It Began
In my head I only heard one thing, "Wake up…"
My eyes abruptly opened. I awoke confused with no memories of what had happened. I gasped for air because my body felt as though it had forgotten to breathe. My eyes were straining to see the environment around me. Scared and alone I shivered and viewed my surroundings. It was night with no lights to be seen in the distance. Around and above me grew thick trees squeezing out most of the moonlight, yet giving me enough to survey the uncertain ground. In front of me lay a tired old pond almost big enough to be called a lake. It was filled with years of rain runoff and muck that it looked peaceful enough to touch but too tainted to go for a swim in. The trees surrounded and covered the pond making it seem as though it were inside. In the center of the pond lied a small island. It was filled with dead decaying tree limbs covered in a dark stringy moss.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision, though it was the late night fog that made my view blurry. I smelled the mildew stench of rotting earth and the sour smell of foul water that lay before me. I put my hand down on the cold moist soil that stuck to my hand when I lifted it. I stood up dizzy from a long unintended sleep. I turned around to see the never-ending darkness of trees and bushes that filled every inch of my sight.
My mind struggling to think of the last place I was. A quick flash hit my mind. It hit me so hard that I fell to my knees. Hearing an echoing voice in the back of my mind, “Okay so I’ll see you tomorrow…” a wisp of pictures came into view. I saw the first of a car door closing, the next one of that car pulling down the street, another one of an empty dark neighborhood, and the final one of the front door of an old shack. My head was pounding full of sharp pains from the images in my mind. The rest was black. I realized I was closing my eyes and holding my hands to my temples. I opened my eyes and stood back up.
I tried to speak only to find a destitute voice. Pushing the wind from the back of my throat a rasping sound was the only thing I could form. I tried again but again no sound escaped from my dry breath. I screamed in trying to break this juncture in my throat, only to end up coughing a soundless cough almost as if I tore my lungs. It felt as though there was something inside my throat...keeping me from talking. I attempted one last time only to find my throat filled with pain and a horrid taste of some sort of acidic residue left over in my mouth. I could hear the night’s bugs taking over all the sounds. Distant bird chirps and a very low grumble that was so low it was hard to decipher where it was actually coming from.
I glanced down at what felt to be a small scratch on my side. I noticed my clothes were covered in a black wet substance and torn in several places. There was a nice sized slit in my shirt on the left side of my stomach. So I reached over to it and started to examine it. At first I brushed the outside of my shirt feeling this wet substance. I placed a finger through the hole in my shirt and I rubbed my body feeling a strange scratch. I realized the scratch was a lot bigger than I had thought. I took my finger and pressed into it. Streaks of pain entered every inch of my body. I removed my hand and pulled my shirt up. My finger had entered what looked to be a stab wound. It was still mildly bleeding so I placed pressure on it with my hands.
A cold sweat came over me and I was unable to keep my balance. I staggered to a nearby tree and took in a deep breath as I leaned against it. A loud crash in the distance caught my attention. I was unable to comprehend the direction, as the echoing was bouncing all over the area. I wanted to speak to see if there were any answers but I couldn't. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood straight up. I wasn't going to let this beat me.
I removed my flannel shirt and tied it around my stomach where I had found my wound, hoping this would keep me from bleeding everywhere. I decided to walk to the edge of the lake. I took one step to the left and my foot sank into the wet foully ground. Water squeezed into my shoe.
I glanced down thinking to myself, “Shit!”
A quick chill rose from the lower part of my back, up through my spine, and to the back of my neck. Goose bumps rose along my arms and legs. It was as if something was here, unseen by me, watching me. I turned around quickly to get a glimpse of what may be following me. There was nothing but the bleak wilderness.
My eyes were wide open as I saw a small flash of light off in the distance. At least I was sure my eyes were open. I stared in the direction of where I saw this light for what seemed an eternity, hoping it would occur again. I started wondering if I had moved my head. Perhaps it had come from the right a little, or was it the left.
“Fuck this,” I thought to myself.
Pushing my strained body, I headed toward the direction I imagined the flicker of light from. I was reminded of moths that are drawn to the electric bug zappers at night. It was the quick "ZAP" and then the moth tumbled to the earth below. They were dead and fried into a burnt toasty crisp. I laughed when I was a witness to their untimely stupid deaths. I could taste the smell of electrical currents, almost like the smell of burning hair from a curling iron. There was another memory back in its place.
As I walked I kept my eyes on the ground. Fearing I might miss a sign of footprints of some sort through the dirt or mud. I stepped carefully over branches and wild bushes that grew close to the lake’s edge. The night seemed endless and almost darker as time passed on. My heart leapt into my throat when I heard the snap of a twig behind me. I about faced instantly and surveyed the darkness.
“Probably a damn rodent running away from me,” I thought. I took a step back behind me and my foot hit something rather soft yet unbendable. Losing my balance I stumbled backwards; the pain from my abdomen surged back up when I hit the earth. I grimaced, breathing heavily as I looked to see what I had tripped on. I moved my legs off to the side and observed the dark object that was in front of me. To my horror this was something I really wasn’t expecting.
She lay on the ground, back facing towards me. Her arms were tucked in front of her body. Her legs crossed at her ankles that were hidden under a medium sized bush. Her pants were dark in color, possibly blue or even green, though it was hard to tell in the bleak light. She wore a black wool sweater. Her hair was in a French braid long enough to reach the mid of her back. It looked as though it were outlining her still body. From my view she looked peaceful, just as if she were asleep on the ground. So I placed my hand on her firm shoulder and I pulled her body toward me. Gravity took over and her shoulder came down to meet the earth, twisting her face around to glare right at me. I jumped back; her lifeless eyes were wide open and staring right through me. Her mouth was swollen open with dread. You could sense the fear she felt before her last few breaths escaped her body. It was a blank look of sheer terror and I couldn’t get that look out from my sight. I glanced down just a bit and notice her throat was ripped apart. It was if someone or something had bitten chunks of flesh out of it. She looked as though she had been there for days.
I covered my mouth as I felt something might come up, only my stomach was empty. So I only had a few dry heaves pushing up air. I moved my eyes down to the next bare piece of skin. Peering over her body I looked at her right arm. Her sleeve was torn off and her wrist was turned upwards toward the sky. Carved deeply into her flesh was, “MINE”.
I closed my eyes hoping this horror in front of me would be gone when I opened them. Only it wasn’t, she was still laying there, peering up at me, looking like she was pleading for my help, innocent and lonely yet terrified and dead. Quickly I stood up thinking that someone might be staring at me, or watching me find this poor dead girl. I was laughing at the shock that had just entered my mind. Without thinking I took a few steps backwards, glancing in every direction. I tripped on a stick and fell backwards again. My heart was racing in fear that I might view another dead body. I looked behind me, though no one was there. I looked to the side of me in fear a killer would jump out of the woodsy darkness with a knife in hand aiming right for my throat. Yet again, there was nothing but pure darkness. I glanced back over towards the body. A name came to her face, Sarah.
“Where did I know this name?” I thought to myself, glancing at her one more time. Her lifeless face and her ever-staring eyes seemed hypnotic to where I couldn’t turn my gaze from. My hand instinctively reached towards the wound on my stomach as my eyes moved to the knife lying by her hand. A grin spread across my face. I remembered the fear she emitted when I flashed the sharp blade after she tried to run away from me.
My cabin was hidden by a cave of trees and pushed back from the lake’s reach. From the front porch a low dock out stretched to the water. On the porch lay an old rocking chair that was tipped over on its side. The windows were obviously old and decrepit. They were so dirty you could barely see the outlines of the items inside. The wood on the cabin was rotting from too much moisture in the air. The roof made simply from one big piece of tin. It was an ugly cabin but it served its purpose to someone once. Green moss covered most of the roof and hung over giving a shady effect. The trees surrounding the cabin camouflaged it making it easy for someone to simply pass by it.
It was my home. I brought Sarah here to be with me. To show her what I could give her. Yet as the days passed she grew more and more distant from me. She promised she wouldn’t run when I removed her bindings. Though I knew better and I laughed when she ran out the door falling down the broken wooden steps on the porch. I grabbed my knife knowing she couldn’t get very far. It was only a matter of time. I heard her sobbing while she was fleeing from my grasp; perhaps she had twisted her ankle when she fell. I wished she would stop so I could tend to that for her. Only her game went on and I was going to end it. It was my hunt, she was my prey. I would claim her one way or another.
“Sarah,” I growled to her. “Come back here! You’re just making it worse for yourself.”
I heard her cries die off in the distance so I quickened my pace. My foot hit something and I fell forward. I turned over as she raced to snatch my knife. I grabbed her leg and she lunged towards me. I screamed as I felt my own blade enter my flesh. She jumped back when I stood peering down at the hilt. I glared into her eyes.
“Why? Why would you do that?” I questioned her. I could feel my anger boiling inside of me.
I saw her hands trembling uncontrollably. So I grabbed the hilt and slowly pulled it out of my body. The blade was dripping with my blood as I held it facing her. Her screams woke the surrounding wild life as my anger hit its breaking point.
My mind grew hazy in the details as it always did when my anger overwhelmed me. She was my first love, she will always be mine. I picked up her body and walked towards my cabin. I think she would prefer her final resting place under the dock. That way she will always be close by.
As I walked back into my old cabin from watching Sarah’s face sink into the murky waters I thought about Justine. She had told me I was a good man. Perhaps I can see her again sometime soon.
My eyes abruptly opened. I awoke confused with no memories of what had happened. I gasped for air because my body felt as though it had forgotten to breathe. My eyes were straining to see the environment around me. Scared and alone I shivered and viewed my surroundings. It was night with no lights to be seen in the distance. Around and above me grew thick trees squeezing out most of the moonlight, yet giving me enough to survey the uncertain ground. In front of me lay a tired old pond almost big enough to be called a lake. It was filled with years of rain runoff and muck that it looked peaceful enough to touch but too tainted to go for a swim in. The trees surrounded and covered the pond making it seem as though it were inside. In the center of the pond lied a small island. It was filled with dead decaying tree limbs covered in a dark stringy moss.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision, though it was the late night fog that made my view blurry. I smelled the mildew stench of rotting earth and the sour smell of foul water that lay before me. I put my hand down on the cold moist soil that stuck to my hand when I lifted it. I stood up dizzy from a long unintended sleep. I turned around to see the never-ending darkness of trees and bushes that filled every inch of my sight.
My mind struggling to think of the last place I was. A quick flash hit my mind. It hit me so hard that I fell to my knees. Hearing an echoing voice in the back of my mind, “Okay so I’ll see you tomorrow…” a wisp of pictures came into view. I saw the first of a car door closing, the next one of that car pulling down the street, another one of an empty dark neighborhood, and the final one of the front door of an old shack. My head was pounding full of sharp pains from the images in my mind. The rest was black. I realized I was closing my eyes and holding my hands to my temples. I opened my eyes and stood back up.
I tried to speak only to find a destitute voice. Pushing the wind from the back of my throat a rasping sound was the only thing I could form. I tried again but again no sound escaped from my dry breath. I screamed in trying to break this juncture in my throat, only to end up coughing a soundless cough almost as if I tore my lungs. It felt as though there was something inside my throat...keeping me from talking. I attempted one last time only to find my throat filled with pain and a horrid taste of some sort of acidic residue left over in my mouth. I could hear the night’s bugs taking over all the sounds. Distant bird chirps and a very low grumble that was so low it was hard to decipher where it was actually coming from.
I glanced down at what felt to be a small scratch on my side. I noticed my clothes were covered in a black wet substance and torn in several places. There was a nice sized slit in my shirt on the left side of my stomach. So I reached over to it and started to examine it. At first I brushed the outside of my shirt feeling this wet substance. I placed a finger through the hole in my shirt and I rubbed my body feeling a strange scratch. I realized the scratch was a lot bigger than I had thought. I took my finger and pressed into it. Streaks of pain entered every inch of my body. I removed my hand and pulled my shirt up. My finger had entered what looked to be a stab wound. It was still mildly bleeding so I placed pressure on it with my hands.
A cold sweat came over me and I was unable to keep my balance. I staggered to a nearby tree and took in a deep breath as I leaned against it. A loud crash in the distance caught my attention. I was unable to comprehend the direction, as the echoing was bouncing all over the area. I wanted to speak to see if there were any answers but I couldn't. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood straight up. I wasn't going to let this beat me.
I removed my flannel shirt and tied it around my stomach where I had found my wound, hoping this would keep me from bleeding everywhere. I decided to walk to the edge of the lake. I took one step to the left and my foot sank into the wet foully ground. Water squeezed into my shoe.
I glanced down thinking to myself, “Shit!”
A quick chill rose from the lower part of my back, up through my spine, and to the back of my neck. Goose bumps rose along my arms and legs. It was as if something was here, unseen by me, watching me. I turned around quickly to get a glimpse of what may be following me. There was nothing but the bleak wilderness.
My eyes were wide open as I saw a small flash of light off in the distance. At least I was sure my eyes were open. I stared in the direction of where I saw this light for what seemed an eternity, hoping it would occur again. I started wondering if I had moved my head. Perhaps it had come from the right a little, or was it the left.
“Fuck this,” I thought to myself.
Pushing my strained body, I headed toward the direction I imagined the flicker of light from. I was reminded of moths that are drawn to the electric bug zappers at night. It was the quick "ZAP" and then the moth tumbled to the earth below. They were dead and fried into a burnt toasty crisp. I laughed when I was a witness to their untimely stupid deaths. I could taste the smell of electrical currents, almost like the smell of burning hair from a curling iron. There was another memory back in its place.
As I walked I kept my eyes on the ground. Fearing I might miss a sign of footprints of some sort through the dirt or mud. I stepped carefully over branches and wild bushes that grew close to the lake’s edge. The night seemed endless and almost darker as time passed on. My heart leapt into my throat when I heard the snap of a twig behind me. I about faced instantly and surveyed the darkness.
“Probably a damn rodent running away from me,” I thought. I took a step back behind me and my foot hit something rather soft yet unbendable. Losing my balance I stumbled backwards; the pain from my abdomen surged back up when I hit the earth. I grimaced, breathing heavily as I looked to see what I had tripped on. I moved my legs off to the side and observed the dark object that was in front of me. To my horror this was something I really wasn’t expecting.
She lay on the ground, back facing towards me. Her arms were tucked in front of her body. Her legs crossed at her ankles that were hidden under a medium sized bush. Her pants were dark in color, possibly blue or even green, though it was hard to tell in the bleak light. She wore a black wool sweater. Her hair was in a French braid long enough to reach the mid of her back. It looked as though it were outlining her still body. From my view she looked peaceful, just as if she were asleep on the ground. So I placed my hand on her firm shoulder and I pulled her body toward me. Gravity took over and her shoulder came down to meet the earth, twisting her face around to glare right at me. I jumped back; her lifeless eyes were wide open and staring right through me. Her mouth was swollen open with dread. You could sense the fear she felt before her last few breaths escaped her body. It was a blank look of sheer terror and I couldn’t get that look out from my sight. I glanced down just a bit and notice her throat was ripped apart. It was if someone or something had bitten chunks of flesh out of it. She looked as though she had been there for days.
I covered my mouth as I felt something might come up, only my stomach was empty. So I only had a few dry heaves pushing up air. I moved my eyes down to the next bare piece of skin. Peering over her body I looked at her right arm. Her sleeve was torn off and her wrist was turned upwards toward the sky. Carved deeply into her flesh was, “MINE”.
I closed my eyes hoping this horror in front of me would be gone when I opened them. Only it wasn’t, she was still laying there, peering up at me, looking like she was pleading for my help, innocent and lonely yet terrified and dead. Quickly I stood up thinking that someone might be staring at me, or watching me find this poor dead girl. I was laughing at the shock that had just entered my mind. Without thinking I took a few steps backwards, glancing in every direction. I tripped on a stick and fell backwards again. My heart was racing in fear that I might view another dead body. I looked behind me, though no one was there. I looked to the side of me in fear a killer would jump out of the woodsy darkness with a knife in hand aiming right for my throat. Yet again, there was nothing but pure darkness. I glanced back over towards the body. A name came to her face, Sarah.
“Where did I know this name?” I thought to myself, glancing at her one more time. Her lifeless face and her ever-staring eyes seemed hypnotic to where I couldn’t turn my gaze from. My hand instinctively reached towards the wound on my stomach as my eyes moved to the knife lying by her hand. A grin spread across my face. I remembered the fear she emitted when I flashed the sharp blade after she tried to run away from me.
My cabin was hidden by a cave of trees and pushed back from the lake’s reach. From the front porch a low dock out stretched to the water. On the porch lay an old rocking chair that was tipped over on its side. The windows were obviously old and decrepit. They were so dirty you could barely see the outlines of the items inside. The wood on the cabin was rotting from too much moisture in the air. The roof made simply from one big piece of tin. It was an ugly cabin but it served its purpose to someone once. Green moss covered most of the roof and hung over giving a shady effect. The trees surrounding the cabin camouflaged it making it easy for someone to simply pass by it.
It was my home. I brought Sarah here to be with me. To show her what I could give her. Yet as the days passed she grew more and more distant from me. She promised she wouldn’t run when I removed her bindings. Though I knew better and I laughed when she ran out the door falling down the broken wooden steps on the porch. I grabbed my knife knowing she couldn’t get very far. It was only a matter of time. I heard her sobbing while she was fleeing from my grasp; perhaps she had twisted her ankle when she fell. I wished she would stop so I could tend to that for her. Only her game went on and I was going to end it. It was my hunt, she was my prey. I would claim her one way or another.
“Sarah,” I growled to her. “Come back here! You’re just making it worse for yourself.”
I heard her cries die off in the distance so I quickened my pace. My foot hit something and I fell forward. I turned over as she raced to snatch my knife. I grabbed her leg and she lunged towards me. I screamed as I felt my own blade enter my flesh. She jumped back when I stood peering down at the hilt. I glared into her eyes.
“Why? Why would you do that?” I questioned her. I could feel my anger boiling inside of me.
I saw her hands trembling uncontrollably. So I grabbed the hilt and slowly pulled it out of my body. The blade was dripping with my blood as I held it facing her. Her screams woke the surrounding wild life as my anger hit its breaking point.
My mind grew hazy in the details as it always did when my anger overwhelmed me. She was my first love, she will always be mine. I picked up her body and walked towards my cabin. I think she would prefer her final resting place under the dock. That way she will always be close by.
As I walked back into my old cabin from watching Sarah’s face sink into the murky waters I thought about Justine. She had told me I was a good man. Perhaps I can see her again sometime soon.