Erm... I'm not sure how I'm supposed to stop you exactly... pets are a big responsibility, I'm not cleaning up after it for you, blah, blah, blah.... And, erm, how awful would it be if my baby ate your baby. We'd have to be sworn enemies and do battle with office equipment. Though, I'm not sure how he'd even get over to yours. Maybe just the knowledge of a plump, fluffy rodent would be enough to motivate him to get the bus.
How dare your common little tabby eat my fictional chinchilla baby! Chinchilla's have CLASS, woman, maybe one such as yourself can't SEE that, but trust me I think your kitty best just step, if he thinks that's acceptable behavior.
Doesn't your kitty shag puppies though? If anything i think then he would take to Lucian (fictional chinchilla's name) quite nicely, they could very well become BOMAs.
He was shagged by A puppy. A girl puppy. I don't know how many times I walked in on her grinding away on top of him. And he rubbed his bottom in her face that one time (that I know of). He has unconventional views of gender, love and species :-S
But that doesn't seem to stop him bringing me half eaten shrews and mice. In some ways, he is very traditional :(
I'll be sure to keep him under constant vigilance and keep bus timetables away from him.
... hang on, wasn't I supposed to be stopping you?
I think this is brilliant. More of this says I. Except the Species bit...
shrews and mice are not chinchillas though, chinchillas are like what the outcome of a rabbit, a kangaroo and a hamster had a passionate night of love together.
They thought so too, apparently. It was a bit hilarious.
All three things that he dreams about killing in a thoroughly sadistic manner. Except maybe the kangaroo. But only because he doesn't know what a kangaroo is.
Ok then. Never get me to try and stop you from doing something again, I'm rubbish at it.
Most popular pet of 09, perhaps. Have you seen Treasure Planet? It has a humanoid cat and dog that fall in love and have babies at the end of the film. But it's three kittens and one puppy which was a bit of a cop out.
He's clearly doing it for me. The carcasses go straight onto my pillow when he's down a preliminary disembowling D:
Oh good, I'm not sure I could live without your approval :P
It's his way of showing he loves me. That and digging his claws into my bare stomach when I'm trying to type. Which is also how he kills things, interestingly enough. Well, the claws bit, he doesn't sneak up on mice when they're typing, that would just be silly.
Well Nena it would of course be completely underhand of him to attack the mice while they are working! How are they supposed to concentrate on film scripts and short novels with cats throwing themselves about willy nilly.
It would be preposterous. There are strict codes and criteria about these things you know; Don’t attack a mouse on a type writer, never shave a sleeping cat, only laugh at dogs on a Sunday. These are the laws that keep our country together Nena and never forget that! Constant vigilance!
I could make a really terrible joke including the word "mousterpiece" but that would just embarrass us both, so I won't. Phew.
Never shave a sleeping cat? My God, the vet never stops doing that! This is a complete outrage. Aww, when my baby had to go and get his goolies chopped off (thus making him the third male that I have loved but decided, on reflection, that I should castrate him), he was still all woozy on anaesthetic when he came home and couldn't walk in a straight line. So he just sat in the middle of the floor sulking.
Yes that would have been awful. Another crisis avoided, well done Nena.
...
Just a small hint for you- for the future; There is no story you can tell about any poor creature getting his bollocks cut off that will ever make the man you are telling go "Aww."
Also now I'm a bit frightened of you to be honest. Please leave mine well alone, I promise not to spray on the furniture.
It's a perfectly charming story, it's not my fault that men go all peculiar about their knackers.
Don't be scared, I'm a lot less cavalier with human testicles. What a strange sentence.... Anyway, the point is, your balls are safe as far as I'm concerned. *pause* And another one....
...
This conversation has taken an interesting turn =/
It always seems to come back to smut with us. I'm not even sure how. Chinchillas, we were talking about. Chinchillas.
Now its my balls. This is highly irregular. the topic I mean not my- this is fucking ridiculous. I'm now defending my balls just in case you read something wrong.
sigh.
So. How are your tits? well rested I trust and ready for another working day-
THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE A PROSTITUTE.
I'm just going to stop now. I think its for the best really. I've gone delirious.
That cat is ridiculously cute. YUCK.
I still want my chinchilla. I don't know why. Please don't let me buy a chinchilla.
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He's my baby :3
Erm... I'm not sure how I'm supposed to stop you exactly... pets are a big responsibility, I'm not cleaning up after it for you, blah, blah, blah.... And, erm, how awful would it be if my baby ate your baby. We'd have to be sworn enemies and do battle with office equipment. Though, I'm not sure how he'd even get over to yours. Maybe just the knowledge of a plump, fluffy rodent would be enough to motivate him to get the bus.
Reply
How dare your common little tabby eat my fictional chinchilla baby! Chinchilla's have CLASS, woman, maybe one such as yourself can't SEE that, but trust me I think your kitty best just step, if he thinks that's acceptable behavior.
Doesn't your kitty shag puppies though? If anything i think then he would take to Lucian (fictional chinchilla's name) quite nicely, they could very well become BOMAs.
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But that doesn't seem to stop him bringing me half eaten shrews and mice. In some ways, he is very traditional :(
I'll be sure to keep him under constant vigilance and keep bus timetables away from him.
... hang on, wasn't I supposed to be stopping you?
Reply
shrews and mice are not chinchillas though, chinchillas are like what the outcome of a rabbit, a kangaroo and a hamster had a passionate night of love together.
It's probably for the best.
I think so. Oh well. Lets go chinchilla shopping.
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All three things that he dreams about killing in a thoroughly sadistic manner. Except maybe the kangaroo. But only because he doesn't know what a kangaroo is.
Ok then. Never get me to try and stop you from doing something again, I'm rubbish at it.
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Oh. Oh imagine a kitten-puppy. People would kill for that I reckon.
I bet he doesn't, you are forcing him into it, perhaps he longs to be a vegan.
You are a bit. I thoroughly approve.
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Most popular pet of 09, perhaps. Have you seen Treasure Planet? It has a humanoid cat and dog that fall in love and have babies at the end of the film. But it's three kittens and one puppy which was a bit of a cop out.
He's clearly doing it for me. The carcasses go straight onto my pillow when he's down a preliminary disembowling D:
Oh good, I'm not sure I could live without your approval :P
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Ugh. Thomas was like that; leaving me bugs and bottle caps. He was a good birdie that one.
Good thing you've got it then, yeah?
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It's his way of showing he loves me. That and digging his claws into my bare stomach when I'm trying to type. Which is also how he kills things, interestingly enough. Well, the claws bit, he doesn't sneak up on mice when they're typing, that would just be silly.
I know! Close save there, eh?
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It would be preposterous. There are strict codes and criteria about these things you know; Don’t attack a mouse on a type writer, never shave a sleeping cat, only laugh at dogs on a Sunday. These are the laws that keep our country together Nena and never forget that! Constant vigilance!
Reply
Never shave a sleeping cat? My God, the vet never stops doing that! This is a complete outrage. Aww, when my baby had to go and get his goolies chopped off (thus making him the third male that I have loved but decided, on reflection, that I should castrate him), he was still all woozy on anaesthetic when he came home and couldn't walk in a straight line. So he just sat in the middle of the floor sulking.
Reply
...
Just a small hint for you- for the future; There is no story you can tell about any poor creature getting his bollocks cut off that will ever make the man you are telling go "Aww."
Also now I'm a bit frightened of you to be honest. Please leave mine well alone, I promise not to spray on the furniture.
Reply
Don't be scared, I'm a lot less cavalier with human testicles. What a strange sentence.... Anyway, the point is, your balls are safe as far as I'm concerned. *pause* And another one....
...
This conversation has taken an interesting turn =/
Reply
Now its my balls. This is highly irregular. the topic I mean not my- this is fucking ridiculous. I'm now defending my balls just in case you read something wrong.
sigh.
So. How are your tits? well rested I trust and ready for another working day-
THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE A PROSTITUTE.
I'm just going to stop now. I think its for the best really. I've gone delirious.
Reply
My tits are all the better for you asking. Sir :P
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