(no subject)
I don't really know what to say...I have a lot I need to get off my chest, but I don't know the most constructive, mature, grown-up way to handle myself in this situation.
My eyes are so puffy. I spent all night crying and, pathetically, I don't have the hormones to blame anymore.
I just lost something that was very important to me...in about a five minute window, with very little warning, and not the hint of an apology. Or even, really, a nod to the possibility that I might be feeling a loss.
Don't get me wrong, I know that we all have to do what's best for the organization. What's best for the group, for the whole...but sometimes, I think it's important to remember that maybe the people in that place, in that space, in that moment, are there because they really love to be. That maybe being there in that hour, or two hours, is the one thing that they are really proud of. That being a part of the group, the whole that we have to protect no matter what we potentially sacrifice, could be the one thing that somebody does only for herself. And that to lose that, suddenly, with no way to prepare, with no way to exit gracefully, on the spot, and with no recognition that it might be painful...well, that maybe that could be hurtful?
I don't know what I wanted...certainly not more talking. Not in that space, not sitting just around the corner, not with a faux sentimental farewell. Maybe even just an admittance that four months IS a long time.
That losing something changes everything.
My eyes are so puffy. I spent all night crying and, pathetically, I don't have the hormones to blame anymore.
I just lost something that was very important to me...in about a five minute window, with very little warning, and not the hint of an apology. Or even, really, a nod to the possibility that I might be feeling a loss.
Don't get me wrong, I know that we all have to do what's best for the organization. What's best for the group, for the whole...but sometimes, I think it's important to remember that maybe the people in that place, in that space, in that moment, are there because they really love to be. That maybe being there in that hour, or two hours, is the one thing that they are really proud of. That being a part of the group, the whole that we have to protect no matter what we potentially sacrifice, could be the one thing that somebody does only for herself. And that to lose that, suddenly, with no way to prepare, with no way to exit gracefully, on the spot, and with no recognition that it might be painful...well, that maybe that could be hurtful?
I don't know what I wanted...certainly not more talking. Not in that space, not sitting just around the corner, not with a faux sentimental farewell. Maybe even just an admittance that four months IS a long time.
That losing something changes everything.