I've been a bitch to thankgiving,
Yes I know the title doesn't make sense but if u read on you'll understand. I've been out of hospitals for the last two months I was DYING. But I was so happy or at least on the outside I pretended to be. And now it's hurts ti smile. I sat outside today and as the wind blew through my hair I felt like someone was there. And it hurt to know who I wanted to be there will never be there again.I also thought today about how many faimlies this thanksgiving will have one less place setting at the table or how many people will never see there faimlies face again but they don't Know. My cousins are coming for thanksgiving, (yes the ones who refuse to call me Ashlee, they call me sage which I hate) another reason I don't want thanksgiving to come. My faimly now looks at me (and some of them don't even look at me) like they should dstart making funeral arraingments. I hate it. I want to throw myself down a flight of stairs as if to say I'm not dying byatch.
Ashes
Ashes