El Fin
I'm growing kinda sick of LJ. Perhaps, I lost sight of why I kept it going for so long. Although forced to sign up senior year, I admit I enjoyed the however many people on my friends list there are and commenting and all that. It was all new to me and I don't know, it was cool. But I mean now, maybe 4 people still go on this. But it's not even about that. It's about a lot of things. I'm just tired of reading about the ups and downs of everyone's lives. one minute you're in a relationship and posting on here about how great life is. Wanting everyone to share in your happiness. The next you're complaining because life is so terrible. The slightest thing can bring somebody down.
I'm sick of people asking me for advice and not taking what I give. Nor respecting what I give. Tired of talking that girl into not skipping school because at present she fails to see the point in going. She's going to spectrum now and I don't feel bad at all, because even now she doesn't get it. I'm tired of the omg's, lol's, hehehe's. the "life sucks" "why me?" and the "i listen to good charlotte" yeah so i couldn't think of another. If we all stopped reflecting on what's bothering us and just I don't know look at everything we're missing while we complain. And how much time we waste filling out pointless surveys, or reposting dumb love stories that JUST DON'T HAPPEN. I don't know; maybe things would be better. That's what i intend to find out/do. Because I'm sick of people wishing for shit to happen instead of actually doing shit to see that it happens.
I don't know if I make sense to anyone. I honestly don't think anyone reads anyone's entries anymore. They just sit around and wait for comments. Let me also say that anything I've said just now is not directed at anyone. I'm not sick of anyone. I'm sick of lj and it's effect on everyone, including me. I shouldn't have to think at any moment, "I wonder how that would look in lj." Ahh, then again this could be one of my mood swings. I don't know what's wrong with me. Exams are coming up and I just don't feel like studying. I want to, and I have been, but it's just so hard to bring myself to do anything beneficial this past week. I just want to go home and take a break. I've spent my vacations hanging out with friends. And now I wish I had spent more time reflecting on the year and understanding myself. Because I confuse the hell out of myself sometimes. I want to figure out what I want and how I want to get it. To plan ahead in order. But at school, being constantly handed assignments, being in only four classes this semester and wondering how I'm going to handle five again.
Those four months of summer I keep thinking of and talking about are probably going to be overrated when they happen, but for now it's just something within reach. A four-month escape from reality. And I'm so close. So a lot on my mind, but the one thing I'm sure of is that I'm deleting this account sometime next month. And if that breaks any so-called communication between so-called friends, that's just the way it is.
I'm sick of people asking me for advice and not taking what I give. Nor respecting what I give. Tired of talking that girl into not skipping school because at present she fails to see the point in going. She's going to spectrum now and I don't feel bad at all, because even now she doesn't get it. I'm tired of the omg's, lol's, hehehe's. the "life sucks" "why me?" and the "i listen to good charlotte" yeah so i couldn't think of another. If we all stopped reflecting on what's bothering us and just I don't know look at everything we're missing while we complain. And how much time we waste filling out pointless surveys, or reposting dumb love stories that JUST DON'T HAPPEN. I don't know; maybe things would be better. That's what i intend to find out/do. Because I'm sick of people wishing for shit to happen instead of actually doing shit to see that it happens.
I don't know if I make sense to anyone. I honestly don't think anyone reads anyone's entries anymore. They just sit around and wait for comments. Let me also say that anything I've said just now is not directed at anyone. I'm not sick of anyone. I'm sick of lj and it's effect on everyone, including me. I shouldn't have to think at any moment, "I wonder how that would look in lj." Ahh, then again this could be one of my mood swings. I don't know what's wrong with me. Exams are coming up and I just don't feel like studying. I want to, and I have been, but it's just so hard to bring myself to do anything beneficial this past week. I just want to go home and take a break. I've spent my vacations hanging out with friends. And now I wish I had spent more time reflecting on the year and understanding myself. Because I confuse the hell out of myself sometimes. I want to figure out what I want and how I want to get it. To plan ahead in order. But at school, being constantly handed assignments, being in only four classes this semester and wondering how I'm going to handle five again.
Those four months of summer I keep thinking of and talking about are probably going to be overrated when they happen, but for now it's just something within reach. A four-month escape from reality. And I'm so close. So a lot on my mind, but the one thing I'm sure of is that I'm deleting this account sometime next month. And if that breaks any so-called communication between so-called friends, that's just the way it is.