Shaken
After the longest most impossibly upsetting day since I cannot remember when possibly the most upsetting day in my entire life. Of which I cannot really rationaly put into words at the moment I am left needing a strong drink with I refuse to have. A shoulder to cry on which is not available. a hug which is not forth coming and a way to stop thinking that I am not a complete utter failure and coward.
All that I can say is that I saw something today that broke my heart. Killed my self respect and makes me feel more helpless then I have ever felt before. and even thought its been hours since the begining of the accident I cant get any of it out of my head and I cant seem to get the weight or pain out of my chest.
If I could go back intime to the accident I would shoot the protagonist of the whole thing and then myself for being an utter spinless coward.
All that I can say is that I saw something today that broke my heart. Killed my self respect and makes me feel more helpless then I have ever felt before. and even thought its been hours since the begining of the accident I cant get any of it out of my head and I cant seem to get the weight or pain out of my chest.
If I could go back intime to the accident I would shoot the protagonist of the whole thing and then myself for being an utter spinless coward.