Caught off guard
You know, after what happened with Farhid, I thought I would be unable to hold feelings so soon. I thought I was going to learn to take care of myself, emotionally.
Unlike Farhid, who I have known for years and spent all my childhood fighting, Hani joined our group (the arab palestian club trust fund babes) early this December, and we became friends almost instantly. He has a very different background, even though he grew up like one of us, he quickly rebelled against that lifestyle and got away from home, and went to the american university of beirut on a scholarship.
Now he is 27 and succesful in an independent way. Maybe that was why we connected so well, me having the same ideas about my future and rebelling against the status quo of the family (i work as a waitress, as if that wasn't enough to prove my mom how independent I want to be).
And somehow, after the Big Breakup, Hani and I just started dating, first he was just supporting me in a difficult time, then we started having feelings for each other and finally, having a very sensual way of slepping with each other. Of course I didn't tell him about my prengnancy scare of a few weeks ago. You'll see, getting knocked up from someone that you just started dating is not nice news to break to anyone.
And now he leaves. Tomorrow, at 7 am, to be exact. And even if I promise him that I'll save (which would put my plans of moving on my own a little further) and then spend a vacation in Beirut with him (when the city is finally reconstructed and I finish British Academy).
That is of course, nonsense. By december he will probably have met someone else, and, if I keep on these ongoing bouts of depression, I might be dead.
I guess the beauty of this hopeless situation is that it will al be a very nice memory, and it will stay in my head as an amazing affair, that didn't have the chance to start any fights or disagreements, or the natural dissasociation that comes when time makes the relationship fade away, or worst.
The perfect relationship, one may say.
Unlike Farhid, who I have known for years and spent all my childhood fighting, Hani joined our group (the arab palestian club trust fund babes) early this December, and we became friends almost instantly. He has a very different background, even though he grew up like one of us, he quickly rebelled against that lifestyle and got away from home, and went to the american university of beirut on a scholarship.
Now he is 27 and succesful in an independent way. Maybe that was why we connected so well, me having the same ideas about my future and rebelling against the status quo of the family (i work as a waitress, as if that wasn't enough to prove my mom how independent I want to be).
And somehow, after the Big Breakup, Hani and I just started dating, first he was just supporting me in a difficult time, then we started having feelings for each other and finally, having a very sensual way of slepping with each other. Of course I didn't tell him about my prengnancy scare of a few weeks ago. You'll see, getting knocked up from someone that you just started dating is not nice news to break to anyone.
And now he leaves. Tomorrow, at 7 am, to be exact. And even if I promise him that I'll save (which would put my plans of moving on my own a little further) and then spend a vacation in Beirut with him (when the city is finally reconstructed and I finish British Academy).
That is of course, nonsense. By december he will probably have met someone else, and, if I keep on these ongoing bouts of depression, I might be dead.
I guess the beauty of this hopeless situation is that it will al be a very nice memory, and it will stay in my head as an amazing affair, that didn't have the chance to start any fights or disagreements, or the natural dissasociation that comes when time makes the relationship fade away, or worst.
The perfect relationship, one may say.