Comments | deadlyhollow: Chapter Thirty -- The Sacking of Severus Snape

gehayi in deadlyhollow

Chapter Thirty -- The Sacking of Severus Snape

Feb 07, 2008 07:07

Today's sporking is by anitaray. She's on vacation until February 20th.

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Chapter 30: The Sacking of Severus Snape

In which Harry runs about hither and tither watching other people do stuff, and Voldemort chills for a bit. A LONG bit.

( Also, Ginny, that supposedly powerful witch, is considered too young to fight, and we learn that torturing people is noble...if your name is Harry Potter. )

Comments 64

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gehayi February 7 2008, 13:37:44 UTC

I KNOW. It's tragic. Such a waste of a valuable resource. How could she do it?

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elanor_x February 7 2008, 15:27:38 UTC

I threw out a DH sporky script during the summer
I would so like to read it. Can you give a link, please?

Thread 7

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gehayi February 7 2008, 14:01:11 UTC

I swear she wrote that scene while watching a Road Runner cartoon. You know how Wile E. Coyote always crashes through trucks and mountains, leaving coyote-shaped holes.

(JKR, repeat after me: NO ONE SAYS "IT IS I". No one talks like that. Not Snape, not Remus, not anyone. Also, as he's just appeared and everyone knows him, he doesn't need to announce who he is. We all know already. FAIL)

Oh, God, you're so right!

Snape turned to them and said, 'Yes. Snape: it is I! I, am Snape! Snape I am!'

"Would you like green eggs and ham?"

"NO!
"I would not like them in a boat
"Sailed by a proud and pompous goat
"Who goes by name of Dumbledore--
"I'd find it all a crashing bore.
"I would not like them in a lake
"Or with Dark Lord and his pet snake,
"And Animagi leave me cold--
"I loathe those stupid, and yet bold.
"Both Phoenix-folk and dense Death Eaters
"Impress me not a milliliter.
"And I would hate them with prediction
"That turned out to be mostly fiction.
"I flee, I fly, I shoo, I scram,
"I hate this tale!" said Snape-I-Am.

mary_j_59 February 8 2008, 19:03:51 UTC

My comment appeared way down at the bottom - it won't make any sense there. I love this poem! Congratulations!

delphinapterus February 9 2008, 17:52:04 UTC

That is absolutely hilarious.

Thread 25

Re: wolfsbaine February 7 2008, 15:21:43 UTC

And this is why I cannot stand Molly Weasleys's stinking, hypocritical guts.

I prayed ever page she would die, I know the rest of the Weasley’s were praying along with me. Arthur was just dreaming of spending his retirement in that shed fiddling with muggles things.

Had Rowling really cared about Mr Weasley she would have done for Molly first chance she got. I HATE HER.

minkhollow February 7 2008, 15:22:11 UTC

I'll Cruciate the lot of 'em …
The thing about this? It puts my brain in filk territory again.

CARROOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS!
CARROOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS!
Cruciating the countryside, Cruciating the students...

That's as far as I can get, though. If anyone else wants to finish off not!Trogdor, be my guest.

mmoa February 7 2008, 15:31:09 UTC

Oh my God... I'd forgotten how awful this bit was (I only read the book through once for consistency's sake). On the plus side, I now have the image of Voldemort spending the entire war drooling over 'men at play' and a new pairing for the new age: Snitwick!