((Private))
Slept until half eleven today. I wish he'd woke me up so I could kiss him goodbye and have breakfast with him, instead of dribbling contentedly into my pillow while he went off to face the cold unforgiving world alone.
Day one as a lady of leisure... as if. I have so much to fucking do, it's unreal.
But I'd rather have even more to do if it meant I got to stay with him all day. I can't believe I didn't realise until now that "maternity leave" meant "stay at home for hours and hours away from Jon".
Which, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sold on.
Maybe I've gotten too used to being with him all the time. Except for an afternoon or an evening here and there, we pretty much haven't been apart since August.
I miss him.
I know it's stupid and that it wouldn't be healthy to always be with him, I know that. I still miss him though.
I miss Pete. So much. I haven't seen him in fucking ages, I actually ache with the physical need to see him, see that he's alright, hold him as tight as he'll allow me to. It hurts so much, loving someone who hurts so much when there's nothing you can do. My baby, my boy... god I love him so much.
I'm lucky that Jon isn't the jealous type, because it would be so easy to misconstrue. How many girls decide to give a mother's love to a grown man? How many grown men would accept the arrangement wholeheartedly?
It would be easy to think it was less than genuine. It's not though, it's so innocent and so perfect.
True love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have.
Day one as a lady of leisure... as if. I have so much to fucking do, it's unreal.
But I'd rather have even more to do if it meant I got to stay with him all day. I can't believe I didn't realise until now that "maternity leave" meant "stay at home for hours and hours away from Jon".
Which, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sold on.
Maybe I've gotten too used to being with him all the time. Except for an afternoon or an evening here and there, we pretty much haven't been apart since August.
I miss him.
I know it's stupid and that it wouldn't be healthy to always be with him, I know that. I still miss him though.
I miss Pete. So much. I haven't seen him in fucking ages, I actually ache with the physical need to see him, see that he's alright, hold him as tight as he'll allow me to. It hurts so much, loving someone who hurts so much when there's nothing you can do. My baby, my boy... god I love him so much.
I'm lucky that Jon isn't the jealous type, because it would be so easy to misconstrue. How many girls decide to give a mother's love to a grown man? How many grown men would accept the arrangement wholeheartedly?
It would be easy to think it was less than genuine. It's not though, it's so innocent and so perfect.
True love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have.