Hodgepodge survey taken from several different sources
1. As the old saying goes, March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Weather aside, how did March come and go in your life this year?
March was a pretty standard month for me. I was immersed in school, trying to get hours at work, worrying about money, and planning trips I can hopefully go on in the summer. There were some disappointments but mostly there were a lot of cozy nights spent at home and a few fun trips to go watch Cale snowboard. My mom also met his for the first time and we got to spend a fun weekend in Salmon Arm trying not to fall on all of the packed down snow. The weather and stresses were really getting me down, but I tried my best to stay positive and managed to lose a few pounds and a few inches by working out just about every day. :)
2. If a friend started reading your journal today, what would you need to fill them in on so they could understand what you're writing about?
I'm dating my best friend from high school! And it's still a relatively recent development (although April 8th is 8 months!) I work at a bookstore in a major mall in Burnaby. I go to the University of British Columbia and I major in Art History although I'm hoping to get my Masters in Library Sciences. I have one year left to get my BA and if I get into the Masters program it's another two years from there. (Hopefully not more!) I live with my recently separated mom and my boyfriend. My extended family all live in Saskatchewan (except for one cousin in Nelson and one in Toronto.) My mom has a beagle named Katie who is 5, and my cat Xiu Xiu is 6! I lived in various parts of Vancouver right out of high school and moved back in with my mom in Surrey about a year ago to help fund my schooling. My good friend Janet is getting married in June and I'm super excited to be attending her wedding. I'm 24. I'm obsessed with finding new workouts to do because I love variety. This summer i'm planning on going to Tofino, Nelson and Saskatchewan for some quick vacations. :) I have two siblings who are both younger than I am and they both moved away from home just as I moved back....
I think that's it. Ha.
3. If you were in perfect shape (not to say that you aren't), what would be your extreme sport of choice?
I would be in every triathlon that came my way. I think that would be amazing. Unfortunately, I'm not in perfect shape, and it's not really a lifelong dream of mine to BE in a triathlon, I just think it would be really awesome.
4. Who (or what) do you consider to be your first love?
My first love was reading. The knowledge that I could escape to anywhere I choose, for however long I wanted, got me through a lot of hardships when I was younger. A love of reading doesn't make you cool during your formative years, but it certainly prepares you for life after public school. It keeps your brain active, exercises your imagination and introduces you to all manner of characters and impossible situations. It's an excellent way to learn and a better way to avoid learning. Ha. There are stories I will treasure for the rest of my life and I will never run out of material. It's a practically infinite resource. Mind boggling. :)
5. Do you think people deserve second chances?
It's completely circumstantial. More often than not I DO give second chances. I'll find a way to tell someone that I have a problem, and if they repeat their actions or words then I take action, usually negatively. Ha. Sometimes you might not even know that I've made a decision, it could be something as simple as deciding not to call anymore, or deciding not to help with things like moving or going out to parties. If it's something small I don't usually make a big deal over it, but if it's something big you'll probably hear about it for months afterward until either we're no longer on speaking terms or you apologize. (usually the latter is for REALLY big things...and usually only occur in my romantic relationships.)
6. What was your favorite movie when you were a kid? Is it still your favorite now that you're older?
I had a few favorite movies, but the best were probably Sleeping Beauty and An American Tale. And yes...they are still my favorites.
7. What habit of your own annoys other people? Have you ever tried to change it?
I'm not actually too sure what habits of mine annoy other people. I had quite a few in school, but most of them had to do with insecurities or restrictions I had because I lived with my parents. I can't think of a single one that I used to have that is still lingering around. Now I probably have the opposite problems. I'm not very good at keeping in touch, since I don't especially like talking on the phone. It can take me a while to get back to people if I don't write it down or keep it in the immediate foreground of my mind, but only because while I'm in school I'm always juggling a million different things. My opinion is always readily apparent on my face. Ha. If I don't like you or something you say you'll be able to tell if you're paying attention to my body language. I'm VERY argumentative! I don't generally apologize for my behavior unless I really believe that I've wronged you, in which case I'll OVERLY apologize. I'm sure there are more....Ha.
8. Do you believe in true love? What about love at first sight?
I think I believe in the former now. But still not the latter! It's never happened to me!
9. What's the worst job you've ever had?
Working in the office. I worked with some good people, and I was grateful for the job, but the rest of the people on my floor were horrible to work with. They were all older than I was and I felt like I still hadn't left high school. They fired me without telling me once that I was doing anything wrong or giving me any kind of constructive criticism. I was clearly fired for personal reasons and even though I was only 19 at the time, I just found it to be completely unprofessional and a lot like still being in the 12th grade. I thought that that particular work environment should have been much more grown up than it really was.
10. What's the best compliment you've ever received?
Anytime someone tells me I'm good to talk to or that they respect my opinion it's always the best. I consider honesty to be one of the best traits a person can possess so anytime someone appreciates that I try to be honest in all of my dealings I'm very grateful. It's harder to tell the truth sometimes than to tell a lie, but I think it really improves your quality of life and just keeps me, personally, feeling a lot better about myself and my life. I kept secrets for a long time and it's so freeing to not feel that bottling effect anymore.
11. What's on your list of deal breakers when it comes to romantic relationships?
I don't think I have any unusual deal breakers, and most of them are the result of previous relationships. Things like being unwilling to say "I love you", not taking responsibility for themselves and their actions, being horrific with money (either spending too much or not enough), not having any goals or ambitions, not wanting children, not wanting to be married, wanting to spend more time away from me than with me, being more concerned with their relationships with other people than their relationship with me, never wanting to travel or wanting to stay in one place all the time (i love to travel and will probably move when i finish school, so this is a big one), not supporting my goals, hobbies, etc. Basically anything that suggests that they don't like me as much as I like them, OR that our goals for our lives are running in completely opposite directions. It's good to have differences, but the fundamentals should probably be pretty similar. Ha.
12. You're packing your bag for that other desert island-the one with no electricity-what 5 books do you take with you?
A. David Copperfield
B. The Rose of the Prophet Trilogy
C. One of those giant Sudoku books. (it would probably take me years)
D. Sedona Storm
E. The Beauty series by Anne Rice (c'mon now...I'd need something racy. ;))
13. You're packing your bag for that magical desert island that happens to have electricity, a TV, and a DVD player-what five DVDs do you take with you?
A. Romeo and Juliet
B. An American Tale
C. Sleeping Beauty
D. 300
E. Waiting
14. What celebrity do you think looks like you? What celebrity do other people say you look like?
I don't really think I look like any celebrity. But I've heard a lot of people say I look like Feist or Sarah Polley. When I had red hair lots of people thought I looked like Gillian Anderson.
15. What's something you do to try to live each day to the fullest?
I try to be as honest as I can be with the people I encounter regularly. This is usually translated into OVER EXCITEMENT ABOUT EVERYTHING! But it's really just a genuine exhibition of how I feel. I try to enjoy every moment that I'm in as much as I can. If we're going to watch a move I get geared up to enjoy it. If we're going to be eating dinner I'm excited about what it's going to be. If we have to clean, I mean, I doubt I'll be excited but I'll look forward to the end result. Ha. I just always try to be as positive as I can and as genuine as possible in my interactions. Also, if the opportunity to do something fun arises, more often than not I'll agree to go along with it. If it's not going to affect me negatively, why should I say no?!
16. Do you habitually judge yourself negatively? What about other people?
I definitely have a habit of seeing myself in a negative light. Left over feelings from school and allowing myself to take every comment or slight much too personally account for it. It's something I struggle with and am slowly overcoming. I still expect people's intentions towards me to be less than stellar, and I expect people to try to take advantage of me which makes it hard for me to get to know people at first. Still, it's something I'm trying to change about myself. I have to allow myself to trust other people with my...feelings...I suppose. Ha. I'm doing my best to avoid people who WILL abuse my trust and trying to surround myself with friends and family members whose intentions are as genuine as my own, because all relationships (friendship or otherwise) should be equal in that department, I believe. This way of thinking negatively certainly makes me VERY judgmental of other people, but it's another thing I'm trying not to do. I still make snap judgments, but I usually keep them to myself until the real character of a person shines through, allowing me to actually make an INFORMED decision about them.
17. List 10 things you are grateful for.
A. My mom.
B. The rest of my family. Ha.
C. Cale.
D. All of the wonderful friends I've made working at Chapters, and all of the ones I had previously who are still around for whatever reason. :) Thanks guys.
E. That I have the motivation and will to better myself constantly.
F. That I am able to attend university and try to achieve my dreams.
G. That I always have food to eat and something to drink.
H. That I can play any sport I like and my city has the resources for it, whether it's snowboarding, surfing, soccer, or a sport that doesn't begin with an "s". HA!
I. That I have the option to move any time.
J. That I have a job, which may not always support myself lifestyle, but still allows me to have money for myself.
18. What discoveries have you made about yourself lately? What other life changes do you still want to make?
I've discovered that I can be as healthy or as unhealthy as I like. What my body looks and feels like is up to me. I've discovered that I LOVE to compliment people and I'm trying to do just that. I've found that not everyone is out to get me, and that I can let go of my baggage if I'm willing. I love the Ellen show. Ha. I'm willing to work hard to achieve my goals. I'm allowed to be happy. I don't always have to bend over backwards for people. Sometimes it's ok if I disappoint people, as long as I have a legitimate reason. Sometimes I just don't want to do something, and that's ok too.
I still think I could be more trusting. And I think I could work harder in school. But I'm sure those things will come with time. Well...maybe not my school ethic. Heh.
19. What is one negative situation you were involved in that you still hold on to. Why do you think you have trouble letting it go?
The only negative situations in my life really have been my relationships with men. All of them. Ha. None of them were perfect and I allowed myself to get too caught up in the idea that I SHOULD be a certain way to someone else. Instead of being happy with myself, and having a partner to collaborate with, I fell into a BAD BAD BAD habit of shaping myself around the other person and putting my goals and hobbies on the back burner, or believing that they weren't important or relevant because they weren't important or relevant to someone ELSE. I've learned that my passions are my own and that no one can make me feel inferior or like I shouldn't be myself, but every once in a while I still feel inadequate. And of course there's all the regular baggage. "Do I feel this way because it's a relevant problem considering the current situation? Or do I feel this way because once upon a time I was in a situation similar to this one and I don't want it to end as badly as that one did?" That sort of way.
I think that I have trouble letting go because my problem has ALWAYS been letting go. I carry negativity around with me like a security blanket so that when bad things happen I can pretend that I'm not surprised. Y'know? If it happened before then it shouldn't hurt as badly this time? Right? (Yeah right...) Also, if I fail at something or allow myself to do poorly, I can fall back on the notion that I wasn't supported enough, so it's not really my fault. I was too busy supporting someone else to focus on myself. It's something I did more so in the past than now, which is good, but it's a habit I'm definitely training myself out of. Now I'm more likely to support someone else AS LONG AS I can achieve my own goals in the process.
20. What did you treasure most about being young?
Ha. What didn't I treasure? I treasured being able to make friends easily. Not caring about getting dirty. Breaking curfew. Having sleep-overs. Not worrying that making friends with a boy meant that I had to watch everything I said and did so that I didn't send the "wrong" signals. I could do whatever I wanted with my hair and it was still cute. My hair was perfect! SIGH! A lot of money was $5. No job, no responsibilities, no ticking biological clock. Homework was still fun. I was the smartest kid in my class. I didn't care if I didn't get a joke and no one made me feel stupid for it. It was easy to find clothes. And they were cheap. Bath time was fun time and I actually fit into the bathtub. I wasn't insecure about ANYTHING. Everything about being young was awesome. Ha.