuntarily grinned. Brendon picked the hammer again and went back to nailing the fence back together. “I barely remember him. My oldest brother, Jimmy, would be able to tell you more about him because I was just three when he died.”
“I’m sorry,” Ryan said automatically which made him want to slap his own head. He hated it when people say sorry for things they didn’t do.
Brendon however, just nodded. “It’s okay. I really don’t know him so I guess I can’t say I miss him. My mother was just worried that her children would grow up to be scums of society because they have to grow up without a father. We turned out okay though.”
“Must be hard for her,” Ryan said.
“It was hardest for her,” Brendon agreed. “But she’s tough. She raised us all well and our family can’t really get any happier.”
“Except for you marrying and having kids,” Ryan said without thinking.
They both paused. Ryan gazed at the other uncertainly. He wasn’t really sure about why he should be embarrassed about what he said. He just felt like it was inappropriate and apparently, Brendon thought so too.
“Yeah,” Brendon said after a few moments. “She’d like that.”
He stared at Ryan despite the other avoiding his gaze. It was ridiculous to be acting like this.
“Last night,” Brendon found himself saying and he didn’t miss the sudden hitch in Ryan’s breath.
“Now look at that.”
Ryan and Brendon turned to see Brendon’s mother carrying a tray with a pitcher and two glasses balanced on top. She smiled at them and carefully set the tray on the garden table before pouring them iced drinks on each glass. “My boys are working so hard.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Urie,” Ryan muttered and got up.
“Have some juice,” she told them. “It’s so nice to finally have men in this house.
Ryan immediately took his glass from the tray and Brendon stiffly followed suit. They drank their juice while she inspected the progress of their work. Brendon wiped his arm on his forehead again and forced a smile at his mom.
“I invited Grace to have dinner with us-” she began.
“Mom!” Brendon interrupted her.
“But she said she’s going to visit her grandmother,” she finished. “Honestly Bren, she’s such a sweet girl. I don’t get why you hate her.”
“I don’t hate her,” Brendon told her. “I just don’t like her.”
“Why not?” she asked stubbornly. “She’s pretty, sweet, kind”
Brendon scratched the back of his neck in frustration. “She’s great, alright. But I don’t feel anything for her. I know it may sound crazy that I’m not madly in love with her despite her being sweet and pretty but really mom, it doesn’t work that way. It never will.”
“All I’m asking is that you give her a chance,” she said and Ryan was beginning to think he shouldn’t be hearing this conversation.
“I don’t want her to have false hopes,” Brendon said. “I’m making it clear that she can’t expect anything from me because I don’t want her to get hurt. Please do the same for her sake.”
She sighed. “Fine. I won’t force you to like her now but keep your options open.”
With that, she turned to her heels and went back inside the house.
“We will never understand each other,” Brendon said and sighed.
“She only means well, I’m sure,” Ryan told him.
Brendon placed his glass down and grabbed the hammer again. “Yeah, yeah.”
They continued working on the fence in silence this time. Brendon didn’t bring up any topics anymore and Ryan followed his lead, focusing on the repairing the fence and not saying a word.
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That night, Ryan entered the room he was sharing to find Brendon with his laptop out on the bed along with a small pile of papers. He was already in his loose white shirt and shorts with the laptop on front of him. His eyes squinted at the screen, furiously typing away in full concentration that he didn’t notice it when Ryan walked in.
“You wear glasses?” Ryan asked automatically as he closed the door.
Brendon looked up at him, his eyes tired but very much awake behind the lenses of his red frames. “I also have this in black.”
Ryan was just thinking about how informal the glasses would look if Brendon wore it with his office suit but the other seemed to have read his mind. It was tiring to have gone on like the way they did, avoiding each other’s gaze and not saying anything when not necessary. It was only then that it dawned on Ryan how much he had became so used to talking to Brendon.
“Okay,” Ryan said simply and continued to make his way to his bed.
He had a towel around his shoulders and was rubbing his head dry. He watched Brendon work quietly with slight fascination as the other scan the papers and type things with a serious expression while he pretended to be busy with his hair. It was the first time that Ryan saw him like this, busy and wearing a serious look with those dorky glasses.
“I’m going to sleep,” Ryan told him after some time, not really expecting a response.
“Wait,” Brendon said, shifting on his bed and pushing the laptop away. “Can we talk?”
Oh boy. Ryan didn’t want to talk. Why couldn’t they just act like nothing happened? He didn’t reply and continued drying his hair.
“We’re adults, Ryan. We can talk about it,” Brendon said firmly, once again as if reading his mind.
“About what?” Ryan asked but he didn’t remove the towel from his face. His hair was almost dry but he kept on rubbing the towel anyway.
Brendon sighed. “You know what.”
Ryan let one of his eyes peek through the towel and he saw the other staring at him through those glasses of his. Slowly and reluctantly, he lowered the towel and let it fall around his shoulders.
“Look, I... It was my fault-” Brendon began.
“You don’t need to explain,” Ryan cut him off.
Brendon stared at him with a confused expression on his face. Ryan smiled at him.
“It’s fine. I don’t care what the hell happened to you at that moment. Let’s forget about it. I’ll act like that it didn’t happen at all,” Ryan told him.
Instead of looking relieved as Ryan had hoped, Brendon’s gaze hardened. He looked angry.
“What?” Ryan asked.
“So you’re just... going to brush it aside?” Brendon deadpanned.
“What do you want me to do?” Ryan asked, his voice rising in tone. “Get mad because you tried to kiss me? Hit you for what you did or something?”
Brendon looked away and slowly took his red glasses off. He sighed again, looking like he was lost despite knowing exactly what he wanted to say. “You don’t care why.”
It was more like a statement than a question. Ryan stared at his toes and replaced the towel on his head to avoid having to look at Brendon. He knew it was a stupid gesture but he did it nonetheless because he really didn’t want to deal with what’s happening, one of those moments that he wished he could just disappear.
“It’s not that I don’t care,” Ryan said slowly with his face directed to his toe and hidden from view.
Brendon looked up at him, waiting for Ryan to continue which the other did.
“But what good would it do? We’re just fine the way we were... and we can go back to that. We don’t have to make things worse.”
Somehow, Brendon felt angry at what he said yet a part of him knew he understood. Ryan did make sense. If they were to forget that moment of stupidity of his, everything would go back to normal. Still, he didn’t fee like he wanted it that way. Why?
Ryan heard the bed creak under Brendon’s weight and after a few moments, the towel on his head was being lifted gently and Brendon was in front of him. He didn’t dare move, just clutched tightly on his leg as Brendon reluctantly ran his fingers through his slightly wet hair before settling beside him. Their knees touch and the small contact burned his skin.
“I wish... I knew what to say anyway,” Brendon said softly. “This isn’t how I imagined things to turn out.”
Ryan looked up, thinking of something to say and failing. His eyes were focused on the full lips of Brendon which was very near. He wanted to move away but instead, he shifted closer. Brendon didn’t look like he noticed for he was busy staring at Ryan’s face, his eyes, nose, cheeks... lips.
“And can you please,” Brendon said as he gently placed his fingers below Ryan’s chin before lifting it up to meet the other’s gaze, “stop being a fucking wuss?”
Ryan swallowed. He could see every tiny detail on Brendon’s face as the other moved forward towards him. He didn’t know when he had stopped breathing but he did and he fisted the sheets beneath them as they got closer and closer. Their noses were touching now but Brendon stopped before their lips met. They were looking right into each other’s eyes, hovering, exchanging warm breaths against each other’s faces.
“You’re not stopping me this time?” Brendon breathed softly and their lips almost touched.
“You’d call me a wuss if I did,” Ryan answered.
With that, Brendon closed the gap. Their lips merely pressed against each other and Brendon struggled a little to maintain his balance. He was slightly leaning forward to keep their lips connected but he was also pulling back slightly so he wouldn’t stumble and fall on Ryan. It was a bit awkward position but he ignored it, concentrating instead on the feeling of Ryan’s lips against his. It was warm and soft. He needed more.
Before anything else happened, Ryan was pulling back and Brendon almost did stumble on him. Ryan looked breathless and dazed, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe what had just happened.
“Wuss,” Brendon called him with a slight glare.
“You didn’t do anything either,” Ryan said defensively.
Brendon suddenly grabbed the neck of Ryan’s old shirt and pulled him in before the other could react. The wet towel fell off his shoulders.
“Then let’s do it right.”
“You want to kiss a guy for a second time?” Ryan asked, both his hands on Brendon’s shoulders for support.
“I’ll take your advice and throw it back to you. Let’s not talk about it,” Brendon said before swiftly tugging Ryan forward and catching his lips with his.
They started slow with Brendon assuming the more active role as he gradually made his movements bigger, more aggressive and owning. Ryan just sat there with his eyes closed as Brendon tentatively began lightly nipping on his lower lip, angling his head so he could move closer and putting a hand behind Ryan’s neck.
He had been thinking about this since the other night and now it was happening. He knew it was weird to be feeling the kind of attraction he was feeling towards Ryan but now that he had Ryan’s lips pressed against his, feeling every tiny intimate movement, he thought he understood. It wasn’t just the way Ryan could just get into his mind or the way he looked, how pretty his face was or how androgynous he looked like.
There was something that was drawing him in like a magnet that was too strong to fight, because hell, Brendon did fight. Everytime he met up with Ryan and see him, he wanted to stay longer. It made him do things that he wouldn’t normally do to people he just met but Ryan somehow had that kind of effect on him, making lose his self-control, his reason, any inhibitions that he had.
A distinct movement from Ryan’s bottom lip stirred warm pools in Brendon stomach. He used the hand on Ryan’s nape to pull the other closer and was delighted to feel that Ryan was actually kissing back, matching his movements with slowly gaining confidence. He felt the hand on his chest move lower, slowly and sensually. He copied the gesture and let his hand travel down from Ryan’s nape until he was holding his hip.
Ryan was breathing heavily, gasping hard every time they part for a moment before resuming. It was the only time for him to take in air as Brendon seemed to have suddenly developed a liking for hearing him squirm while they kiss and was now forcefully moving forward. The way Brendon was kissing him was driving him insane, so wanted. He forgot why he kept fighting against this happening in the first place. It was a stupid idea now.
Soon he lost his balance and Brendon landed on top of him, the poor airbed squeaking under their weight. They were forced to break the kiss but Brendon stayed there, supporting himself with his arms at either side of Ryan’s head.
They just stared at each other’s eyes, hazy with lust, and panting. No one dared to say anything. Ryan’s eyes flickered down at the other’s lips involuntarily and he immediately flushed. Brendon grinned lightly, happy at how things were going, and adjusted his legs so that he was straddling Ryan’s torso. He licked his lips with anticipation as he lowered his head again, seeing Ryan look back at him with equal need. They haven’t even tried with tongue yet.
Suddenly, there were footsteps behind the door and without thinking, they scrambled out of bed in panic. Barely two seconds after Brendon had detached himself from Ryan, the door opened and in came Julie’s head. Brendon almost tripped on his own leg.
“I just got home and I brought a cake,” she told them.
Ryan casually fixed his hair and smiled back at her. “Brendon was just talking about... how he was craving for one. Great timing.”
“Yeah,” Brendon said and slowly smoothed out his shirt. “But I’m tired. Save some for me?”
“Sure,” Julie said with a smile. “I’ll spare some slices for you both.”
“Thanks,” Ryan muttered.
“No problem. Mom said you two worked very hard on her fence,” she told him and closed the door.
There were footsteps on the hallway and they released relieved sighs at the same time. They met each other’s gaze and they laughed loudly. Ryan thought it was strange that just seconds ago, they were exchanging saliva and now they were laughing like nothing happened. After a few moments they stopped, staring off at different parts of the room.
“That was weird,” Ryan told no one in particular.
“I feel like we’re doing something illegal, like watching porn or something, but not quite because I’m twenty-five and you’re twenty-three and we could if we want to... but not because, you know, we want to or anything...” Brendon rambled.
There was silence in the room after Brendon lost his unorganized train of thought and it stretched for several moments. They weren’t saying anything but they both knew that the other was thinking of the same thing.
Brendon was tired of the silence and awkwardness but he guess it couldn’t be helped. There was a strong urge in him now, he wanted to come over to Ryan, just crawl over back to his side although he wasn’t sure of what he wanted to do. Talk to him? Say sorry? Pin him back down... Maybe he just wanted to be close.
But for the second time, Ryan seemed to have made the decision for him as he fell back on the airbed, back facing Brendon. He was motionless and quiet, not saying anything or do anything to acknowledge what had just happened. So he lied down too. His gaze landed on Ryan’s back and for some reason, he felt like he shouldn’t be looking at the other. He turned to his side and faced the wall instead.
“Brendon”
He stiffened. “Yeah?”
“Nothing happened.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen. It didn’t happen.”
“It’s fine. I don’t care what the hell happened to you at that moment. Let’s forget about it. I’ll act like that it didn’t happen at all.”
“Whatever,” he muttered and threw the blanket over his head. It was getting complicated.
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Her eyes were wide in horror and it took some time for her realize that she was halfway up a step on the stairs. Samantha was climbing up to her room when the familiar coldness took over her and everything blacked out. She tightly gripped the railing before she completely lost all of her sensation as Ryan had taught her after that one incident that she almost broke her skull open.
She was catching her breath, clutching her chest as she slowly let go of the railing and found herself sitting on the step, unable to move. She could remember everything. So clear and vivid, it almost felt real. The men, the guns, the knife, the ropes, the blood.
Ryan.
“Ryan,” she muttered unconsciously. She needed him now.
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NOTES:
Wuzzah!!! I rise from the dead (briefly) to deliver chapter 10. The interaction between Ryan and Brendon is getting complex... I hope I didn’t confuse anyone out there. I think I'm developing a sort of... avoidance of naming some of my characters (Brendon's dad in JG and then his mom here) but what matters is that you understand. hehe...
Anyway, thank so much for waiting! Your comments keep me writing so I appreciate all of them. ^___^ Hope you enjoy.
Un-everything.
Author: deadoralive0013
Pairing: Ryden
Rating: PG13
POV: 3rd
Summary: Ryan has a gift. He's able to see the future only, he couldn't control when. As he worked as a fortune teller, he made up lies to tell people, not really expecting to get a real vision. But one night, he met an annoying young businessman and Ryan's world will never be the same again. Not even the one who saw can fight fate itself.
Excerpt for this chapter:
“Brendon”
He stiffened. “Yeah?”
“Nothing happened.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen. It didn’t happen.”
Warnings: un-everything, swearing, slash, confusion, angst-ing
Beta: Chai phoenix_vixen
Disclaimer: I own the plot but nothing else...
Note: At the end of the chapter
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10
“What are you doing here, Ryan?” Mrs. Urie asked and Ryan jumped a little.
He was standing by the living room window with the lights off and watching her garden through the glass although the lamp post outside did only so little to bring out the true colors of any of the flowers.
“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said, smiling sheepishly at her.
“I think I’m the one who scared you, so no worries. I was just surprised to find you here. I didn’t know that you love my garden so much to be literally watching it in this hour,” she said with a smile. “You didn’t seem like you were that interested when I first showed you that garden.”
Ryan smiled. “I’m not into gardening but your flowers are really something to look at.”
It was dark outside and he couldn’t really see a thing in her garden but they both know he was just saying that.
“Thank you,” she said nonetheless. “But you really ought to be upstairs by now and sleeping, unless you’re hungry. I can fix you something if you want.”
“Oh, no, I’m fine,” he said hurriedly. “I’m just... I can’t sleep.”
“How long have you been spying on my garden? It’s almost midnight.”
Almost two hours, he said mentally. Ryan didn’t know what to do as he was tired but he couldn’t really go upstairs to the bedroom because then he would have to deal with Brendon so he ended up wandering around the house and finally settled by the window to pass the time. If he was going up in that room again, he was going to make sure that Brendon was already asleep.
“Not very long,” he lied.
“Is there something bothering you? I know we just met but you can tell this old lady anything,” she offered sincerely.
“Nothing,” Ryan said quickly, vaguely thinking of how awkward and bizarre it would be if he told her the truth. “I just have... trouble sleeping sometimes. This happens.”
“Okay,” she said, clearly reading through his lies. “But if you ever change your mind, you can always talk to me, honey.”
“Thank you for everything. You’ve been really nice to me since we arrived,” Ryan told her with a smile.
She joined Ryan by the window, adjusting the shawl around her shoulders. “I can tell that you are a friend of Brendon. This house is open to all of my son’s friends.”
“We’re not... Thank you,” Ryan said.
“But I won’t deny the fact that you are a very handsome young man so that may have added some points,” she added.
Ryan laughed lightly, giving her a side glance and then letting his gaze stray outside the window again. Why did he even agree to come here? His vision should have been enough to make him stay in New York. In fact, guarding Sam should be the only thing in his mind. Yet here he was, staying in Brendon’s family’s house and sharing a room with him. He had decided that he didn’t want anything to happen between them! Coming here was the stupidest thing he had done in years.
She sighed tiredly and gazed out the window. “That son of mine is the sweetest, most loving of all my children. I’m surprised that he hasn’t got anyone yet.”
“He’s still young. He’ll find someone so you don’t need to worry,” Ryan told her.
“I know,” she said. “It’s just... my son is lonely. He always acts like he is not and he never told me but I just know. As a mother, it hurts me to see him like that, putting all of his time in that job of his. I wish he’d stop and take a moment to look for a girl.”
“Believe me, he’s looking,” Ryan muttered.
“Well I hope so,” she said. “I just want to see him happy. I want him to find someone he could spend the rest of his life with before I go. He deserves it.”
Ryan stared at her and she laughed lightly. “I’m getting old. It’s going to happen soon enough.”
“I’m sure you’ll live a very long, happy life and see that day come,” Ryan told her.
“You’re a sweet young man,” she said and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “But it’s getting late. Go to bed now.”
“Okay,” Ryan answered uncertainly.
She walked him to the stairs and together they climbed, Ryan being the gentleman and helping her up even though she didn’t need it. Her room was to the right so she waited for Ryan to reach Brendon’s bedroom door. Ryan slowly opened the door and peeked inside, only to find the room in complete darkness. He looked back. Brendon’s mother was still there waiting for him to enter so he reluctantly stepped inside; desperately wishing that Brendon was already asleep. He crept to the airbed carefully and as he passed by the bed, he could vaguely make out Brendon’s unmoving form. Ryan sighed in relief before lying on his own bed.
He had barely rested his had on the pillow when suddenly, Brendon’s bed creaked. Ryan watched as Brendon slowly sat up and inched to the edge of his bed where Ryan was.
“Hey,” he muttered.
Ryan was torn between answering ‘hey’ back and pretending to be asleep even though he had just entered and cannot be asleep already. He paused, thinking of what to do and he heard the other sigh again.
“If you want to pretend to be asleep, fine. Go ahead,” Brendon announced in the darkness sounding as though he was trying his best to sound confident and failing miserably. He cleared his throat. “Anyway... I... Earlier we... uh... What I’m trying to say is...”
Sweat built up on his forehead and still he couldn’t find the right words to begin. Because really, where the hell should he start? The couple of hours he had been lying awake in the room, thinking of something to tell Ryan, hadn’t given him any good ideas and only made him realize the gravity of the stupidity of his actions because he couldn’t even find the slightest valid reason to justify his earlier behavior. Was there even one?
“So uh,” Brendon continued to stutter. Ryan was unmoving on the airbed but Brendon had nasty feeling that the other was actually watching him which didn’t help at all.
And in fact, he was. Ryan was watching him from the darkness, waiting for something to be said.
Brendon scratched the back of his neck, feeling like an idiot. His mind had formulated the thought ‘I wanted to kiss you even though you’re a guy and I’m a guy, and it would be totally abnormal and perverted for us to go all porn like that but I don’t regret it at all. I still want to do it now despite it being highly improper, so can I?’ Now the issue of phrasing and filtering of what should be uttered... Fuck it.
“Forget it,” Brendon muttered quickly before burying his face on his pillow.
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When Ryan woke up the next morning, Brendon wasn’t in the room. He was grateful and took the chance to go to the bathroom. As he washed his face, he pushed the memories of last night’s events back and hastily went out. It wasn’t long before Julie was calling him for breakfast and Ryan found himself seated beside Brendon on the dining table and munching on pancakes.
Brendon refused to meet his eyes or to talk to him which Ryan was perfectly okay with. He too avoided Brendon’s eyes and ate in silence while the other engaged his mother and Julie in a lively conversation about his work.
“You are eating too fast,” Julie suddenly told Brendon.
Brendon paused with a forkful of pancake in midair. “Excuse me?”
“Slow down. You’re making me feel sick,” Julie said wrinkling her nose at her brother.
“I’m not eating fast,” he told her indignantly, casting Ryan a quick side glance.
“Your sister is right,” his mother joined in. “Is something the matter?” she added with slightly worried tone and gave Ryan questioning look.
“Nothing,” Brendon answered quickly. “Why should there?”
“You eat fast when you’re nervous,” Julie said.
Brendon visibly stiffened while Ryan quietly choked on his coffee. He kept his eyes glued to the table, feeling Brendon’s eyes stealing glances at him.
“I...uh, left a few, uh, papers at work. I’m just thinking about those,” Brendon said finally. “I told you I’m kind of busy, right? I’m just thinking of those unfinished proposals. That’s all.”
“You are working too much,” his mother said. “You should extend your stay here and help me with my garden.”
“I can’t. The company needs me,” he told her.
Ryan kept his eyes on the table and quietly continued eating breakfast. As he was drinking his coffee, he caught sight of Julie stirring her own steaming cup but her eyes weren’t on the dark liquid. She was keenly watching her older brother with an expression that told Ryan she wasn’t buying his excuse. Julie’s gaze suddenly shifted and she caught Ryan watching her. Ryan gave her a quick smile and looked away.
“Then repair the fencing of my garden later,” she said, ignoring Brendon before she turned to Ryan. “Help him, will you?”
Ryan blinked.
“The pesky German Shepherd of the neighbor escaped sometime last week and trespassed my yard. Destroyed my fence and vines,” she said, looking like the memory of the incident still irritated her.
“O-Of course,” Ryan stuttered.
“You know where the tools are,” Julie told Brendon, still with that skeptic and knowing air.
After that, Ryan tried to stuff as much food as possible in his system in an attempt to delay the inevitable. It was stupid, he knew, but the thought of having to just face Brendon alone again after what happened was eating up his nerves. Nevertheless, the table ran out of food and the plates were empty. He started to gather the plates but Julie stopped him.
“Leave it,” Julie said. Brendon was already in the process of leaving the table and Julie gestured at him. “Just go help my brother with the fencing.”
Ryan had to get up and follow Brendon as the other announced to no one in general, “I’ll get the tools.”
Ryan followed him uncertainly as Julie shooed him away from the dining table and found himself walking to the backdoor. Brendon opened it, not looking back at him to see if Ryan’s following but keeping his pace slow so he, assumingly, can keep up. The backyard was mostly covered by grass, Ryan noticed as he continued to follow Brendon. There were plants too here and there but Brendon’s mom made sure that her best ones were on the front yard to be shown off.
At the end corner of the yard was a small wooden shed which Brendon opened. Ryan quietly entered after him. There was a little light bulb inside which Brendon clicked before he was rummaging on several shelves with his back at Ryan.
“Fuck, where did they put the hammer again?” he muttered to himself.
Ryan stood behind him, unsure of what to do and just watching the other look for the accursed hammer. He sighed. Neither of them was saying anything but both of them were acting like nothing happened. It was very awkward and Ryan who was normally a quiet and reserved person was itching to break the ice. He was there, so he might as well help than look stupid. He started to make his way beside Brendon and wordlessly dug into the piles of rusting paint cans and tool boxes.
Brendon stiffened when he saw Ryan joining him but he kept his eyes on the shelf. He was too conscious of the little space between them and somehow, the shed was hotter than Brendon remembered.
He pushed several dusty boxes out of the way and shifted others to the floor. Brendon hated this shed for this precise reason, being so unused. When he was living here, it was only him and his brothers that used this shed to repair little things.
And there it was. At the lowest shelf, a wooden handle was sticking out mixed with a few scraps of wood. He sighed in relief before ducking down to retrieve the hammer, only, Ryan had decided to lean down exactly at same time and their heads collided. Classic.
“I’m sorry,” Brendon muttered automatically as he rubbed his forehead and stepped back. Head bumps seemed a lot more romantic and less painful in the movies. Wait, romantic? What the...
“It’s fine. Yeah, sorry,” Ryan mumbled in return, also rubbing his forehead.
Brendon swooped down again and snatched the hammer. “Got it,” he announced before stepping out of the shed in quick strides and muttering things under his breath that Ryan didn’t catch.
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“His name is Demon.”
Ryan frowned slightly, holding two pieces of wood together that were a part of the fence while Brendon hammered a nail through them. “Who?”
“Demon, the german shepherd that destroyed this fencing,” Brendon said and gave the nail another pound.
The nail went straight through the first and the second wood, binding them together. Brendon wiped his brow with his arm and smiled a bit. It was a small progress considering that Demon almost destroyed the entire one fourth of the fence that led to the side of the house but it was a progress nonetheless. They didn’t see it immediately and Brendon’s mom needed to show them the damage because it was partly hidden by the bushes but it was quite a big one. They will need to spend the entire afternoon under the sun if they wanted to fix it before they left.
“What the hell was Demon doing in this fence to cause this much damage anyway?” Ryan asked as he aligned another pair of wood for Brendon. He could already feel sweat running down his back.
“Beats me,” Brendon answered. They were talking but no one had dared to make eye-contact yet.
Ryan sighed and handed Brendon another nail which the other positioned on the wood again. The heat was starting to get to him and he wiped the side of his face.
“But he used to be a little darling,” Brendon added quietly.
“Demon?” Ryan asked a little surprised.
“Yeah,” he answered with a nod. “When I was younger, around sixteen or seventeen, I used to hang out with Demon. He was just a little puppy back then and his owner would let me see him because I wanted to have a dog around that time but couldn’t get one.”
“Why can’t you get a dog?”
Brendon paused thoughtfully before carrying on with his hammer. “Mom said I’m too busy with school and I’m about to go to college anyway so I can’t really take care of a pet.”
“You should have gotten a fish,” Ryan told him.
“That’s boring,” Brendon commented with a smile so bright, Ryan thought it rivaled the afternoon sun itself.
“But at least you’ll get to achieve two objectives with one simple act,” Ryan argued. “One, you’ll get a pet and two, you won’t kill a pet.”
Brendon laughed. “Where’s the fun in that? That’s too safe and besides, it defeats the purpose of actually getting a pet.”
“Which is?” Ryan probed.
“To take care and spend time with,” he answered. “You wouldn’t want to get a pet just for the sake of a getting a pet, right? The point is to feed it and play with it and-”
“Clean the poop,” Ryan added.
“Clean the poop,” Brendon agreed, “and do all those other things too. That’s what’s having pet is.”
“I disagree,” Ryan said. “I think that you can have a pet and not put yourself through such... misery. If you don’t toil bathing or walking your pet, it doesn’t mean that you’re not taking care of it.”
“But it will really require some work one way or another,” Brendon argued. “And the bottom line will be whether you’d be willing to do it for the sake of your pet and overlook the hard work of cleaning up poop.”
Ryan laughed. “I can’t believe we’re having a discussion about this.”
“Fun, isn’t it?” Brendon asked and he really was enjoying himself. Not many people could sustain such a boring topic with him while making the conversation easy and pleasant. Ryan was just so easy to talk to, so smart and was speaking the same language as him. Brendon felt he could almost tell him anything.
“I’ll get the rest of the fence,” Ryan said, returning the smile and walked over to the said fence, picking up the dismantled pieces of wood and gathering them in his arms.
Brendon watched Ryan’s back from where he was nailing the rest of the fence. Ryan had a small wet patch of sweat on the back of his shirt and the sandy locks near his nape and in front of his ears were wet. Brendon vaguely thought of how little Ryan had sweat compared to him who, without a doubt, had his shirt almost completely soaked with sweat by now. He touched the back of his shirt and indeed, it was wet. Soaked.
“Here,” Ryan said when he walked back to where Brendon was, wood pieces in his thin arms. He dropped them beside Brendon and sat in front of him.
Brendon couldn’t help but get a whiff of Ryan’s scent. The other was sweating just like him and didn’t smell like perfume at all but it wasn’t a bad odor either. It was distinct but it was also obvious that there was sweat in it. Brendon remembered Ryan’s tiny apartment in New York. It smelled like this, like Ryan.
“You seem pretty handy with that,” Ryan commented suddenly and Brendon was pulled out of his musings.
He smirked at him and gave the nail an expertly delivered pound with the hammer that buried it deep into the wood. “I helped make the shed itself when I was thirteen.”
Ryan snorted. “How come?”
“Because I’m a boy? It’s natural for boys to learn this kind of things,” Brendon explained. “But I guess not for everyone.”
Ryan let the comment slide. “Did... Who taught you?”
Brendon paused and for a moment, Ryan thought he got him angry. The other just shrugged though, putting the hammer down and wiping his brow with his shirt. “When you told me that I should just ask what happened to you after you disappeared, you were asking me to not treat you like a fragile broken thing. I’m asking you the same thing.”
Ryan was slightly taken aback but he nodded anyway. “I just thought it would be a touchy subject.”
“You can ask.”
“Okay,” Ryan said. “So where’s your father?”
“That’s more I like it,” Brendon told him and Ryan involuntarily grinned. Brendon picked the hammer again and went back to nailing the fence back together. “I barely remember him. My oldest brother, Jimmy, would be able to tell you more about him because I was just three when he died.”
“I’m sorry,” Ryan said automatically which made him want to slap his own head. He hated it when people say sorry for things they didn’t do.
Brendon however, just nodded. “It’s okay. I really don’t know him so I guess I can’t say I miss him. My mother was just worried that her children would grow up to be scums of society because they have to grow up without a father. We turned out okay though.”
“Must be hard for her,” Ryan said.
“It was hardest for her,” Brendon agreed. “But she’s tough. She raised us all well and our family can’t really get any happier.”
“Except for you marrying and having kids,” Ryan said without thinking.
They both paused. Ryan gazed at the other uncertainly. He wasn’t really sure about why he should be embarrassed about what he said. He just felt like it was inappropriate and apparently, Brendon thought so too.
“Yeah,” Brendon said after a few moments. “She’d like that.”
He stared at Ryan despite the other avoiding his gaze. It was ridiculous to be acting like this.
“Last night,” Brendon found himself saying and he didn’t miss the sudden hitch in Ryan’s breath.
“Now look at that.”
Ryan and Brendon turned to see Brendon’s mother carrying a tray with a pitcher and two glasses balanced on top. She smiled at them and carefully set the tray on the garden table before pouring them iced drinks on each glass. “My boys are working so hard.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Urie,” Ryan muttered and got up.
“Have some juice,” she told them. “It’s so nice to finally have men in this house.
Ryan immediately took his glass from the tray and Brendon stiffly followed suit. They drank their juice while she inspected the progress of their work. Brendon wiped his arm on his forehead again and forced a smile at his mom.
“I invited Grace to have dinner with us-” she began.
“Mom!” Brendon interrupted her.
“But she said she’s going to visit her grandmother,” she finished. “Honestly Bren, she’s such a sweet girl. I don’t get why you hate her.”
“I don’t hate her,” Brendon told her. “I just don’t like her.”
“Why not?” she asked stubbornly. “She’s pretty, sweet, kind”
Brendon scratched the back of his neck in frustration. “She’s great, alright. But I don’t feel anything for her. I know it may sound crazy that I’m not madly in love with her despite her being sweet and pretty but really mom, it doesn’t work that way. It never will.”
“All I’m asking is that you give her a chance,” she said and Ryan was beginning to think he shouldn’t be hearing this conversation.
“I don’t want her to have false hopes,” Brendon said. “I’m making it clear that she can’t expect anything from me because I don’t want her to get hurt. Please do the same for her sake.”
She sighed. “Fine. I won’t force you to like her now but keep your options open.”
With that, she turned to her heels and went back inside the house.
“We will never understand each other,” Brendon said and sighed.
“She only means well, I’m sure,” Ryan told him.
Brendon placed his glass down and grabbed the hammer again. “Yeah, yeah.”
They continued working on the fence in silence this time. Brendon didn’t bring up any topics anymore and Ryan followed his lead, focusing on the repairing the fence and not saying a word.
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That night, Ryan entered the room he was sharing to find Brendon with his laptop out on the bed along with a small pile of papers. He was already in his loose white shirt and shorts with the laptop on front of him. His eyes squinted at the screen, furiously typing away in full concentration that he didn’t notice it when Ryan walked in.
“You wear glasses?” Ryan asked automatically as he closed the door.
Brendon looked up at him, his eyes tired but very much awake behind the lenses of his red frames. “I also have this in black.”
Ryan was just thinking about how informal the glasses would look if Brendon wore it with his office suit but the other seemed to have read his mind. It was tiring to have gone on like the way they did, avoiding each other’s gaze and not saying anything when not necessary. It was only then that it dawned on Ryan how much he had became so used to talking to Brendon.
“Okay,” Ryan said simply and continued to make his way to his bed.
He had a towel around his shoulders and was rubbing his head dry. He watched Brendon work quietly with slight fascination as the other scan the papers and type things with a serious expression while he pretended to be busy with his hair. It was the first time that Ryan saw him like this, busy and wearing a serious look with those dorky glasses.
“I’m going to sleep,” Ryan told him after some time, not really expecting a response.
“Wait,” Brendon said, shifting on his bed and pushing the laptop away. “Can we talk?”
Oh boy. Ryan didn’t want to talk. Why couldn’t they just act like nothing happened? He didn’t reply and continued drying his hair.
“We’re adults, Ryan. We can talk about it,” Brendon said firmly, once again as if reading his mind.
“About what?” Ryan asked but he didn’t remove the towel from his face. His hair was almost dry but he kept on rubbing the towel anyway.
Brendon sighed. “You know what.”
Ryan let one of his eyes peek through the towel and he saw the other staring at him through those glasses of his. Slowly and reluctantly, he lowered the towel and let it fall around his shoulders.
“Look, I... It was my fault-” Brendon began.
“You don’t need to explain,” Ryan cut him off.
Brendon stared at him with a confused expression on his face. Ryan smiled at him.
“It’s fine. I don’t care what the hell happened to you at that moment. Let’s forget about it. I’ll act like that it didn’t happen at all,” Ryan told him.
Instead of looking relieved as Ryan had hoped, Brendon’s gaze hardened. He looked angry.
“What?” Ryan asked.
“So you’re just... going to brush it aside?” Brendon deadpanned.
“What do you want me to do?” Ryan asked, his voice rising in tone. “Get mad because you tried to kiss me? Hit you for what you did or something?”
Brendon looked away and slowly took his red glasses off. He sighed again, looking like he was lost despite knowing exactly what he wanted to say. “You don’t care why.”
It was more like a statement than a question. Ryan stared at his toes and replaced the towel on his head to avoid having to look at Brendon. He knew it was a stupid gesture but he did it nonetheless because he really didn’t want to deal with what’s happening, one of those moments that he wished he could just disappear.
“It’s not that I don’t care,” Ryan said slowly with his face directed to his toe and hidden from view.
Brendon looked up at him, waiting for Ryan to continue which the other did.
“But what good would it do? We’re just fine the way we were... and we can go back to that. We don’t have to make things worse.”
Somehow, Brendon felt angry at what he said yet a part of him knew he understood. Ryan did make sense. If they were to forget that moment of stupidity of his, everything would go back to normal. Still, he didn’t fee like he wanted it that way. Why?
Ryan heard the bed creak under Brendon’s weight and after a few moments, the towel on his head was being lifted gently and Brendon was in front of him. He didn’t dare move, just clutched tightly on his leg as Brendon reluctantly ran his fingers through his slightly wet hair before settling beside him. Their knees touch and the small contact burned his skin.
“I wish... I knew what to say anyway,” Brendon said softly. “This isn’t how I imagined things to turn out.”
Ryan looked up, thinking of something to say and failing. His eyes were focused on the full lips of Brendon which was very near. He wanted to move away but instead, he shifted closer. Brendon didn’t look like he noticed for he was busy staring at Ryan’s face, his eyes, nose, cheeks... lips.
“And can you please,” Brendon said as he gently placed his fingers below Ryan’s chin before lifting it up to meet the other’s gaze, “stop being a fucking wuss?”
Ryan swallowed. He could see every tiny detail on Brendon’s face as the other moved forward towards him. He didn’t know when he had stopped breathing but he did and he fisted the sheets beneath them as they got closer and closer. Their noses were touching now but Brendon stopped before their lips met. They were looking right into each other’s eyes, hovering, exchanging warm breaths against each other’s faces.
“You’re not stopping me this time?” Brendon breathed softly and their lips almost touched.
“You’d call me a wuss if I did,” Ryan answered.
With that, Brendon closed the gap. Their lips merely pressed against each other and Brendon struggled a little to maintain his balance. He was slightly leaning forward to keep their lips connected but he was also pulling back slightly so he wouldn’t stumble and fall on Ryan. It was a bit awkward position but he ignored it, concentrating instead on the feeling of Ryan’s lips against his. It was warm and soft. He needed more.
Before anything else happened, Ryan was pulling back and Brendon almost did stumble on him. Ryan looked breathless and dazed, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe what had just happened.
“Wuss,” Brendon called him with a slight glare.
“You didn’t do anything either,” Ryan said defensively.
Brendon suddenly grabbed the neck of Ryan’s old shirt and pulled him in before the other could react. The wet towel fell off his shoulders.
“Then let’s do it right.”
“You want to kiss a guy for a second time?” Ryan asked, both his hands on Brendon’s shoulders for support.
“I’ll take your advice and throw it back to you. Let’s not talk about it,” Brendon said before swiftly tugging Ryan forward and catching his lips with his.
They started slow with Brendon assuming the more active role as he gradually made his movements bigger, more aggressive and owning. Ryan just sat there with his eyes closed as Brendon tentatively began lightly nipping on his lower lip, angling his head so he could move closer and putting a hand behind Ryan’s neck.
He had been thinking about this since the other night and now it was happening. He knew it was weird to be feeling the kind of attraction he was feeling towards Ryan but now that he had Ryan’s lips pressed against his, feeling every tiny intimate movement, he thought he understood. It wasn’t just the way Ryan could just get into his mind or the way he looked, how pretty his face was or how androgynous he looked like.
There was something that was drawing him in like a magnet that was too strong to fight, because hell, Brendon did fight. Everytime he met up with Ryan and see him, he wanted to stay longer. It made him do things that he wouldn’t normally do to people he just met but Ryan somehow had that kind of effect on him, making lose his self-control, his reason, any inhibitions that he had.
A distinct movement from Ryan’s bottom lip stirred warm pools in Brendon stomach. He used the hand on Ryan’s nape to pull the other closer and was delighted to feel that Ryan was actually kissing back, matching his movements with slowly gaining confidence. He felt the hand on his chest move lower, slowly and sensually. He copied the gesture and let his hand travel down from Ryan’s nape until he was holding his hip.
Ryan was breathing heavily, gasping hard every time they part for a moment before resuming. It was the only time for him to take in air as Brendon seemed to have suddenly developed a liking for hearing him squirm while they kiss and was now forcefully moving forward. The way Brendon was kissing him was driving him insane, so wanted. He forgot why he kept fighting against this happening in the first place. It was a stupid idea now.
Soon he lost his balance and Brendon landed on top of him, the poor airbed squeaking under their weight. They were forced to break the kiss but Brendon stayed there, supporting himself with his arms at either side of Ryan’s head.
They just stared at each other’s eyes, hazy with lust, and panting. No one dared to say anything. Ryan’s eyes flickered down at the other’s lips involuntarily and he immediately flushed. Brendon grinned lightly, happy at how things were going, and adjusted his legs so that he was straddling Ryan’s torso. He licked his lips with anticipation as he lowered his head again, seeing Ryan look back at him with equal need. They haven’t even tried with tongue yet.
Suddenly, there were footsteps behind the door and without thinking, they scrambled out of bed in panic. Barely two seconds after Brendon had detached himself from Ryan, the door opened and in came Julie’s head. Brendon almost tripped on his own leg.
“I just got home and I brought a cake,” she told them.
Ryan casually fixed his hair and smiled back at her. “Brendon was just talking about... how he was craving for one. Great timing.”
“Yeah,” Brendon said and slowly smoothed out his shirt. “But I’m tired. Save some for me?”
“Sure,” Julie said with a smile. “I’ll spare some slices for you both.”
“Thanks,” Ryan muttered.
“No problem. Mom said you two worked very hard on her fence,” she told him and closed the door.
There were footsteps on the hallway and they released relieved sighs at the same time. They met each other’s gaze and they laughed loudly. Ryan thought it was strange that just seconds ago, they were exchanging saliva and now they were laughing like nothing happened. After a few moments they stopped, staring off at different parts of the room.
“That was weird,” Ryan told no one in particular.
“I feel like we’re doing something illegal, like watching porn or something, but not quite because I’m twenty-five and you’re twenty-three and we could if we want to... but not because, you know, we want to or anything...” Brendon rambled.
There was silence in the room after Brendon lost his unorganized train of thought and it stretched for several moments. They weren’t saying anything but they both knew that the other was thinking of the same thing.
Brendon was tired of the silence and awkwardness but he guess it couldn’t be helped. There was a strong urge in him now, he wanted to come over to Ryan, just crawl over back to his side although he wasn’t sure of what he wanted to do. Talk to him? Say sorry? Pin him back down... Maybe he just wanted to be close.
But for the second time, Ryan seemed to have made the decision for him as he fell back on the airbed, back facing Brendon. He was motionless and quiet, not saying anything or do anything to acknowledge what had just happened. So he lied down too. His gaze landed on Ryan’s back and for some reason, he felt like he shouldn’t be looking at the other. He turned to his side and faced the wall instead.
“Brendon”
He stiffened. “Yeah?”
“Nothing happened.”
“What?”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen. It didn’t happen.”
“It’s fine. I don’t care what the hell happened to you at that moment. Let’s forget about it. I’ll act like that it didn’t happen at all.”
“Whatever,” he muttered and threw the blanket over his head. It was getting complicated.
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Her eyes were wide in horror and it took some time for her realize that she was halfway up a step on the stairs. Samantha was climbing up to her room when the familiar coldness took over her and everything blacked out. She tightly gripped the railing before she completely lost all of her sensation as Ryan had taught her after that one incident that she almost broke her skull open.
She was catching her breath, clutching her chest as she slowly let go of the railing and found herself sitting on the step, unable to move. She could remember everything. So clear and vivid, it almost felt real. The men, the guns, the knife, the ropes, the blood.
Ryan.
“Ryan,” she muttered unconsciously. She needed him now.
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NOTES:
Wuzzah!!! I rise from the dead (briefly) to deliver chapter 10. The interaction between Ryan and Brendon is getting complex... I hope I didn’t confuse anyone out there. I think I'm developing a sort of... avoidance of naming some of my characters (Brendon's dad in JG and then his mom here) but what matters is that you understand. hehe...
Anyway, thank so much for waiting! Your comments keep me writing so I appreciate all of them. ^___^ Hope you enjoy.
Un-everything.