damn depressants ....
I'm sick of pretending that some jokes don't cause me almost physical pain. I sometimes feel like all these things I'm working toward ... all these greater goals are just leading me nowhere. Underground maybe.
Everything is unnerving to me lately. Simple things. Keeping up with people, returning phone calls, doing the most basic of things .... simply getting out of bed. Sometimes I just lie there for hours. I don't have the guts to do anything else. I'm losing touch and burning bridges, and I can't seem to force myself to care. How easily we forget each other. All of us. Even the most important of friends, lovers, companions, can erase you almost by accident. We treasure our bonds insofar as they are familiar. I feel separated by much more than mere distance from some people who were very dear to me in the not so distant past. We're just not around each other. And, maybe we'll simply grow to not even know each other. At least, not in any real sense.
I'm beginning to understand that some smells, some songs, some tastes, some memories ... will continue to break my heart until the day I die.
Everything is unnerving to me lately. Simple things. Keeping up with people, returning phone calls, doing the most basic of things .... simply getting out of bed. Sometimes I just lie there for hours. I don't have the guts to do anything else. I'm losing touch and burning bridges, and I can't seem to force myself to care. How easily we forget each other. All of us. Even the most important of friends, lovers, companions, can erase you almost by accident. We treasure our bonds insofar as they are familiar. I feel separated by much more than mere distance from some people who were very dear to me in the not so distant past. We're just not around each other. And, maybe we'll simply grow to not even know each other. At least, not in any real sense.
I'm beginning to understand that some smells, some songs, some tastes, some memories ... will continue to break my heart until the day I die.