what is this?
I've been having this urge to call you and it wont go away. I really want to but I don't know how you'll react. Are you mad at me? Are you over me? Do you even want to hear from me? It's starting to hurt now. It's been almost two months since we last spoke. Our last conversation we talked about not talking and I remember saying "don't call me" but right now all I want to do is talk to you. All I want is to hear your voice. I want to know how your Christmas was and if you kissed someone on New Years. I can't get you out of my head. Why do I feel like this? I've been gone almost 6 months and now I'm starting to miss you. Now my heart is breaking. I'm scared that you've figured me out and realized what a bad girlfriend I had been. I'm sorry. I look back on everything and wish it could have been different. I wish I didnt do so many things behind your back. Why why why? I dont know. I wanted to feel more than what I felt. I wanted to love you more but I couldnt. I want to know if I can love someone more. I hope I can because I dont want to do the things I did to you to them. I dont want to hurt the person that I love. So did I love you? I think so. If I didnt then why does it hurt to not talk to you now?